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Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Thumb
Member since:
April 2012
Posts: 4851

"Christopher? Come on. We'll be late for the doctor's appointment. You have to go."
Christopher ######. "Seriously? We went yesterday."
His mother looked at him. She looked upset. Water filled her eyes.
"Mum? No, don't worry. I'll be fine. I promise. Don't cry, okay?" He said, hugging her tightly. "I love you." He said, not letting her go.
"I just. Don't want you to leave. You're my little boy." She sniffed. 
Christopher was dying. Dying of cancer.
"Well I won't leave you." Christopher smiled weakly. She wiped her eyes, and gave him his coat. "Here." She laughed slightly. "I don't ever mean to nag. I just want you to get better.."
Christopher nodded. "I know"
With that, they headed out the door and into the car. 
It was three hours' drive to the cancer treatment center. But he didn't mind. Christopher loved his mother. She was the only relative he had. 


I'm so sorry it's really short, but I'll write more. Feedback appreciated.


Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Thumb
Member since:
May 2013
Posts: 2342

I like it. smile


Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Thumb
Member since:
March 2013
Posts: 2486

"MechanicWolf" wrote:

I like it. smile

blooming Flower Gif
❥ѕмιℓє, ℓσνє ιт'ѕ gσσ∂ fσя уσυ❥


Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl ebfa4eefafa81bb90719837d64c24469880b9b6f180430fe833764236bc8b5a4
Member since:
June 2013
Posts: 1

 smile that ws cool 


Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl ebfa4eefafa81bb90719837d64c24469880b9b6f180430fe833764236bc8b5a4
Member since:
May 2013
Posts: 26

I will tell you my honest opinion. This is a sad story... but very childish! There are also MANY grammatical issues! I am only telling you this so you can make it better, not to hurt your feelings. Most writers go through almost ten or more rough drafts before they can write the final paper! But keep trying, you can strive to be whatever you want to be but it will take a lot of work! Big Grin

I have feelings, a soul, and a heart, just like you...but I have my own mind, and I look like no one else in the universe! We are all awesome and special in our own way! But if you hurt me or anyone that I love, you better watch out! I speak the truth. If you don't like the truth that's your problem. I am me, and no one will change that!!!
Add Me


Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Thumb
Member since:
April 2012
Posts: 4851

"-HeavenlyAngel-" wrote:

I will tell you my honest opinion. This is a sad story... but very childish! There are also MANY grammatical issues! I am only telling you this so you can make it better, not to hurt your feelings. Most writers go through almost ten or more rough drafts before they can write the final paper! But keep trying, you can strive to be whatever you want to be but it will take a lot of work! Big Grin
c: I know, but I'm asking how my WRITING is. Not grammar.


Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Thumb
Lock e1691472cafece64304be81c5c9c507a93800d3a6cd5948297266277351b71ef
Member since:
March 2010
Posts: 8272

"-HeavenlyAngel-" wrote:

I will tell you my honest opinion. This is a sad story... but very childish! There are also MANY grammatical issues! I am only telling you this so you can make it better, not to hurt your feelings. Most writers go through almost ten or more rough drafts before they can write the final paper! But keep trying, you can strive to be whatever you want to be but it will take a lot of work! Big Grin

says the person who makes there text bright green.
god dangit that texts hurts my eyes.
ugh.

H3H3H3H3 >:]


Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Thumb
Member since:
January 2012
Posts: 9211

"MechanicWolf" wrote:

I like it. smile

Being normal is so boring~
Why not be insane instead?
Devil

6000th post 9/16/2014 6:13 PM Big Grin
8888th post 3/27/2015 (For you huge! Big Grin)


Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Thumb
Member since:
April 2012
Posts: 4851

Thanks guys c:

Christopher's dad had died last summer in a car accident. He was a doctor, who loved his wife and child with every inch of his heart. He was filled with grief when his son was diagnosed with brain cancer. A grief that couldn't even be expressed with words, or emotions. He wanted to make sure he had the best time possible with his son, so, he decided to buy a boat, and travel the whole world with him. Christopher had always wanted to do that.
It was originally a secret. A surprise for Christopher with his dad, and his father wanted it to be perfect. So the night before, he was going to just check on it, and make sure it had everything they needed to set off the next morning.
But then the accident on the road happened. 
He set off just as usual. He drove the car out of the space in front of the house, and was driving to the harbor. 
Suddenly, a car came speeding towards him, on the wrong side of the road. He tried his best to avoid it, but the road was narrow, and there was nothing he could do.
His wife and son were told the next morning, by police. Christopher felt as if his heart was split in two, and his whole world had broken.


Posted over 4 years ago

Posted By:

Thumb
Member since:
April 2012
Posts: 4851

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