I take a deep breath, take one last look in the mirror, and begin down the isle with my father." You look beautiful,Kiyomi," he wispers. I try to say "thank you" but get tounge tied. My fiance is handsome in his white tux, my dress being, wewere never ones to follow the usual expectations. My dress was long and flowy, its sleves going down to my feat and runing against the ground.It was a small,peaceful wedding, untill the first gun was shot, killing my fiance, Chris, thenext killing me. He was handsome,his black pants, shirt, and hair, pale skin, and blood red eyes.his blood thirsty smile gave me chills. "So you're one of us," he says.

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(Not part of story) please ignore spelling and grammer mistakes

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"What do you mean," I ask. "you're aura,it's all these colors that signify a tourtured,dark soul. Though, you're fiance was quite the opposite, he'll make a great angel," he replys. "So, what are you, and I or the 'we' you talked about,"I ask. "We are Reapers,we are the #1 enemys of the angels, they the#1 enemy of us," he replys, "decpite popular belife by the people who have seen us, we are not dark angels." I look at his features once more,well built, cold hard face( only breakingfor his blood thirsty smile), messy short black hair. " I'm glad you didn't marry him," he said sudenly," one, it would make things more complicated. Two you're name fits you well; kiyomi means true beauty, you know". "No, I didn't but thatsa huge compliment, thank you," my face heatsup a little as I say this, I'm blushing. He gives a smile " you're welcome" he says, "oh no, we need to leave now, or else". He picks me up; one arm under my knees, the other under my upper back, my head restingon his sholder; flaps his wingsand takes off. The world I knew was quickly falling away from me under our feet.

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Ok, two major mistakes. 1. Her dress was black. 2. Kiyomi means pure beauty, not true beauty

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"We're here" he whispers inmy ear.I wake upan smile. I look up at him, it was so easy to fall asleap in his arms he has a pleasnt, soothin preasance, and his body hea made me go out like a light. He smiles down at me and instrcts me to look around and streach, and informs me we'll be sharing a room with one bed."But it isn't right, he may be an angel, but he's still my fian-" he cuts me off with a kiss, it feels like there's a million butterflys in mystoumach. " Now I'll sleep on the floor if you want me to" he says in a voice that was suposed to covince me, and it worked. "You can sleepin the bed with me but you make one inopropriate move or comment your on the floor" he gae me a develish smile when I said this. "My name is Lucas,incase you were wondering. Its time for you to be reveiwed for placement. Since I was assigned to get you, I will be your mentor, teacher, and partner, since I don't currentlyhave a partner". He lead me to a big room and instucted me to bow. I had noticed that the whole placehad been madof rigid stone, with expencive looking red and gold furnitre."who is this" a voice bellowed. "She is a woman who was just reaped, she had the perfect aura and age, so my mentor had taught me to take men and women like her to you, master" Lucas replyed in asolid, yet soft voice."Her name"the voice bellowed back. "Kiyomi, master" Lucas replyed. " Give her wings, she will be given one year to get used to the lifestyle and transform into a Reaper. now, take her away to your room. You will be wed in a year, also"the voice bellowed. " Yes, master" Lucas said, they both wore sinister smiles as this happened, I'm guessing regaurding our wedding. Lucas led me back to our roomand ploped onto the bed, I laid down next tohim. He pulled me closer andkissed me. "This isn't inapropriate now that we're fiances, is it" he wispered in my ear, his lips move frommy ear to my lips. He didn't want an answer, he wanted me.

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Once he stoped kissing me he held fast to me. The plesant atmosphere returned and I went into a deep sleep. When I woke in the morning Lucas was changing into what looked like sweats. I came up behind him and huged him"are any clothes here not black" I ask. "No" he says,"why are you in such a good mood". "I'm in a good mood becase I gave up on the idea of me and Chris, so I almost must love you, when in reallity I only lust you". He turns and puts his hands on my waist. He is only wearing pants and shoes. He has a six pack and is more handsome in the candle light. I put my hands around his neck, this time I pull him in closer and kiss him for what seems like at least five min.he moes his lipsand whispers in my ear " I love you". I whisper back "I l-" then my stomach growls. Lucas laughes loudly and says"looks like someones hungry, come with me". He leads me down a corridor to a huge dining hall, the only food there was pomagranit seeds. "The food of the dead" I whisper to myself. But Lucas hears me "Yes, we're dead. The food Hades tricked his wife into eating to force her to stay in the under world, in greek mythology. We must eat it though" . I eat much more than Lucas to substain my hunger.

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please write constructivee critisism or somthing when u read the storys so i know wat i need to do to better them   

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“You’re growing fast” he says, “Maybe we can marry sooner”.  He leads me to a mirror, I see my wings, they are tiny compared to Lucas’ and when I felt the wings it was a soft down feather. I look in the mirror again and see blood red irises looking as if it was spreading from the pupil, engulfing my hazel eyes. The black hair spreading from the roots, almost done spreading over my long, brown hair. My tan quickly fading, even now as I look in the mirror, I’m growing pale. “You’ll get used to it,” he says, “I used to have blond hair, green eyes and a tan; now look at me, I’m the complete opposite. I’m blood thirsty, black hair, red eyes, and pale… I was what my name meant, light. I could put a smile on anyone’s face, and now people cower from me. I don’t even know how I had the aura for being a Reaper; I should have been an angel”. I see him begin to cry “so the dead can cry,” I say. He gives me a dirty look and says “no, only reapers; the angels don’t have a reason to. They have real food, nice clothes made of silk, and they don’t have to see and carry the dead souls, they help living souls,” he punches the stone walls and it crumbles, “at least your fiancé will be happy”. “You are my fiancé now,” I say and kiss him. “It’s obvious you love him, you’re forced to marry and love me. It’s not real” he says. “So you’re calling this fake” I say and kiss him I move my lips from his lips to his ear and whisper “I love you”. He leads me back to the room and I sleep some more and finally ask, “When can I change out of this”. “There’s some clothes in the closet,” he points to a door near the mirror he just got for us. I open the door and look inside. A room as big as where we sleep was filled with black clothes. I step inside and close the door as I say “I’ll just be a second”. I chose a tank top, shorts, and a jacket. I find some socks and tennis shoes and tried to open the door. “Lucas,” I cried, “help me please".

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