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Posted almost 5 years ago

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The Boy At The Backstop
We drove slowly north on Downing Street heading to Porter Hospital when a young boy caught my eye
He stood apart from classmates who excitedly played basketball and tag 
The hood of his tan sweatshirt was pulled down and nearly concealed his face
He leaned against the baseball backstop far from the kids who didn’t seem to notice him
The boy's head was bowed and I wondered what he was thinking....and why he was so alone
Did he have a bad experience in class or was his life at home the source of the sadness that covered him like a fog on a cold November morning
Perhaps he was merely one of the kids who just doesn’t seem to fit in with the kids who have it all together....or maybe he was afraid of the bully who had victimized him in the hall before recess
I wish I could have stopped the car and met him near home plate.....that I could have looked into his eyes and tried to bring a ray of hope to his day
Such a pity that a boy not even ten should have to feel so alienated and alone....that no one in his class could see his pain and reach out to him
I hope he finds one special teacher or one trusted friend who can help bring the light back to his eyes
I know I'll look for him again in four weeks  when I return for my follow up appointment with Dr. Evans
I'll leave a little early and buy a card and a large chocolate chip cookie at Safeway
Just in case.... just in case I'm meant to be that friend who can help lift the fog that shrouds the forgotten boy at the backstop

Posted almost 5 years ago

Posted By:

On October 20th, 2011, no one was home after school so I tried to #### ###### in my basement. I know what your thinking, why would she do such a selfish thing? Well I was going through so much I couldn’t even handle anything anymore. I gave up at the time. I ended up getting off the ground and going upstairs. I looked in the mirror and I saw the brush marks all over my neck from the rope. I knew in school the next day people were going to ask where was it from.
Then I started to cut myself. It was addicting, I did it a couple times that night. In the morning at school I ended up telling 2 of my best friends, someone told a guidance counsellor about what I did last night. When I got home after school, social workers came to my house and I had no idea why they were at my house at first, but then they asked me if I really tried to #### ######, and of course I told the truth. So I got taken down to ECMC after school, I had to sit in the emergency room for 6 hours, then I had to sit in CPEP for another 6 hours, the nurse finally took me up to my room. I ended up staying there till November 4th. It helped a lot, and taught me a lesson. I’m glad that whoever told, did tell the guidance counsellor about how I attempted suicide because I wouldn’t have gotten the help I needed. When I tell what happened that night I attempted suicide, I actually smile at the end now. My friends wonder why I smile.
I smile because I’m happy it’s over and I got the help I needed. I’m glad I don’t have to go through any of that pain anymore, because I try my best to think positive everyday. Things do get better; you just have to hang in there. I know this suicide attempt was recent and your wondering how I could tell this so soon, but like I said I’m happy that I got the help I needed, and I’m happy that the suicide attempt didn’t actually work out.
And remember things do get better.  Suicide is 100% preventable, speak out and reach out. People should at least try to get help even through its really hard at the time. There are many people that can help you. Everyone is concern about teens committing suicide. Everyone feels guilt when a teen commits suicide because they think they could have done something to prevent the suicide.
People shouldn’t feel embarrassed about trying to attempt suicide or even expressing their personal feelings. Everyone has difficult times in their lives and we need to help each other. Just remember things do get better.  

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