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Makeup, Prettiness, and Bullies

Posted By:
-Happy Never After-
-Happy Never After-
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May 2012
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Posts: 502
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Posted about 4 years ago
Working on chapter 2!!!!!!!!

Posted By:
-Happy Never After-
-Happy Never After-
Member since:
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Posts: 502
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Posted about 4 years ago
                    Chapter 2:  Attack of the Bullies                When the bus pulled up to the school, I got off. My sister and I walked into the school and got in line to find out our schedules, lockers, and homeroom assignments.        After I got them, I went straight to locker 52. I unloaded all my school supplies and put them in my locker, took what I needed for first period, shut the door, and put my lock on the locker. After, I walked straight to math. The first thing I saw was Ally. Oh no….         My math teacher handed out our books and for the next 50 minutes she blabbed on and on about how 6th grade math was fun (Yeah right).         I could hear the three girls behind me whispering. The only words I heard was: ugly, Molly, and dog. Even though I heard just those words, I knew they were talking about me. I could feel tears come to my eyes, but I just blinked them away.         After math class, I went back to my locker. I saw a folded up piece of line paper fall out of my locker when I opened it. I opened the note and it read: “Ugly dog girl.” I crumpled up the piece of paper and threw it in the nearest trash can.        By lunch time I was close to tears. I lined up in the lunch line and after I got my lunch, someone tripped me. I fell and dropped my lunch. When I lifted my head up, saw the Triple Trouble (My new name for Ally, Brielle, and Lily) group laughing, along with the rest of the people in the cafeteria.         I could feel tears fall down my cheeks. When I started picking up the mess of food, a girl that I thought was in my classes helped pick it up. “Hi, I’m Courtney,” said the girl, “I saw what happened, those girls are the popular kids that ruled Helen Keller Elementary last year. Now they have decided to rule the school this year too.”         “Hi, I’m Molly. I know. They have been torturing me all day. They keep calling me a dog, because of my name,” I said.         After Courtney and I picked up the mess and I got a new lunch, we talked all the way to a table. I finally have a friend.  ~ Sorry for such a short chapter.

Posted By:
Crafty-Girl11
Crafty-Girl11
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November 2012
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Posted about 4 years ago
I think u r off to a good start, but in the first paragraph u mention something about bullying. I say focus a little more on that, or take that sentence out of the paragraph and put it somewhere else.

I'll make a better signature when I have time. Smile Nose


Posted By:
-Happy Never After-
-Happy Never After-
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Posted about 4 years ago

"Crafty-Girl11" wrote:

I think u r off to a good start, but in the first paragraph u mention something about bullying. I say focus a little more on that, or take that sentence out of the paragraph and put it somewhere else.
That sentence was just a hint of what is going to happen later in the story (which is foreshadowing). In the second chapter that I just posted, she starts to get bullied.

Posted By:
-Happy Never After-
-Happy Never After-
Member since:
May 2012
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Posts: 502
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Posted about 4 years ago
Just begun chapter 3!!!

Posted By:
RawrSkittles=)
RawrSkittles=)
Member since:
July 2011
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Posts: 14863
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Posted about 4 years ago

"-Happy Never After-" wrote:

"RawrSkittles=)" wrote:

OMG. I can relate to this story. smile
That is what I was trying to do. I wanted the story to relate to real life.
Then... GOOD JOB! Big Grin


Posted By:
-Happy Never After-
-Happy Never After-
Member since:
May 2012
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Posts: 502
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Posted about 4 years ago

"RawrSkittles=)" wrote:

"-Happy Never After-" wrote:

"RawrSkittles=)" wrote:

OMG. I can relate to this story. smile
That is what I was trying to do. I wanted the story to relate to real life.
Then... GOOD JOB! Big Grin
xD

Posted By:
Merpin
Merpin
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November 2012
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Posted about 4 years ago
Seems good so far Big Grin I like that this story is coming from the POV of a kid c:.

Don't think the world will change if you choose to stay the same.


Posted By:
Vanessa Shay
Vanessa Shay
Member since:
June 2012
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Posts: 44
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Posted about 4 years ago
Continue this! I wanna read more!

A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words.


Posted By:
HeadPhones-
HeadPhones-
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July 2011
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Posts: 3108
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Posted about 4 years ago
I love this story!!!!!!


ıllıllı ιт's ∂αяк sσ үσυ cαη sεε тнε ℓιgнт αη∂ ιт's нαя∂ sσ үσυ cαη кησω ιт's яιgнт αη∂ яαιη ησтнιηg εvεя gяσωs ωιтнσυт үσυ αη∂ нυят ιs נυsт α cнαηcε тσ нεαℓ αη∂ тεαяs αяε נυsт α cαℓℓ тσ ғεεℓ αη∂ ραιη вεαυтү's נυsт α ωσя∂ ωιтнσυт үσυ вεαυтү's נυsт α ωσя∂ ωιтнσυт үσυ ıllıllı


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