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The Outcast - Ch.5

Posted By:
Team Audi #46
Team Audi #46
Member since:
May, 2011
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 5225
Hello. Sorry for the long wait, I had a lot on my plate lately but, I'm back, WHOO! and I gots a new chapter for you guys. Quick little recap, Zero captured Gen. Warren and tortured him to, well, death. He vented his anger on him, leaving him for dead in the warehouse. He talked with his lost friend, Jenesis. He then left to find the team to ask them a question.

Note: All ze characters in The Outcast are mine. Yup. Mine. If you would like to use them, please ask me and I would be happy to give ze "rights", if you will.

Enjoy!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I traveled back the open space in the forest where we had originally met. In the morning daylight, you could clearly see the charred, brunt earth, the brunt smell of tree bark and leaves in the atmosphere of this area.
 
I walked around, looking at the aftermath of what was once a battlefield. You could see where Rizzo landed to ambush Warren, the now hardened metal that was Rizzo’s kusarigams’ chains, where my feet were planted when I did my focus attack, everything that transpire had evidence that sustained it’s existence on the battlefield somewhere.
 
I started looking for footprints that showed where they went. Looked around and caught a group of footprints on the ground that trailed off and abruptly disappeared not too far from it’s start.
 
I had to make the assumption that they went back to their base of operations. I wouldn’t be able to find that no matter how much I looked and used my mask’s capabilities to find it. I had only one option, wait for something to happen in the city to meet up with them.
 
Almost on cue, an explosion erupted in the direction of the city. Smoke later followed the blast and a small shockwave came soon after. This wasn’t good. I rushed toward the city, running as fast as I could toward the location of the explosion, hoping it didn’t involve Prunia and the others in a bad way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 2 is below.

BladeDancer

Beautiful lethality, relentless style


The Outcast - Ch.5

Posted By:
Team Audi #46
Team Audi #46
Member since:
May, 2011
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 5225
Part 2!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was close to where the blast happened. I decided to get to the top of a building to get a better view of the situation. I run up to the business complex building and grabbed for the boarder of the window and plated my feet on the bottom. Then I continued to climb, gripping the crevices and securely planting my feet.
 
It was about 15 stories but it didn’t take me long to climb it. I had climbed buildings and other stuff before so this wasn’t anything new. I finally reached the top of the building. I grabbed the top and pulled myself up. I walked over to the opposite edge to see what was currently happening.
 
It wasn’t what I expected. Prunia and the others looked like they were doing good, Umbra firing energy shots from her hands, Quake rushing the enemy readying for a strike, Rizzo skillfully striking the enemy with his daggers, and Prunia firing ice arrows every millisecond.
 
That what it looked like but when I looked closely I saw the fatigue in they way they were fighting. The untrained eye wouldn’t notice that. I clearly saw it. I magnified my vision on mask and saw everybody’s outfits cut, torn, clearly showing a losing battle. Their bodies were also injured. They all had cuts and bruises covering the surface of their skin. It didn’t look like they would hold out much longer.
 
I knew I would have to do something. I readied myself to jump off when I caught sight of the enemy. An intimidating enemy was definitely what I though of at first sight. He had a white long jacket that went down to his upper calves and came out from its original shape at his upper thighs. It looked like it was starched to stay like that.
 
Under his jacket, he was wearing a dark blue, solid shirt. He had not armor or anything. I wondered just how strong this guy was in truth. On his lower body he had on skinny cargo-like pants, similar to Umbra.
 
He started charging up for an attack. A big one. Purple aura surrounded his body and his hands had the same expect it was a more intense, vibrant purple. I immediately jumped and charged my attack. Smoke with a red highlights were flying off my hands and feet. I felt the power surging throughout my body, letting the excess go through my hands and feet.
 
I looked at the mysterious man again and saw that he was seconds away from expelling his energy. I knew I wasn’t going to make it. I couldn’t make myself go any faster and teleporting now would just set me for failure. Teleporting behind him would just make me dispel all the energy into the teleportation, not really doing anything. None of my attacks would be quick enough to execute that would stop him.
 
Teleporting to a spot that’s in mid-air ceases all the momentum I have. It’s a failsafe that works only in select situations. But I had to adapt it. I just continued to fall. Letting my energy build up and expel through my hands and feet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part 3 is below!

BladeDancer

Beautiful lethality, relentless style


The Outcast - Ch.5

Posted By:
yogurtiscool
yogurtiscool
Member since:
March, 2014
StarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 405

what is this about

yogurt
no alter ego
a made man
peace tom and jerry


The Outcast - Ch.5

Posted By:
Team Audi #46
Team Audi #46
Member since:
May, 2011
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 5225
Part 3!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I looked at him one last time and saw him perform his shot straight at the still recovering heroes. Then it made contact. The heroes flew. They tumbled on the ground, going about 200 feet away from their original location. Then I made contact with the ground. Concrete dust flew up and the ground under me cracked under the immense power.
 
I looked to the side to see if the man was hit. I didn’t see anything. I missed. I stood up and looked around quickly, trying to find my target. Then I felt energy hit my back and I launched 50 feet. On my stomach, I looked up to see the man standing there, his face deadpanned.
 
I pulled my knives, putting them in between each finger. Then I augmented my energy around them, and threw at him. He quickly teleported and popped up in front of my face through a purple haze.
 
He cocked back his foot and tried to punt my face. I teleported a safe distance away from to take everything that happened. Then I looked him in his violet eyes. I saw emptiness. Like there was nothing in his body whatsoever. Like he was shell.
 
Suddenly he charged forward, his body still wrapped in his purple aura. He used quick strikes but failed to hit his target. I bobbed and weaved trying to keep up with his lighting speed. He kept up with consistent punches and threw me off with a swift kick to the legs and focus hit that sent me flying into a building. A rough of my body was imprinted into the side of the building.
 
He teleported in front of me and gripped my head with both of his hands. His hands encased in the same purple aura. I felt a searing pain in my head where his hands were. Almost like my skin was being burned away along with my skull. I yelled in pain trying to get my arms free from the mold they had made in the building.
 
I broke my hands free and shockwaved him back. I pushed myself out of the mold in the building and fired multiple shock-bolts at him. He swiftly dodged them all, practically teleporting from spot to spot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Final Part is Below!!

BladeDancer

Beautiful lethality, relentless style


The Outcast - Ch.5

Posted By:
Team Audi #46
Team Audi #46
Member since:
May, 2011
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 5225
Finale!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He got in my face then disappeared. I looked around, not catching any sight of him at all. Then I turned around. I caught a quick glimpse of his eyes, then his hand enclosed around my neck, picking me up off the ground. He looked into my eyes, his expression still deadpanned, “You are an interesting one. Jo-“was all he could get out before Umbra shot an energy blast at him, sending him flying and releasing his grip of my neck.
 
The rest of the team was slightly recovered and was getting up. The man looked at me than at the team, “I will be back. You will join me. Understand that,” he said, disappearing only leaving his purple mist in his exit.
 
Zero walked over to the team, “Are you guys alright?”
 
“Yeah. For the most part, we are fine,” Prunia answered rubbing her head.
 
“Who was that guy?”
 
“Tarik. Our nemesis. He usual doesn’t come out in broad daylight though. It’s weird,” Umbra answered.
 
“Tarik. It sound like he was trying to recruit me before you shot him.”
 
“Yea. He has been trying to recruit an apprentice for some time. He almost got Prunia,” Rizzo stated.
 
“Like I would let that happen,” Prunia said.
 
Rizzo looked away, “Well he was close,” he said quietly while scratching his head.
 
Prunia stared daggers at him, “Close but, am I with him? No,” Prunia said angrily. Then she looked at Zero, calming down, “What are you doing here anyways. After you took the general, we thought you would have left.”
 
“I never had any intention of leaving. At least, not by my own will. Any-who, I stayed because, well, I wanted to join your team,” Zero stated.
 
Those were the magic words to start his new life. Or start yet another stint in his life that he would regret.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Whoa. Tarik wants Zero to join him. Zero wants to join the team. Are they going to allow him on the team? Will he get recruited by Tarik? Will Prunia betray the team because of suppressed feelings? Looks you're gunna have to wait because I already know. I'm so evil. Devil

Please give feedback and support the story. Thank you!

BladeDancer

Beautiful lethality, relentless style


The Outcast - Ch.5

Posted By:
Team Audi #46
Team Audi #46
Member since:
May, 2011
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 5225

"yogurtiscool" wrote:



what is this about

Well, there's kinda 5 chapters. And this is Chapter 5. You can go back to Chapter 1 and work your up so you can understand the story in it's current time. 

BladeDancer

Beautiful lethality, relentless style


The Outcast - Ch.5

Posted By:
hugebear
hugebear
Member since:
February, 2007
Junior Mod
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Status: Offline
Posts: 25282
[thinks] I dunno where the story will go if Zero doesnt join the team. And I thinks Prunia will do something bad or maybe not? Hmm Im looking forwards to reading the next Chapter Big Grin

Thank you for posting this mate and Im loving the story and how you has written it smile

___________________________
hugebear from gracie and mia
classicalmusicisepicdonethis for me siggy :love thank you

from classicalmusicisepic for mesiggy


hugebearkeep calm and hug ted


The Outcast - Ch.5

Posted By:
Team Audi #46
Team Audi #46
Member since:
May, 2011
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 5225
Thanks Huge! Your support and feedback is always greatly appreciated.  smile

BladeDancer

Beautiful lethality, relentless style


The Outcast - Ch.5

Posted By:
hugebear
hugebear
Member since:
February, 2007
Junior Mod
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 25282

"Team Audi #46" wrote:

Thanks Huge! Your support and feedback is always greatly appreciated.  smile


Your welcome smile  

___________________________
hugebear from gracie and mia
classicalmusicisepicdonethis for me siggy :love thank you

from classicalmusicisepic for mesiggy


hugebearkeep calm and hug ted


The Outcast - Ch.5

Posted By:
Jolly-Rancher206
Jolly-Rancher206
Member since:
March, 2011
StarStarStarStarStar
Status: Offline
Posts: 2633
 Lotta quick fixes here.

"brunt earth, the brunt smell..." You mean burnt, right?

"I decided to get to the top...I run up...and grabbed" Tense issues. You should change run to ran.

“I had climbed buildings and other stuff” How about other structures?


“They all had cuts and bruises covering the surface of their skin.” Could just be nitpicking, but that sounds a bit awkward. I suggest on the skin or you can cut that part out all together.

“An intimidating enemy was definitely what I though of at first sight” I'd write, He struck me as an intimidating enemy at first sight.

“Purple aura surrounded his body and his hands had the same expect it was amore intense, vibrant purple.” What? I think you accidentally omitted something. You're trying to compare his powers to someone else, right...?

"augmented my energy" I know what you're trying to say, but I there are better words. Summoned. Mustered. Magnified. Intensified.

There's some other stuff, but nothing major. The only things I'm seeing are awkward wordings. Don't worry to much about grammatical things until you're done with everything. I think it's easier to be able to examine the work in its entirety.



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