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Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
kukookristy
kukookristy
Member since:
November, 2012
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Quite often I enter this thing called young writers and this year I've written  a poem. I'd love some advice before I send it off as it may end up published. No title yet.  And please don't copy this took a long time to write!

Turn the page, another, and then one more,
These things are enthralling, not some old bore.
You don't believe that, they just don't think like you.
You stay quiet,  turn the page, out of view.
Out of sight, out of view, Just your thoughts and you.
You like it that way, and so you say,
And really it gets better every day.
You stay quiet,  turn the page, out of view.
All the attention? You don't need it.
Things like that, in the back of your mind they sit.
Crowds,  lots of people? Thats not you.
Fictional characters in your books, and you.
"Another book?" you hear them whine
But your wrapped in the page, onto the next line.
Others see blue skys, green grass, the norm,
But for you, the world seems to transform.
The plain roads,  animals and trees,
Plain old skies and boring seas.
Not for you, Not with your view.
The people from your book spring to life around you,
The hobbits, the time travellers,  wizards and witches too.
Who needs reality if you've got books?  
Because nothing is really as it looks.

The world is not a wish granting factory.
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly, then all at once.
Okay? Okay.
It's a metaphor Hazel Grace.
- The fault on in our stars


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
CandyDreamer Lock
CandyDreamer
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August, 2013
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WOWEEEE THIS IS UBER-AWESOME DJDSJKSJJKSJKSJ  Big Grin
-Presses the invisible like button-

*.


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
kukookristy
kukookristy
Member since:
November, 2012
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Thank you Sophie! My parents read it last night and entered it into the competition so there is now a chance that it may be published in a book with lots of other poems.
I've got into it once before,  for a poem m, and once ffor a drawing.  (Both when I was really young. )

The world is not a wish granting factory.
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly, then all at once.
Okay? Okay.
It's a metaphor Hazel Grace.
- The fault on in our stars


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
CandyDreamer Lock
CandyDreamer
Member since:
August, 2013
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Posts: 2954

"kukookristy" wrote:

Thank you Sophie! My parents read it last night and entered it into the competition so there is now a chance that it may be published in a book with lots of other poems.

I've got into it once before,  for a poem m, and once ffor a drawing.  (Both when I was really young. )
Your welcome and we did that stuff in Year 5 too. Me had to draw a design and if someone won from our class it got put on a t-shirt for a street fair, I didn't win though.Tongue Out

*.


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
QTpie14
QTpie14
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March, 2013
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awesome!!

I could walk but I dance, I could talk but I sing, I could smile but I laugh and I could think but I dream.

THIS IS MY SIGGY :P HA HA HA HA

Four a thought in my head I have three things two words five people going ONE DIRECTION....smile

be yourself...never let someone change u!!!

:P making these faces are addicting :P smile Big Grin Frustrated Wink Tongue


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
kukookristy
kukookristy
Member since:
November, 2012
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Posts: 15839

"QTpie14" wrote:

awesome!!
Thanks! 

The world is not a wish granting factory.
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly, then all at once.
Okay? Okay.
It's a metaphor Hazel Grace.
- The fault on in our stars


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
hugebear
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February, 2007
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I loves this and its epical Big Grin

^^ Me opinion smile 

___________________________
hugebear from gracie and mia
classicalmusicisepicdonethis for me siggy :love thank you

from classicalmusicisepic for mesiggy


hugebearkeep calm and hug ted


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
kukookristy
kukookristy
Member since:
November, 2012
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 15839

"hugebear" wrote:

I loves this and its epical Big Grin


^^ Me opinion smile 

Thanks Huge!
Now I have to.wait between 2 and 10 weeks to find out if mine is one of the chosen ones. 

The world is not a wish granting factory.
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly, then all at once.
Okay? Okay.
It's a metaphor Hazel Grace.
- The fault on in our stars


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
hugebear
hugebear
Member since:
February, 2007
Junior Mod
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Status: Offline
Posts: 25282

"kukookristy" wrote:



"hugebear" wrote:


I loves this and its epical Big Grin



^^ Me opinion smile 

Thanks Huge!
Now I have to.wait between 2 and 10 weeks to find out if mine is one of the chosen ones. 


Good luck Love I love your writing and I hope you get chosen smile  

___________________________
hugebear from gracie and mia
classicalmusicisepicdonethis for me siggy :love thank you

from classicalmusicisepic for mesiggy


hugebearkeep calm and hug ted


Opinions and advice are needed! !

Posted By:
kukookristy
kukookristy
Member since:
November, 2012
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 15839

"hugebear" wrote:

"kukookristy" wrote:



"hugebear" wrote:


I loves this and its epical Big Grin



^^ Me opinion smile 

Thanks Huge!
Now I have to.wait between 2 and 10 weeks to find out if mine is one of the chosen ones. 


Good luck Love I love your writing and I hope you get chosen smile  
Thanks again Huge!! Haha all fingers crossed. 

The world is not a wish granting factory.
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities.
I fell in love the way you fall asleep. Slowly, then all at once.
Okay? Okay.
It's a metaphor Hazel Grace.
- The fault on in our stars


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