"Abbergrl" wrote:I don't know where else to post this, but note that this isn't related to my friends. In a small way it is but it isn't.. anyway, my problem is I've read a lot and observed people around me. I've realised the kind of mistakes they make and have learnt how to avoid some of them. I've learnt from my childhood stupidity and sillyness too, and from the past two years. But I did something that many others must have done. Problem is I feel dumb now. Not because I think myself to be superior to others but because, it's simple for them to get over it but for me it's hard. I don't want to mention what I did but I had really strong feelings and one slight word can ruin my mood in that case. I've realised my problem is that I want to be perfect and to not make mistakes. But I know that mistakes help us learn. And I just need to relax but don't know how to. I want to, unlike people who give up and submit to the darkness - no offsense. But I really, really want to. It's been tearing me apart. Please, if anyone can help me, please please help.
I used to be exactly like that. I let my mistakes I made that everyone else got over quickly nibble at me, because I also had that mindset--wanting to not make mistakes--and still kinda do, frankly. What I've used to help myself then was letting myself forget about it until I want to think back on it.
I still use this method. You can also use it mentally, too.
What I did was take a pencil in my hand and get a piece of paper. I drew a moderate-sized square on it and wrote "BOX" in all caps on it. Below, I drew another picture of a square that looked like the inside of an open box viewed from above. Just takes some lines in the top corners that go in slightly and then lines connecting them to each other and the other, invisible corners. Then, I drew a little rectangle in the box, and wrote a word relevant to the mistake on it. I drew once again the original picture below it, but with lines around the edges, representing duct tape. I folded the piece of paper into fourths so it would fit in my coat pocket, writing "BOX" on the two visible sides, took some deep breaths, and I didn't think about it again until I took the piece of paper out when I wanted to think on the mistake.
It's a lot faster mentally, and I'm not saying forget it completely, as we need to learn from our mistakes, but that's a way to handle it. Unfortunately, we can never be absolutely perfect, so we also need to accept that we'll inevitably make mistakes in the future. It just helps us know to not make that one again :)
Ever since I did that method, I didn't feel as bad when I made a mistake anymore, but I still retrieve the memories to think on them. It helped me relax more as well. I hope this will help you too!
about 1 hour
i know all about this kinda stuff, be nice to the other girl and tell your friend about her being mean if that doesnt work maybe your friend isnt really your friend
about 2 hours
My bff is being taken away from me by another girl in our year who is mean to me ... I really miss her .. What shall I do?
about 6 hours