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Dear Dish-It: My Friend Gossips

Jul 27, 2009

Dear Dish-It,

My friend is always talking about guys she’s crushing on or other girls that we know. I’ve told her she should try talking about other things but she doesn’t listen. What should I do?

gtorino

Dear GT,

Sounds like your friend is quite the gossip. What exactly is gossip? Well, gossip is casual talk about other people and their personal matters and affairs. There is “good gossip,” which basically just provides basic information about other people and what they’re up to, and then there’s “bad gossip,” which is essentially good gossip turned bad. In other words, bad gossip happens when all that casual talk turns harmful. The thing about bad gossip is that it has the ability to spread and affect everything it touches – in a bad way.

Most kids your age feel that if everyone else is doing it, and if they see and hear it everywhere, then gossip can’t be such a bad thing, can it? Maybe this is what your friend thinks, and why she can’t stop gossiping about other people even when you ask her to. Maybe if you gave your friend some more information and facts about how much bad gossip can affect people she’ll be more inclined to stop. Here is some information that may help you stop your friend from gossiping in the future.

How Gossip Affects Those Being Gossiped About

  • It can ruin their reputation
  • It can humiliate them
  • It can raise doubts and cause mistrust
  • It can destroy friendships
  • It can expose secrets that should be kept private
  • It can make people feel bad about themselves
  • It can cause low self-esteem … or worse

How Gossip Affects Those Doing The Gossiping

  • It can give them a bad reputation as someone who’s mean and not trustworthy
  • It can make them lose friends
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