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A Bad Poem

Posted By:
ValenciaRose
ValenciaRose
Member since:
April, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Online
Posts: 501
So I was reading this story on a website and the author ended the chapter at a cliffhanger and I am so upset because I want to know whether or not she survived so basically I wrote this poem (which is kinda bad) and it just sums up the story that I read + what I think is not going to happen next.

#
24 hours...

7pm, I don't know what you did wrong
It's all my fault when I brought you along
We were dancing
But she was crying
She thinks I'm cheating on her
We fight in public
But I don't care
I watch her go
Without a care
9pm, did you really run away?
I'm sitting at a party
Wondering if you're ok
1am, where are you babe?
I haven't seen you for hours now
Where are you cuz I can't think properly
Without you
I need you
I'm coming back home
Because I need to see your face one more time
I feel so desperate, and all alone
6am, I slept in the car
I call the police
Are you near or are you afar?
I drive back home
You're not here
Why are you not here?
I miss you, I need you
Where are you?
Tell me where?
12pm, it's been so many hours
Not that I counted
But 17 hours, 10 minutes and 56 seconds
3pm, we found you
But you're not okay
You went through a car accident
You ruined my day
5pm, in the hospital room
I'm waiting for the doctor to come out
He shakes his head
Absolutely nothing.
Why?
What did I do wrong?
I let her go
She slipped from my fingers
I have faith, I believe
6pm, the doctor comes out
But she's gone
Why is she gone?
Does she have to be gone?
She just can't be gone
I'm crying
Am I crying?
I don't know what to believe
Yesterday we were watching TV
She was laughing
We were smiling
Why is she gone?
I miss her
I want her back
I hate life for doing this to me
I need her
Why is she gone?
What did I do wrong?
I need her
I really need her
1 hour gone by, I'm sitting here like a dork
Remembering those days with her
And I'm screaming like a madman
No one can take me away
She let her final breath out
I watch as they take her away
Why are they taking her away?
She can't be dead!
Why won't she move?
This has to be a prank!
9pm, one thing I know
At least I finally got to see her face
As I watch her go
With a care.

✄╔╗──╔╗─╔╗
✄║╚╗╔╝║─║║
✄╚╗║║╔╩═╣║╔══╦═╗╔══╦╦══╗
✄─║╚╝║╔╗║║║║═╣╔╗╣╔═╬╣╔╗║
✄─╚╗╔╣╔╗║╚╣║═╣║║║╚═╣║╔╗║
✄──╚╝╚╝╚╩═╩══╩╝╚╩══╩╩╝╚╝
background collage


A Bad Poem

Posted By:
hugebear
hugebear
Member since:
February, 2007
Junior Mod
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 25563
I love the title of your poem and how it progresses through the 24 hours and your ending of the story even if the real story had the cliff hanger xD 

___________________________
hugebear from gracie and mia
classicalmusicisepicdonethis for me siggy :love thank you

from classicalmusicisepic for mesiggy


hugebearkeep calm and hug ted


A Bad Poem

Posted By:
ValenciaRose
ValenciaRose
Member since:
April, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Online
Posts: 501

"hugebear" wrote:

I love the title of your poem and how it progresses through the 24 hours and your ending of the story even if the real story had the cliff hanger xD 


Er, thanks Smile Nose I just realised how pathetic this sounded Indifferent I think the story I'm reading as a happy ending so er.. wow.

Um thanks, I'm really not that good at writing poems so er, yeah. That's sweet of you

✄╔╗──╔╗─╔╗
✄║╚╗╔╝║─║║
✄╚╗║║╔╩═╣║╔══╦═╗╔══╦╦══╗
✄─║╚╝║╔╗║║║║═╣╔╗╣╔═╬╣╔╗║
✄─╚╗╔╣╔╗║╚╣║═╣║║║╚═╣║╔╗║
✄──╚╝╚╝╚╩═╩══╩╝╚╩══╩╩╝╚╝
background collage


A Bad Poem

Posted By:
imagination44
imagination44
Member since:
April, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 680
Bad.. pfft....

Blood on my hands but not on my soul
Some day, God willing, I will be whole
And up above
I feel the love
From every star in the sky
I'll never be alone
I will never cry
I'll never be alone
I will never die


A Bad Poem

Posted By:
SOPHlE
SOPHlE
Member since:
April, 2014
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 228
^^ Rude much? Anyway, I love this poem, even though it's depressing. Good job. Just ignore people who most mean comments, they're jealous.


A Bad Poem

Posted By:
ValenciaRose
ValenciaRose
Member since:
April, 2013
StarStarStarStar
Status: Online
Posts: 501

"SOPHlE" wrote:

^^ Rude much? Anyway, I love this poem, even though it's depressing. Good job. Just ignore people who most mean comments, they're jealous.


haha, its okay. Thanks. 

✄╔╗──╔╗─╔╗
✄║╚╗╔╝║─║║
✄╚╗║║╔╩═╣║╔══╦═╗╔══╦╦══╗
✄─║╚╝║╔╗║║║║═╣╔╗╣╔═╬╣╔╗║
✄─╚╗╔╣╔╗║╚╣║═╣║║║╚═╣║╔╗║
✄──╚╝╚╝╚╩═╩══╩╝╚╩══╩╩╝╚╝
background collage


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