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A story I've been working on...

Celebs cartoon
Posted almost 12 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl
It''s really long, but tell me what you think. I''ve always wanted to write and finish something and maybe get it published, but tell me what you think. Please take the time to read it. By the way, It''s not quite finished yet.

"Lou-Lou! Lou-Lou! Wake up!" Screamed the four year old holy terror, my little sister, Angel. Why did my parents name her Angel? They should have named her Devil. "Go away!" I mumbled back. But nobody calls her Angel. We call her Angie. My parents think it''s a more normal name. "But Lou-Lou! Your boyfriend''s outside!" Angie replied, shaking the life out of me. She wouldn''t let me sleep. Wait a minute. Did she say...my boyfriend? I don''t even have a boyfriend! I put on my slippers, and tied my hair up, and ran downstairs. I opened the door, and ran outside. A guy with combed, gelled, brown hair was standing outside, playing a little tune on his guitar, as he sang "Baby, baby, your so fine, your so fine, you blow my mind!". I roll my eyes. Who is it anyway? "Who are you?" I asked. He smiled. Okay, so maybe he isn''t that bad looking. After all, I did just wake up. I scooted Angie back into the house. "Thats for me to know, and you to find out" He said, with his million dollar smile. So thats who he is. Mr.Mysterious. I can go with that. "Okay then" I say. What else am I supposed to say to a guy who likes me who dosen''t want to tell me his name? "How about I meet you at the beach in an hour?" He asks politely, kissing the top of my hand. Pinch me, I SO must be dreaming. I give him a flirty smile and say "I''ll think about it". BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I open my eyes. That guy..he''s...GONE! It was a DREAM?UGH! "Mom! Dad! Life is not fair!" I scream, running downstairs. I come down to an empty kitchen. There''s a note on the table. It says:

Hey Lou-Lou

Your father and I are at Angel''s school, having a conference with her teacher. You know where the cereal is.

-Mom and Dad.

I looked at the time. 7:30. I had an hour before school. After getting dressed, ate, and applied my make-up xtwice), I went onto my email. I got two emails from my best friend, Rose, and an email from my dorky cousin, Ronald. Ronald wears an ugly red and green vest, and huge glasses. And you know what? His favorite game is to see who can read the Dictionary and the Encyclopedia the fastest. I open up the emails from Rose. The first one says:

To: LouLouxemailxxxx

hi lou lou,
whats up? did u see matt from homeroom yesterday? he was like sooo cute! I think he got a hare cut or some ting. e-male me back!


Rose never actually takes her time to write an email. Her spelling grammer always bugs me. Anyway, next email from Rose:

To: LouLouxemailxxxx
From: MissyRosexemailxxxx

hey again lou

um..did ya finesh the math test yet? I have 3 questons left. Number 6, 8, and 21. plz tell me dem so miss rozer wont kill me


I know she didn''t finish it. She had a sleepover party with a girl from CPR class. You know, nail painting, truth or dare, magazines, hot celebrities, that kinda stuff. Oh well. Great, the email from Ronald:

Greetings, Lou-Lou!

My father has planned for you to come visit me. Gosh, won''t it be fun! And guess what? I just bought two new encyclopedia''s! You know what''s awesome about them? Their three times bigger, for more words! I''ll be picking you up on Saturday, tell your folks!

May the force be with you!

No! This can''t be happening! I look at the time. 8:20. I should probably head out. I grab my backpack, lock the door, and go. I feel my hair around. In a small, tight, bun, with my brown hair. Rose says my hair feels like silk, but I don''t think so. My cellphone rings it''s "Beep, beep, beep, rrriiiinnnngggg, beep, beep, beep, rrriiiinnnngg". I look at it. It''s rose. "Hello?" I say. "Hey Lou-Lou" She replies. "You will never guess the horrible news" I say. "That your going to Ronald''s place on Saturday?" She says. "Yeah, how''d you know?" I ask. "Ronald invited me too. But really, I think he''s kinda cute". Okay, my worst nightmare just came over me. Rose thinks Ronald''s.....CUTE! I dare say it. Usually, I wouldn''t. But I just hung up on her. I kept on walking to school. The phone ringed again. It was Rose. I didn''t pick it up. When I got to school, Rose asked me why I hung up on her. She didn''t like my answer, so she isn''t my friend anymore. Oh well. I''ll live. I can be a loner. No problem, at all. Is it? Anyway, when I got home, Angel was running around screaming "Lou-lou''s got a boyfriend!". I get really confused, then think of my dream. I walk outside. The same guy is out there. I pinch myself as hard as I can. Ouch. "Hey precious" He says. Then I get a good look at him. It''s Nick. The guy who liked me since second grade. "Nick, what do you want?" I asked. "You, of course" He says. I was just about to close the door, when my mother opened it. "Oh, hello there, Nicholas. Your mother told me you were coming" She said. Did I hear about this? No. I gave Nick a nasty glare, then flop on the couch. "You know, Lou-Lou, I can..uh..always leave" He said. I pointed to the door. Uh-oh. His puppy dog face. I roll my eyes, then Nick grins. "Works everytime" He mumbled. "Just leave me alone. I have bigger problems to worry about than you" I said, stomping upstairs. Okay, so I hate being a loner. But, did I really want to hang out with Nick? No. NO WAY. As usual, I turn around and Nick''s following me. I shut my door, and lock it. "Lou-Lou Roxanne Belder, open that door right now!" My mother screamed. I hate Nick so much right now. I unlock it, and let him and his ''wonderous smells'' in my nice, neat, good-smelling room. "So, do you wanna see our science project?" Nick asked. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I was put with Nick to do a science project. Could my life get any worse? Just then, a beep came from my computer. It was an IM from Rose. Wait a minute, from rose? Yes!

MissyRose: hi lou-lou
LouLou: Hey rose, I can''t believe your talking to me!
MissyRose: Is that a bad thing?
LouLou: No, but i''ll tell you what''s a bad thing
MissyRose: What?
LouLou: Nick''s in my room, and now he has to stay with me, or else i''ll probably get grounded
MissyRose: Eww! Nick? Icky Nick?
LouLou: Sadly, yes
MissyRose: Would your mom mind if I came over too?
LouLou: No clue. I''ll ask.

"MOM!" I called from my room. My mom peered in the door. "Can Rose come over?" I ask. "Oh, of course, sweetheart" My mom says, then leaves the room. I go back on the computer. "Lou-Lou, I thought only me and you were going to be here" Nick whined. "Chill Nick, it''s only Rose" I said.

LouLou: Yeah, you can come over
MissyRose: Great, but i''ll be there in like, an hour. I have to drop off my brother Jason to soccer practice, then my sister Lisa to ballet, then my older brother Adrian to knitting club, then to your house
LouLou: Adrian? Knitting club? Haha
MissyRose: I''m serious. He takes knitting club every Tuesday and Wednesday
LouLou: Thats kinda..strange
MissyRose: I know. Thats why he loses girls alot. But some girls think a guy knitting is ''cool'' haha
LouLou: Haha
MissyRose: So..see you in a bit..??
LouLou: Definitely! See ya

I got off my computer, and remembered Nick was still there. He was admiring our science project......on worms. We have three worms. They''re named Mary, Fairy, and Larry. What stupid names. But of course, I didn''t name them. Icky Nick over here did. "Rose is coming over, just to warn you. But put away our project" I said. "Anything for you" Nick said. I roll my eyes, and turn on my TV. Once again, nothing''s on, so I turn it off and go downstairs. Nick follows along behind me like a lost puppy. "Mom, Rose is going to be over in an hour. Tell her i''ll be at the beach" I say, and walk out the door. Nick was still behind me. "Nick! Go home, okay? Just leave me alone!" I exclxxx. "Okay, my love, but I will be back" He replies, and walks down the street. "I hope not" I mumble, and walk down the street to the beach. It''s a pretty nice place if it isn''t too busy. I take off my shirt and jeans, showing my Black and red striped bikini. I''m always prepared. I sit on the hot sand for a while, then Rose comes and walks over to me. She''s already wearing her dark bikini. "I heard something on the way here i''ll think you''ll like" She said. I looked at her suxxxxiously. "What?" I ask. "Justin said he thought you were cute" Rose said. By the way, Justin is THE hottest guy ever. Hey, don''t get any ideas, he''s mine. "Justin?" I ask, almost squealing. "Yeah?" I hear a voice behind me say. Oh my gosh, wait a minute. I stand up, looking into his eyes. "Nothing. Uh...we were just talking about the football game last night. Great job" I lied. What was I supposed to say? "Oh, thanks. See you later" Justin says, and walks off with his friends. I fell onto the sand in happiness. "Lou-Lou? I''m going to swim, want to come?" Rose offers, getting up. I nod and run into the water. Freezing. Aboxxxxely freezing. I get cold for a minute, but then I see Justin swimming around, showing off with his friends. He looks at me and grins. Me and Rose stay at the beach for three hours, then stay at my house for a sleepover. It''s finally Saturday, and I''m going to Ronald''s house. I roll my eyes just thinking of all the dumb and useless things that Ronald is going to tell me. At least Rose is going to be there. I woke up and went onto my email. I got one from Rose, and a junk email. The one from Rose said:

To: LouLouxemailxxxx
From: MissyRosexemailxxxx

hey lou, wats up? todays the day we see ur dorky cosin. justin called me last night lookin 4 u, he thought u were at my house. i gave him ur email, so take ur dad''s laptop to ron''s house, k? wat did you get on mrs.rozer''s test? i got a c+ and thats g00d, right? talk 2 u later

The junk email said:

To: LouLouxemailxxxx
From: FreeDonutsxfreecouponsxxxx

Hey! Did you know that if you go to xxx.freecouponsxxxx that you''ll get free Krispy Kreme donuts? Well, you do! Limited time offer!

I clicked out of her email, and packed everything to go to Ron''s house. "Dad!" I called, running across the hall to his bedroom. "Yes, honey?" He asked. "Can I take your lap-top to Ron''s house?" Asked Lou-Lou. "Alright, but charge it if you need to. You''ll ruin it if you don''t charge it when it needs to be charged, okay?" Her dad said. "Okay" I said, stuffing the lap-top into my backpack. There was a beep beep outside. My family and me ran outside to see Ronald and his family. Their parents went and talked to each other. Rose was already in the car. "Hey, did you get your dad''s laptop?" Asked Rose. "Yep. The more to email Justin with!" I replied, climbing into the car. Angel, Dad, and Mom gave me a kiss on the cheek. They waved good-bye and off the car went. "Greetings, Lou-lou. How are you doing?" Ronald asked, lifting his glasses up his nose with his finger. "Fine" I replied, opening my dad''s laptop. I clicked onto a chatting website. Kids from my school chatted in there. There was Stephanie, a really prissy girl, and her friends Ariel, and Maria. "Hey-can I chat too?" Asked Ronald, going onto his own laptop.

CoolSteph: Hey guys, look who just loggged on!
Ariel-In-The-Club: Yeah, the loser squad
Maria4Ever: Wait, who''s the guy?
LouLou: Would you guys get a life?
MissyRose: Yeah. By the way, it''s her cousin
Maria4Ever: With a name like Ronald, i''m guessing it''s a dork! Haha
CoolSteph: Haha, nice one
Ariel-In-The-Club: Haha, thats SO funny
CoolSteph: Not that funny, Ariel
Ronald-Has-The-Force: Laugh all you want, girls. But all you are is a bunch of lip gloss loving, pretty boy dreaming, snotty freaks. Leave my cousin and her friend alone, or i''ll call the police. It''s called Bullying.
CoolSteph: Who cares?
Ronald-Has-The-Force: If you bully kids and police get told about it, you would have to do community service
Ariel-In-The-Club: Whats that mean?
CoolSteph: It means we have to touch people''s garbage, you idiot. C''mon guys, lets go to a diffrent room
Maria4Ever: You mean the one with that new, hot guy, Kyle?
CoolSteph: Yes. Good-bye, losers of America!
xCoolSteph Logged Off)
xMaria4Ever Logged Off)
xAriel-In-The-Club Logged Off)
LouLou: Thank god their gone
MissyRose: Yeah. If they would have said one more thing, they would have had to ''touch'' people''s garbage for weeks!
Ronald-Has-The-Force: Well, you see, I made it up. I knew girls like them would freak out if even one speck of dirt or any kind of crud touched them
LouLou: Smart one, Ron

They all logged off, and started talking about Stephanie, Maria, and Ariel. "Speaking of Stephanie, I hear she''s going on vacation to the same place we live! Isn''t that great?" Ronald''s mother announced. The three of them exchanged scared faces. "Hehe, thanks Mom" Ronald replied. Once they arrived, Rose and me picked a room together. "Make yourselves at home, girls. I''ll be downstairs if you need me" Ronald''s mom, Mrs. Markson, said. I nodded my head, and heaved my suitcase and backpack on my bed. Rose set her lap-top beside mine on the desk. "Should we go scope out cute guys?" Rose asked. "Yeah. This is Hawaii, you know. Cutest, hottest, nicest guys on earth were born here," I exclxxxed. "But what should we wear?" I asked. Rose searched through my suitcase and picked out a small, jean mini-skirt with a pink tank-top that said ''Rock-Star'' in brighty, sparkly letters. I put it on, and looked gorgeous. Rose put on an army designed mini-skirt, and a green tank-top that said ''GAP'' on it in big, black letters in the middle of the shirt. "Yo Ron, were going to the beach" I said, hoping he wouldn''t ask to come. "Okay" He said quietly. I peeked in the room, and he was reading a PLAYBOY magazine. "Ohh, Ron. Thats why you don''t want to come" Rose said, taking the magazine from his hands. "Actually, it''s not mine. The most popular boy in school, David, dropped it and so I was reading through it. Through human research, I can see that boys read it because they like looking at girls" Ronald explained. "Duh!" Me and Rose said at the same time, and walked out of the front door with our polka-dotted flip-flops. We walked to the beach, and we laid down on the sand. I started to fall asleep with my hat over my eyes, until someone tripped over me. My hat fell off as I sat up. "Who was that?" I demanded. A guy with dark, brown hair and bright, blue eyes had a guilty face. "Uh, sorry miss" The guy said sweetly. Even though he was pretty cute, he bruised my leg, so I wasn''t going to be nice. "Yeah, yeah, it''s alright" I mumbled. When he was gone, Rose asked what I was doing. "Didn''t you see your future boyfriend there?" Rose demanded. "Yeah, but he bruised my leg" I snapped back. Rose rolled her eyes. Thats what I didn''t like about her. Boys, lip gloss, and fashion was all that she thought about. Even though I care about that too, I cared about other things. I walked back to Ron''s house, and left Rose behind. I needed to be alone. When I got there, I logged onto my laptop. My jaw dropped immedietly. It was an email from Justin. I just couldn''t open it yet. Not until Rose got back. So I waited and waited, and Rose never showed. I walked back to the beach, and there was the guy who bruised my leg, and Rose sitting together on the sand, smiling and laughing. "Rose! We have to go back to Ron''s house" I said. Rose kissed the guy on the cheek and said "See you later, Tyler". "Bye, my love" Tyler replied back. After we got back to Ron''s house, and asked her what was that. "Well, you see, when you left, I thought a good hottie like that couldn''t resist someone like me. Now he''s my boyfriend" Rose explained. "Nice to know. But guess what? Justin emailed me!" I exclxxxed. "Who?" Rose asked, twisting her hair. "Justin Gronsfield. My crush. The total hottie" I explained. "Oh, him. Cool" Rose said boredly. Why did I suddenly have this funny feeling that the Tyler guy was going to ruin Rose''s whole vacation? It was the next morning, and I figured I should just open the email from Justin. It said:

To: LouLouxemailxxxx
From: BadBoy123xemailxxxx

yo lou-lou whats up?

I heard your at your cousin''s place dorky cousin actually and I''m actually going to be in the same place you are so if rose dosen''t mind maybe we can hang out when i get there?


Okay, I was totally freaking out. I got an email from justin, and then he wants me to hang out with him! HANG OUT! I turned to Rose who was day dreaming. "Rose..you have to read this email from Justin!" I exclxxxed. "Lou-lou, I don''t care about the stupid email from Justin!" Rose exclxxxed, then stopped. That did it. "Lou-lou, I didn''t mean that, I mean, I''m so sorry and-" Rose started. "No, go off with Tyler or something" I replied. I ran to the beach and started crying. "Lou-lou, you okay?" Asked a voice she knew. It was Justin. "No" I mumbled and sniffled. Justin sat down beside me. I looked at him, and wiped away a tear going down my cheek. "I''m having a really bad day Justin, and well..I got the email from you.." Lou-lou started, but then stopped. She can''t tell him you really like him. "Yeah?" Asked Justin. "And, I told Rose and, well, she said she didn''t care and that she only cares about her boyfriend, Tyler. Then I ran here and well..cried" I explained. I know I lied. But I decided not to tell Justin that I liked him. "Sorry to here that, Lou-lou" He said nicely. He was being so nice to me.

So..what do you think so far?

R.I.P- Boots 2005-2006. You''ve been a great cat, Boots and I really love you. Good bye.

Posted almost 12 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl
Posts: 1465

Thats good.
I liked the IM parts.
Good Job


Posted almost 12 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl
Thankies Gwathie! Do you remember me? You didn''t come to my post yesterday. Wackyone got it banned, but whatever. Hi and thank you again.

R.I.P- Boots 2005-2006. You''ve been a great cat, Boots and I really love you. Good bye.

Posted almost 12 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl
It''s all right.

Harry Potter is my life, and that is all i have to say.


She''s beautiful, but she doesn''t mean a thing to me.

Posted almost 12 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl
Posts: 168

i liked it


[][] help Funny-Bunny gain world domination! lol
if you think Funny-Bunny is cute, and want em in your sig, feel free to copy and paste em in your sig!


Posted almost 12 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl
Posts: 225

This makes me feel good that I''m not the only person who posts their dream story on here. I posted mine on here too. I would love to be a writer someday. Your story was great. Not my kinda stuff to read but if this ever got published I would be the first to but it.

My dream is to be a writer! My role models are Eoin Colfer, J.K. Rowling, Christopher Paloni and Daniel Handler [Lemony Snicket.] I write storys for fun and think it''s great! I love to write! Writing is my life. When I have a bad day I''ll go home and lose myself in a book that I am writing or a book that someone else has wrote. My imagination is so wide and in order to make room for the so called "important stuff" like math, history and science [LOL] I have to write down my story''s on paper. Remember to always follow your dreams and maybe just maybe if you try hard enough they could come true!
Read my posts on here called "Dayz in a nutshell! Tell me what you think!!", "Dayz: Book 2" and "A new story I am writing!" Tell me what ya'' think! And there is also a story where you can add on to called "A story you can add on to." Check it out!

Posted almost 12 years ago

Posted By:

Default girl
Okay, thank you! And I hope you become your dream of being a writer too, HogwartsGirl!

R.I.P- Boots 2005-2006. You''ve been a great cat, Boots and I really love you. Good bye.

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