Kw-logo-smaller

Random

Poetry & Stories
Show your creative writing side to other users.

Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
kukookristy
kukookristy
Member since:
November, 2012
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 15804
Quite often I enter this thing called young writers and this year I've written  a poem. I'd love some advice before I send it off as it may end up published. No title yet.  And please don't copy this took a long time to write!

Turn the page, another, and then one more,
These things are enthralling, not some old bore.
You don't believe that, they just don't think like you.
You stay quiet,  turn the page, out of view.
Out of sight, out of view, Just your thoughts and you.
You like it that way, and so you say,
And really it gets better every day.
You stay quiet,  turn the page, out of view.
All the attention? You don't need it.
Things like that, in the back of your mind they sit.
Crowds,  lots of people? Thats not you.
Fictional characters in your books, and you.
"Another book?" you hear them whine
But your wrapped in the page, onto the next line.
Others see blue skys, green grass, the norm,
But for you, the world seems to transform.
The plain roads,  animals and trees,
Plain old skies and boring seas.
Not for you, Not with your view.
The people from your book spring to life around you,
The hobbits, the time travellers,  wizards and witches too.
Who needs reality if you've got books?  
Because nothing is really as it looks.

The world is not a wish granting factory.
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly, then all at once.
Okay? Okay.
It's a metaphor Hazel Grace.
- The fault on in our stars


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
CandyDreamer Lock
CandyDreamer
Member since:
August, 2013
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 2954
WOWEEEE THIS IS UBER-AWESOME DJDSJKSJJKSJKSJ  Big Grin
-Presses the invisible like button-

*.


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
kukookristy
kukookristy
Member since:
November, 2012
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 15804
Thank you Sophie! My parents read it last night and entered it into the competition so there is now a chance that it may be published in a book with lots of other poems.
I've got into it once before,  for a poem m, and once ffor a drawing.  (Both when I was really young. )

The world is not a wish granting factory.
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly, then all at once.
Okay? Okay.
It's a metaphor Hazel Grace.
- The fault on in our stars


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
CandyDreamer Lock
CandyDreamer
Member since:
August, 2013
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 2954

"kukookristy" wrote:

Thank you Sophie! My parents read it last night and entered it into the competition so there is now a chance that it may be published in a book with lots of other poems.

I've got into it once before,  for a poem m, and once ffor a drawing.  (Both when I was really young. )
Your welcome and we did that stuff in Year 5 too. Me had to draw a design and if someone won from our class it got put on a t-shirt for a street fair, I didn't win though.Tongue Out

*.


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
QTpie14
QTpie14
Member since:
March, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 442
awesome!!

I could walk but I dance, I could talk but I sing, I could smile but I laugh and I could think but I dream.

THIS IS MY SIGGY :P HA HA HA HA

Four a thought in my head I have three things two words five people going ONE DIRECTION....smile

be yourself...never let someone change u!!!

:P making these faces are addicting :P smile Big Grin Frustrated Wink Tongue


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
kukookristy
kukookristy
Member since:
November, 2012
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 15804

"QTpie14" wrote:

awesome!!
Thanks! 

The world is not a wish granting factory.
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly, then all at once.
Okay? Okay.
It's a metaphor Hazel Grace.
- The fault on in our stars


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
hugebear
hugebear
Member since:
February, 2007
Junior Mod
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 23740
I loves this and its epical Big Grin

^^ Me opinion smile 

___________________________
hugebear from gracie and mia
classicalmusicisepicdonethis for me siggy :love thank you

from classicalmusicisepic for mesiggy

HugeHugeHugeHuge
hugebearkeep calm and hug ted
HugeHugeHugeHuge


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
kukookristy
kukookristy
Member since:
November, 2012
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 15804

"hugebear" wrote:

I loves this and its epical Big Grin


^^ Me opinion smile 

Thanks Huge!
Now I have to.wait between 2 and 10 weeks to find out if mine is one of the chosen ones. 

The world is not a wish granting factory.
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly, then all at once.
Okay? Okay.
It's a metaphor Hazel Grace.
- The fault on in our stars


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
hugebear
hugebear
Member since:
February, 2007
Junior Mod
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 23740

"kukookristy" wrote:



"hugebear" wrote:


I loves this and its epical Big Grin



^^ Me opinion smile 

Thanks Huge!
Now I have to.wait between 2 and 10 weeks to find out if mine is one of the chosen ones. 


Good luck Love I love your writing and I hope you get chosen smile  

___________________________
hugebear from gracie and mia
classicalmusicisepicdonethis for me siggy :love thank you

from classicalmusicisepic for mesiggy

HugeHugeHugeHuge
hugebearkeep calm and hug ted
HugeHugeHugeHuge


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
kukookristy
kukookristy
Member since:
November, 2012
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 15804

"hugebear" wrote:

"kukookristy" wrote:



"hugebear" wrote:


I loves this and its epical Big Grin



^^ Me opinion smile 

Thanks Huge!
Now I have to.wait between 2 and 10 weeks to find out if mine is one of the chosen ones. 


Good luck Love I love your writing and I hope you get chosen smile  
Thanks again Huge!! Haha all fingers crossed. 

The world is not a wish granting factory.
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly, then all at once.
Okay? Okay.
It's a metaphor Hazel Grace.
- The fault on in our stars


play online games

Candy-100

A great online version of the famous Candy Crush. This is the best game launched...

1515_gl_kidzworld_100x100_jpg_fz

Intriguing planets, weird and wonderful characters; challenge friends and find a...

157262_(2)

When you go back to Candyland, you’ll wonder why you ever left in the first plac...

100x100_ra_logo_girl

Uncle George has left you his farm, but unfortunately it’s in pretty bad shape. ...

_thumb_100x100

Shoot blobs with different properies to merge yellow blobs. Your blobs can be re...

latest forum posts

why mum knows everthing?

Chat not working for me!

Am I... Crazy?

is it wrong?

$ports....

favorite teams?

latest videos