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Posted By:
Princessblackrose_2478415 Lock
Princessblackrose_2478415
Member since:
May 2013
Status:
Offline

Posts: 8
Star
Posted over 3 years ago
im walking though a dark scary forest and looking around i see no sign of home i dont know were i am . i hear a noise and star runnung i hear a holw and a deep low growl and suddenlt i have a pack of hungry werewolfs comeing to get me . i run but know its no good ill be there next meal . but i keep going to give me some extra moments of life......

blackrose


Posted By:
NachozRule Lock
NachozRule
Member since:
March 2010
Status:
Offline

Posts: 8284
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
*clap*
Amazing, GREAT grammar, great detail, nice length, also nice character introduction.
pure amazing. .-.

H3H3H3H3 >:]


Posted By:
JiminyCrispies
JiminyCrispies
Member since:
January 2012
Status:
Offline

Posts: 3078
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
Dude, there was no need for the sarcasm; you're not helping her improve by using it. Tongue Out 

Jag och min valp, Elvis
Me and my pup Elvis [ whispers ] I woke him up to do this c:


Posted By:
TheoryofMind_2457723 Lock
TheoryofMind_2457723
Member since:
May 2013
Status:
Offline

Posts: 292
StarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
I would suggest you improve on your wording, grammar, punctuation, etc. 


Posted By:
NachozRule Lock
NachozRule
Member since:
March 2010
Status:
Offline

Posts: 8284
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago

"JiminyCrispies" wrote:

Dude, there was no need for the sarcasm; you're not helping her improve by using it. Tongue Out 

i basically just pointed out everything that was wrong with sarcasm.
I don't know why that shouldn't work.

H3H3H3H3 >:]


Posted By:
Princessblackrose_2478415 Lock
Princessblackrose_2478415
Member since:
May 2013
Status:
Offline

Posts: 8
Star
Posted over 3 years ago
i keep running then i see a light up ahead and i run twords it. as i get nearer i see its a house i can tell theres no one in it right now . i can feel it but still i run up to the house to find a way in and keep the beast away from me

blackrose


Posted By:
brunostar Lock
brunostar
Member since:
January 2012
Status:
Offline

Posts: 13535
StarStarStarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
o__o


Posted By:
melissawolf_2447714 Lock
melissawolf_2447714
Member since:
April 2013
Status:
Offline

Posts: 82
StarStarStar
Posted over 3 years ago
that was amazing. u do better then me

Shaywolf
love you all


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