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Part of a story i'm doing

Posted By:
classicalmusicisepic
classicalmusicisepic
Member since:
April 2012
Status:
Offline

Posts: 4852
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Posted about 4 years ago
So this is for a competition, and I want honest feedback. The topic is supposed to be "Under The Sea" So uh. Yeah. Atlanta was the odd one out. The loner. She didn’t care, she preferred her own company anyway. She had been brought up in an orphanage and apparently was found in a small, worn shoe box, only a few weeks old. She loved being near the sea and swimming. She could even stay underwater for half an hour without having to come back up. She adored the ocean, and went every day, and you would often find her for hours standing at the cliff watching the wave’s crash against eachother.  Meanwhile, in the depths of the deep ocean nearby, Neptune, King of the Sea, was thinking about his daughter. “Pascal, the war between the two nations is over. I must find my daughter.” He told his trusty messenger Pascal. Pascal was an old, small fish, who liked the quiet life. “But how shall we find her? There are hundreds of young girls here, and what if she has moved from the mainland Your Majesty?” He asked. “I would know if she left. I know I would...Feel it somehow.” He retorted. Pascal sighed. “What shall I do, your Majesty?”  To Be Continued


Posted By:
Super-Girl16
Super-Girl16
Member since:
December 2011
Status:
Offline

Posts: 2909
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Posted about 4 years ago
Up to this part, it's pretty interesting. 

Window snap.
Let the storm rage on.♥


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