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Posted about 5 years ago

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Now this is a problem which has been bugging me for months now and I've been reading about this on websites like How and Ask.

So about 6 days ago I was talking to my best friend Zack and we were having a normal friendly conversation about life and anime because yeah we both love anime. We started talking about anime characters and how ridiculously cute a majority of them are, Which I'm not gonna lie because they really are cute. We randomly started to talk about anime boys and then out of the blue he asked me if I found anime girls and girls in general attractive, I froze for a little while, I randomly started shaking and he gave me this weird kinda confused look which I can't really describe (Oh and this was on cam if you're all confused as I'm from the UK and he's from the USA). Anyway, He looked at me and smiled and said "Take a deep breath lil cub it's okay" and I honestly nearly burst into tears at that point because I was scared of what he might think.

I guess you can say I'm questioning my orientation and all of this at the moment, I've even cried at night because of my confusion, I just don't know what to do with myself. I've read in a forum that anime can actually make straight people gay and can also turn gay people straight, It's actually quite common. Zack said that before he started watching anime he was straight but then over the years he found out he was actually bisexual and he is now in a happy relationship with his boyfriend.

Zack is the only person I've told about my situation at the moment, He even admitted that he wasn't surprised that I would eventually question myself and he knew that I might change my sexuality at some stage. I didn't really know how to react with his response but deep down I knew that he will be there and he will support any of my decisions. 

I mentioned this questioning has been going on for months now, And I haven't told anyone (Apart from Zack and obviously people who are reading this now). Another problem is that my friends have all left my school and have moved to college and Now I have no one, This is making me feel really depressed as I have no friends and spend all my time at school alone, I don't have anyone to turn to any more. I'm to scared to talk to my mum and my other friends outside school as I don't know how they will react. I'm also currently in a relationship so I definitely have no idea how my boyfriend will react if I told him all this. 

I really appreciate everyone who will take the time to read this, And I really hope some people will be able to help me  smile

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