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Posted By:
NutellaAffair
NutellaAffair
Member since:
March 2014
Status:
Offline

Posts: 38
StarStarStar
Posted over 2 years ago
So I wrote this one myself. I'm really into writing poetry, and this is just one of the many I wrote recently. Its theme is new found romance. What do you guys think? Good enough? If it gets positive response, I'll post more of them. Hope you like it.

---

When all is said and done
 
The silence swirls in rings around us
 
Our bodies are moving as one
 
And the day breaks once more
 
Our breathing intertwined,
 
An intricate frenzy
 
My heart leaning in to find where you stand
 
The hope burrowing deep inside me
 
My mind watching from a distance
 
As we are exhaling gasps of spring
 
I feel myself pull into this instance
 
And in the end, it felt as if it were beginning
 
Once more I’ll ask
 
If the fantasy of two lovers is real
 
Your lips descended in a single task
 
And in that moment, the fate of our love was sealed.


Posted By:
NutellaAffair
NutellaAffair
Member since:
March 2014
Status:
Offline

Posts: 38
StarStarStar
Posted over 2 years ago
I really need some feedback. 


Posted By:
woahitskar
woahitskar
Member since:
February 2014
Status:
Offline

Posts: 391
StarStarStarStar
Posted over 2 years ago
I like this!

Do me a favor: look in the mirror, and observe the reflection that's staring right at you. Do you see that? That's an alive, breathing, human being, that deserves to be happy, like anybody else in this world. That's a human being that deserves love. A being that's went through so much, but stood so strong. I'm so proud of you.


Posted By:
NutellaAffair
NutellaAffair
Member since:
March 2014
Status:
Offline

Posts: 38
StarStarStar
Posted over 2 years ago
Thanks! And I'd really appreciate it if more people read my poem.


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