"Jasper, it's perfectly normal to want to do that... I'm the abnormal one. I'm the one who's afraid to do it. I mean, who else is afraid of doing it except me? You're normal love. I don't want you to change. I love you the way you are."
I kissed his cheek, then his lips.

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I shrugged "I guess I was once scared" I admitted "and no, theres nothing wrong with you" I smiled, not mentioning me this time kissing her back softly and carefully, cupping her face with one cautious hand. I loved her so much.... to think of all those times I stood there and watched as others hurt her made me want to retch. But I just returned to the moment, and the gentle feeling of her soft lips against mine.

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"I don't want to be scarred anymore..."
I made the kiss more passionet, frenching him. 
Dont mess up... Don't mess up Grace.
I moved my one hand down his chest, the other ran through his hair. I started kissing his neck, my hand slowly inching down his chest to his stomach. I tried to hide my fear, but me shaking wasn't helping.

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I took a hold of her hand and regrettfully pulled away slightly from the kiss. My sub concious screamed at me, this is what I wanted and I was hesitating!? "Grace don't do anything you don't want to" I whispered, my face millimeters from hers as I stroked her hair, trying to calm her shaking, wanting her to be happy.

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"Jasper,"
I cupped his face in my hand.
"I want to."
I bit his bottom lip playfully. My voice was a whisper.
No you don't. You're only doing it to make him happy... Yes you do, you know you want to... No you don't... Yes you do... No, yes, no yes...
I had an internal conflict in my head as I kissed him. I took of my hoodie, leaving me in only a cami before I stole his hovering position, and continued kissing him.

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Oh god.... okay now, I didn't know what to do. She was here. On top of me. And telling me she wanted what I wanted. But I couldn't escape the feeling that this wasnt what she wanted, that she wasnt happy and that was all I wanted. I had only done what I did before because I wanted to make her happy, not me. Oh well... that voice in the back of my mind chuckled as my hands ran from her neck to her waist and stayed there as I pulled her closer. No that wasnt me... I couldn't do this.... I thought but it was more a question than a fact. I knew that much. For I didn't push her away, only pull her closer.

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I giggled, bitting my bottom lip with a smile. I fluttered my eye lashes at him, my eyes full of innocents, then began kissing his, slowly making my way down his chest. It all came... Naturally, I guess. It wasn't until I got closer to his navel that I started freaking out in my head. 
What if I mess up, or do something I'm not suppose to... I don't know what to do, or how to do it... 
I begged in my head that before I got to close, he'd take the lead, just to give me a little idea on what to do.

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(Switch to comments or skip?# I sat up carefully and tugged her face back to mine insistantly. I kissed her harshly yet still lovingly as I laid her back on the pillows at the bottom of her bed, playing with the bows on the rest of her outfit. My lips then went to her jaw as I fiddled with various knots, all the while mumbling under my breath how much I loved her, how gorgeous she was as my hands finally de tangled the ribbon and I moved my hands to her hair, kissing the soft skin beneath her ear.

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