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How NOT to write a story

Posted By:
scn71402_1900221 Lock
scn71402_1900221
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September, 2011
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DO NOT START A STORY WITH WEATHER
Yes, you can work weather into the scene. But I don't care that it was sixty-five degrees on a spring morning, and if you make that your first sentence you're going to remain unpublished.

DO NOT START A STORY WITH CHARACTER DESCRIPTION
Your protag may be named Bob ########, and he was born inSunnydale, Ohio in 1967, but you need to work that into the body of the story and not make it the first sentence. Better yet, don't work it in anywhere.

DO NOT START A STORY BY ADDRESSING THE READER
"You'll never believe what happened on July 2, 1943." You're right. I won't believe it, because I just stopped reading.

DO NOT START A STORY WITH PREMONITION
"Phil Assmaster didn't know he was going to die that day." But JoeKonrath knows you're not going to win this contest.

DO NOT START A STORY WITH THE PROTAG WAKING UP
Frankly, it shocked me how many stories began like this. More sothan any other way I'm warning against. Opening your eyes because you had a bad dream or heard a strange noise is a quick way to put the reader to sleep.

DO NOT START A STORY WITH CLICHES
Once upon a time. A long time ago. This is a true story. Ugh. Next time, save me the trouble and put the story in your own recycle bin.

DO NOT START A STORY WITH SETTING DESCRIPTION
"Moronville, Ohio was a town of 8371 people originally founded in 1872 by Quakers." Hopefully, one of those Quakers has a gun and will shoot me.

DO NOT START A STORY WITH TELLING
"Josh felt terrible." Really? How am I supposed to picture that? Maybe I picture Josh's stomach aching, his head throbbing, and the hole where his heart is supposed to be. If I'm picturing that, perhaps you should have as well and written it that way.

DO NOT START A STORY WITH ANY DESCRIPTION
I don't care if you're describing a person, place, thing, era, or whatever. I want to read about conflict, not helper words.

DO NOT USE HELPER WORDS
Force yourself to pare away every adverb, and half your adjectives. Also kill any speaker attribution other than "said" and "asked."

DO NOT START A STORY WITH A PROLOGUE
Your short story doesn't need a prologue. Your novel probably doesn't either.

DO NOT USE EXCLAMATION POINTS!
Especially a bunch of them!!!!!!!

DO NOT USE THE SAME FARUQING WORD TWICE IN THE SAME FARUQING PARAGRAPH
Get the faruquing point?

GRAMMER AND SPELING SHOULD BE PREFECT
If you don't care, why should I? Ditto annoying dialect spelling. Y'all get a-ight wit dat sheet, 'kay?

And finally:

DO NOT MAKE YOUR MAIN CHARACTER AN ANIMAL
Ever


The hate can't die by hate, but only with love (Buddha)


How NOT to write a story

Posted By:
BaileyInc_2480804 Lock
BaileyInc_2480804
Member since:
May, 2013
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Posts: 58
O.o good advice.

♥вαιℓєу♥


How NOT to write a story

Posted By:
NachozRule Lock
NachozRule
Member since:
March, 2010
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Posts: 8291
Some of this advice is the worst advice you can ever follow.
especially the prologue and the last advice.

H3H3H3H3 >:]


How NOT to write a story

Posted By:
Kirsteeeeen
Kirsteeeeen
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June, 2013
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Weather can make a good beginning, depending on the topic. I've also read good ones with premonitions. And setting descriptions. And telling. And you know what? I've even read good animal stories. It's all in the overall tale.

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How NOT to write a story

Posted By:
Jelly3
Jelly3
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March, 2013
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Posts: 7938

"Kirsteeeeen" wrote:

Weather can make a good beginning, depending on the topic. I've also read good ones with premonitions. And setting descriptions. And telling. And you know what? I've even read good animal stories. It's all in the overall tale.


She's right..




How NOT to write a story

Posted By:
Lifted
Lifted
Member since:
November, 2011
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Posts: 485
Some of that is good things to do, like the descriptive things, you aren't supposed to use said and asked over and over. Here's an example:

John said to Mary," Let's go on a picnic!"
Then Mary asked, "Where?"
John said," At the park, of course!"

See what I mean? That was boring! Here is a more interesting example:

John exclaimed to Mary," Let's go on a picnic!"
Mary wondered," Where?"
John replied," At the park, of course!"

See? That was more interesting since I used different words, which was one of the useful pieces of info you gave us. Other pieces were off the mark, and good for if you want to write an awful story.

Hey I'm A Thing

Life is not a wish granting factory.


How NOT to write a story

Posted By:
naruto200
naruto200
Member since:
November, 2009
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Posts: 14851
Not the best advise.


How NOT to write a story

Posted By:
NachozRule Lock
NachozRule
Member since:
March, 2010
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Status: Offline
Posts: 8291


"naruto200" wrote:


Not the best advice.

...your welcome.

H3H3H3H3 >:]


How NOT to write a story

Posted By:
naruto200
naruto200
Member since:
November, 2009
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Status: Online
Posts: 14851

"NachozRule" wrote:





"naruto200" wrote:




Not the best advice.

...your welcome.
Not you the 1st poster. heheh


How NOT to write a story

Posted By:
NachozRule Lock
NachozRule
Member since:
March, 2010
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Status: Offline
Posts: 8291

"naruto200" wrote:



"NachozRule" wrote:








"naruto200" wrote:






Not the best advice.

...your welcome.
Not you the 1st poster. heheh

no I corrected your post. see. ;O

"NachozRule" wrote:





"naruto200" wrote:




Not the best advi>>>>>SEE THIS? SEE THIS? c<<<<<<e

...your welcome.

H3H3H3H3 >:]


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