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Dear Dish-It: My BF Is Moving

Jul 24, 2009

Dear Dish-It,


A common topic in life is: are you really in love? My answer? YES. I am in love with my boyfriend, Austin. We've been going out a few months but we've loved each other for years. He's an awesome guy. I'm 13, and he's turning 15 in September. Although he's older, our love for each other will never change. Now here's where the conflict comes in: his parents are going to divorce and he’s moving about an hour or two away. He'll still be going to my school, and soon he'll be able to drive. But it's summer, I barely see him, my mom doesn't seem to like him when he does come over and his dad is an abusive drunk. He's really unhappy about not seeing me enough. I am too! Every night I cry and cry about it, and so does he. We just get worse and worse, being apart from each other. Please help me! What can I do about this? How can I get through it?


Wounded_Soul


Dear WS,


Wow, I can tell you love Austin. I hope that he loves you back just as much, even if you are both moving into a time of your life that could turn out to be bittersweet. Unfortunately, you may not like my advice. I know you hope the two of you will be able to stay together despite the distance his move has created, but I must warn you: long-distance relationships are hard (as you know) and often don’t work out. All it takes is a little time and space and then you meet someone new and the old relationship seems like not much more than a memory …


I’m not saying it WON’T work out between the two of you. I’m just giving you a dose of reality. I firmly believe that if it’s meant to be then it will be and, instead of wasting your time crying, you should adopt the same belief – I’m positive it will give you more hope, no matter what the future brings.


Here’s the other thing. You and Austin are so lucky to live in a world of incredible communication technology – there’s no reason you can’t be in touch with each other even when you’re physically apart! I know nothing can replace actually being together in person, but you and Austin have all this technology in front of you. You can do video chat, talk on Skype for free, text 20 times a day (though I don't recommend it) or send long e-mails. While the odds are very much against this type of relationship, I've heard enough interesting stories in my life to realize that odds are just that — odds.


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