Story-Writing♥

Posted By:

KenziiSoSweet
Member since:
March, 2011

Status: Offline
Posts: 939

Just Started This..Please Be Patient With Me. I'm Trying My Best With Writing Better.. Someone In The Dark July 4, 2009 "Oh My Gosh Natalie. The Fireworks Are Beautiful", My Best-Friend Stasi Said. "I Know, This Is Gorgeous." We Were Walking In The North Trail Forest, And Yes, At Night. Sorry, My Name Is Natalie Jessica Smith. I Am 18 Years Young. I Have Long Jet Black & Blue Hair With Gray Eyes & Caramel Skin. I Love Wearing Black, Gray, Purple, & Royal Blue. Call Me Emo. I Don't Care. I Live With My Dad, Brother (Jarrel) & My Sister (Aaliyah). My Mom Was An Alcoholic & She Died 3 Days Before Christmas. The Only Person Who Is There For Me Is Stasi. She Was My Best Friend Since Pre-K. I Love Her To Bits & Pieces. Me & Stasi Were Walking The Dirt Trail And I Hear Something Pass Us By. "Did You Hear That?" Stasi Stops Walking & Looks At Me Like I'm Dumb. "Girl Hear What? You're Crazy." I Scoff & Roll My Eyes. I Hear Branches, Sticks, & Leaves Rumbling In The Backdrop. "There It Is Again!" "Nat, You're IMAGINING THINGS. Get Over It." Then A Tall, Slim Figure Appears In Front Of Us. We Both Gasp. The Wind Picks Up Speed. It Starts Raining, Heavily. What The Hell? My Clothes Are Drenched. A Soft But Manly Voice Speaks,"Hello Ladies." Out Of Nowhere, I See A Lightning Flash. The Light From The Flash Shows His Face. He's...He's...Beautiful. His Hair Frames His Face So Perfectly. His Hair Is Long & Curly. His Caramel Complexion Is Smooth. His Light Brown Eyes Are Burning A Hole Through Me. Then He Speaks, "What Are You Doing In The Forest In The Middle Of The Night?" "What's It To You? Creep." I Swear, Stasi Is So Rude At Times. I Guess I Will Try To Smooth Things Out. "S-She D-Doesn't Mean I-It." He Walks To Me, Slowly. "I'm Pretty Sure She Means It. Do You?" I Don't Get It. Mean What? He Is In My Face Now. His Stare Is Intense. I Look Down. He Lifts My Head Up With His Finger. He Leans In Slowly. I Catch My Breath. Next Thing I Know, He Kisses Me Softly. I Respond By Kissing Him Back. We Pull Away. I Look Down Again. What Did I Just Do? It's Like He Hypnotized Me, Paralyzed Me. I Don't Even Know His Name. He Backs Away Into The Cold Rain, Thunder, & Lightning. I Blink. My Eyes Rolled To The Back Of My Head. I AM Paralyzed. Just When I Think All Things Are All Going Bad, They Get WORSE. Everything Goes Black & I Fall To The Ground.

Tears don't mean you're losing. Everybody's bruising. It's okay not to be okay. ♥

Story-Writing♥

Posted By:

OnceForgotten
Member since:
January, 2007

Status: Offline
Posts: 2489

I like it. But here are thinks you should fix and improve on: You don't have to capitalize every first letter When writing a story you do this 'and' not the symbol for and. When writing numbers you write it in words not typed as a number, example: [wrong] 4/ [right] four. But other than that pretty good ^-^

Story-Writing♥

Posted By:

KenziiSoSweet
Member since:
March, 2011

Status: Offline
Posts: 939

"OnceForgotten" wrote:
I like it. But here are thinks you should fix and improve on: You don't have to capitalize every first letter When writing a story you do this 'and' not the symbol for and. When writing numbers you write it in words not typed as a number, example: [wrong] 4/ [right] four. But other than that pretty good ^-^

Thanks.

Tears don't mean you're losing. Everybody's bruising. It's okay not to be okay. ♥

Story-Writing♥

Posted By:

OnceForgotten
Member since:
January, 2007

Status: Offline
Posts: 2489

Please write more too. I need entertainment XD

Story-Writing♥

Posted By:

KenziiSoSweet
Member since:
March, 2011

Status: Offline
Posts: 939

"OnceForgotten" wrote:
Please write more too. I need entertainment XD

Haha xD I Will. I Working On The Second One.. It Will Be Up In A Min..

Tears don't mean you're losing. Everybody's bruising. It's okay not to be okay. ♥

Story-Writing♥

Posted By:

OnceForgotten
Member since:
January, 2007

Status: Offline
Posts: 2489

Yay ^-^

Story-Writing♥

Posted By:

KenziiSoSweet
Member since:
March, 2011

Status: Offline
Posts: 939

Here You Go ^_^ Chapter Two: A Dangerous Creature July 5, 2009 I wake up, and all I see is white light. Everything's blurry. I see people hovering over me, yelling. I am moving. Where am I? I see doctors, my dad, and, Stasi. I believe I'm in a hospital, on a gernie. "Is my babygirl alive", my dad asked. "Possibly, Mr. Smith. Possibly", the doctor said. "Possibly? What the hell do you mean by possibly? This is my daughter we're talking about. I love and miss her. I haven't been there for her and now, she could be gone forever." Is that how he really feels? If it is, I never really knew. The doctors' wheeled me into a room and started to put oxygen in my lungs. The machine that showed your heart rate started beeping rapidly. "She survived. She is ALIVE." My father started crying hysterically. "Thank you SO much. For bringing my little girl back in the world. Thank you." They all left the room. I started to wake up, from what it felt like, a deep, painful sleep. I looked at the celing, and sighed. "What a night", I thought. I look out the window, and it is still raining. It's so dark and gloomy outside. BOOM! The lightning and thunder scared the living hell out of me. I notice a dark, tall silhoette, standing across the street. Another crack of lightning rips across the sky. I can see his face. OH MY GOD! It's the guy from last night. He stares at me blankly, and then, he blows a kiss. My heart is racing. He smiles devilishly and vanishes in the darkness. Damn it.There is a knock on my door. "Come in." No one comes through the door. I stare at the door. Still, no one enters. I sigh and close my eyes. I open my eyes. WHAT IN THE HELL?!? There "He" stands. "What are you doing in here? Most importantly, HOW did you get in here?" "Some questions, don't have answers, sweetie."

Tears don't mean you're losing. Everybody's bruising. It's okay not to be okay. ♥