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Posted By:
Ayoosnickers
Ayoosnickers
Member since:
October 2013
Status:
Offline

Posts: 2
Star 771721baa52164faab3e80914eb3e8e418513288f39d7ccffd0d5c4f8d045d1e
Posted almost 4 years ago
The orangish red sun was setting. I could feel a cold breeze about to come, my arms instantly filled with goose bumps. Even though I had on 2 shirts,a hoodie, and a winter coat I still was cold."I'm about to head home." I said to my friend Lucy. We were hanging out by Leonardo Art Shop and Steak & Coffee. "Wait Anais he should be here soon, please I don't wanna do this alone"Lucy pleaded. "5 more minutes."I said crossing my arms. I looked at my I-phone it was 6:57 my mom texted me 3 times asking when I was coming home dinner was ready. I lied and texted her I was eating dinner at Lucy's."Lucy, maybe we should just leave its getting dark and my mom is interrogating me, plus i'm really tired" I said. I began to walk home the leaves crunching under my feet and the tree branches swaying. Someone grabbed my arm, I turned around it was Lucy. "Please!" she pleaded. Just then a red truck pulled up by steak & coffee. "There he is." she said running towards the truck." I grabbed her arm. "Lucy what do we look like 15 year old girls going to meet a 18 year old guy we've never seen"I whispered. "We've seen pictures of him online" Lucy argued yanking her arm away from me. She ran towards the truck I ran after her I wasn't letting her meet him alone. A man with a mustache got out the truck he had long dark brown hair. "Lucy Reystack?" He said. She nodded her head dumb founded. "Nice to meet you"he said opening his arms for a hug. Lucy walked forward and he pulled something out his coat and all I seen was blood dripping. Lucy looked back at me crying in pain. She had a deep gash on her eyebrow. "Lucy!" I screamed running toward her. I'm gonna die i thought.

I ran towards the man he looked at me with fury in his eyes.

Posted By:
Ayoosnickers
Ayoosnickers
Member since:
October 2013
Status:
Offline

Posts: 2
Star 771721baa52164faab3e80914eb3e8e418513288f39d7ccffd0d5c4f8d045d1e
Posted almost 4 years ago
Feed back plz

Posted By:
Xxisabella8D
Xxisabella8D
Member since:
October 2013
Status:
Offline

Posts: 36
Star 771721baa52164faab3e80914eb3e8e418513288f39d7ccffd0d5c4f8d045d1eStar 771721baa52164faab3e80914eb3e8e418513288f39d7ccffd0d5c4f8d045d1eStar 771721baa52164faab3e80914eb3e8e418513288f39d7ccffd0d5c4f8d045d1e
Posted almost 4 years ago
That's a pretty good start. It needs some grammar and punctuation help but the plot sounds good to me.

Posted By:
ritarip
ritarip
Member since:
March 2014
Status:
Offline

Posts: 1
Star 771721baa52164faab3e80914eb3e8e418513288f39d7ccffd0d5c4f8d045d1e
Posted over 3 years ago
wow how can i creat one like that

silvet


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