My World

My world feels as though I should not exist
First there was one name that turned into a list
The world does not know the pain I am in
All of this pain caused by one little thing

Domino motion, one thing leads to the next
Now I am alone due to the butterfly effect
I feel all alone but I'm surrounded by friends
The people I care about coming to untimely ends

People I know seem to be dropping like flies
One day I know my own end shall arise
And as the depression sinks deeper and deeper
The pain and the suffering is getting no weaker

Friends and relatives, family and foe
All are filling my life full of woe
The pain on the inside is growing fast
I no longer know if I want my life to last

Yet all of the time I act as though I'm fine
Living my life as though my life isnt mine
The pain in my heart and the images in my head
Are never allowed to surface until I am alone in bed

There is the one place I let myself cry
No other way to fall asleep no matter how hard I try
My friends see a girl full of happiness and cheer
My heart if filled with nothing but anger and fear

What little life I have now is better than none
But I have often thought about using a gun
Ending my life as quickly as it began
Like a rabbit in the headlights that should have ran

The pain grows stronger by day and by night
The pain in my heart constantly amplified by fright
My life often feels as though it isnt worth living
I do all the giving, everyone else does the receiving

My friends see nothing but happiness around me
Infact they are wrong for they do not see
Twenty one people I have known to die in two years
Several friends and family are in hospital, amplifying my fears

I am in more pain than anyone will ever know
I will not share my pain with the rest as a show
My life is for me to know not everyone around me
I suffer in silence while everyone else expreiences glee