Tears fall down my cheeks as I watch him walk away. After everything we've been through, after everything that's happen; he chooses Emma over me.
It's fine with me, it always has to be.
I watch as he stops midway, the purple suitcase banging against the ground as he stops. He doesn't turn around, and the bodyguard struggles to keep the cheering fans away.
I know what you're probably thinking, a 14 year old boy with fans?
My heart pounds with curiosity. Is he gonna leave? Is he gonna stay? I press my lips together and I watch as he just stands there, frozen.
He runs his fingers through his sandy hair and he breathes heavily, saying something inaudible to me.
Then he continues to walk and the gate closes.
I look carefully, wondering if he's going to turn around and say, "I can't leave you, I'm so sorry" but that doesn't happen.
I should've known better. Who am I compared to a guy like him? A rich, powerful man who wants his son to be with a fine young lady with elegancy.
I can do that, I can be elegant.... or can I?
I shake my head, what's the point? It isn't like he's gonna turn back anyways.
Yeah, I should've known better. There is no "us" and I am perhaps a nobody. I made the biggest mistake of my life and he made the biggest mistake of forgiving me.
I did it once before, and I'm ashamed to say I would do it again.
I want to sit down and burst into tears or run to him.
But would he forgive me?
Today I see pain, I saw pain in his eyes as he turned around and left me. I saw pain in his hands as he trembled, struggling to keep the suitcase in his hand.
I'm going insane.
What hurts the most isn't the fact that I am standing in a plain white airport, or the fact I have nobody to talk to.
What hurts is he didn't look back. What hurts is he didn't say goodbye.
But if I could reply that scene, and he really did say goodbye then I wouldn't say anything at all.
Because I don't wanna say goodbye. Not anymore