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Posted By:
Princessblackrose_2478415 Lock
Princessblackrose_2478415
Member since:
May, 2013
Star
Status: Offline
Posts: 8
im walking though a dark scary forest and looking around i see no sign of home i dont know were i am . i hear a noise and star runnung i hear a holw and a deep low growl and suddenlt i have a pack of hungry werewolfs comeing to get me . i run but know its no good ill be there next meal . but i keep going to give me some extra moments of life......

blackrose


Posted By:
NachozRule Lock
NachozRule
Member since:
March, 2010
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 8285
*clap*
Amazing, GREAT grammar, great detail, nice length, also nice character introduction.
pure amazing. .-.

H3H3H3H3 >:]


Posted By:
JiminyCrispies
JiminyCrispies
Member since:
January, 2012
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 3078
Dude, there was no need for the sarcasm; you're not helping her improve by using it. Tongue Out 

Jag och min valp, Elvis
Me and my pup Elvis [ whispers ] I woke him up to do this c:


Posted By:
TheoryofMind
TheoryofMind
Member since:
May, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 292
I would suggest you improve on your wording, grammar, punctuation, etc. 


Posted By:
NachozRule Lock
NachozRule
Member since:
March, 2010
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 8285

"JiminyCrispies" wrote:

Dude, there was no need for the sarcasm; you're not helping her improve by using it. Tongue Out 

i basically just pointed out everything that was wrong with sarcasm.
I don't know why that shouldn't work.

H3H3H3H3 >:]


Posted By:
Princessblackrose_2478415 Lock
Princessblackrose_2478415
Member since:
May, 2013
Star
Status: Offline
Posts: 8
i keep running then i see a light up ahead and i run twords it. as i get nearer i see its a house i can tell theres no one in it right now . i can feel it but still i run up to the house to find a way in and keep the beast away from me

blackrose


Posted By:
brunostar
brunostar
Member since:
February, 2012
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 13471
o__o

Devil TongueHangoverFrustrated NoseWink GrinCool GrinEnragedHurtAngel Wink

DevilShoutBlushWink TongueCool TongueEmbarrassedGrinClown


Posted By:
melissawolf
melissawolf
Member since:
April, 2013
StarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 44
that was amazing. u do better then me

Shaywolf
love you all


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