Spring is here, along with new beginnings! New life can blossom in unexpected ways around us. Does your mood match the beauty of the season? If the answer is “Not so much,” don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s been…well, it’s been a year. Give yourself a big hug. You made it through the best you could. And also know that you have the power to make changes in your life, no matter what you might be dealing with.
You say you’re at the whim of circumstances around you? Well sure, there’s a lot we can’t change, but there’s a lot we can. Knowing how to tell the difference between what you can and cannot change will help you in the areas of your life where you’ve found yourself constantly going ’round and ’round, repeating the same old maddening patterns.
Your mind is a powerful tool. When used to enhance the spark inside you, you just may find yourself effortlessly fulfilling your hopes and passions. But the mind is also a product of our past insecurities, current assumptions, and fears of what the future holds. This means that the mind can taint everything that happens to us with dusty old stories about ourselves that may not be true, but nevertheless seem real to us. Do you feel stuck somewhere in your life? Start by thinking about the following. See if anything resonates with you.
Release what you can’t control.
So much of our time is spent worrying about a future that’s created solely in our minds, especially if we feel stuck in some aspect. But the ability to accept and even embrace uncertainty about how something in our life may turn out serves us much better than clinging to the need to know. The clinging turns into fear, and in the end this fear will probably stifle us from becoming unstuck in the first place.
- Life really is an adventure. Approach your adventure with curious eyes. We’re not always meant to know the final act before we get there.
- Give yourself permission to trust the process and take baby steps. Life has a funny way of pleasantly surprising us, opening up for us in ways we hadn’t considered.
- Then in the meantime, focus on your everyday activities. Staying focused on can bring you peace and perspective. Live fully in each moment and go with the flow.
Allow yourself to change your mind about stuff
- For the things you CAN control, make changes. If you’re unhappy, either change the situation to the best of your ability, or accept things as they are, and then stop worrying.
- Accept change and be honest with yourself. Sometimes the hardest choice is the best one. It’s quite common to have to change a certain goal you set for yourself. Change is constant and inevitable. Ask yourself: Do I still want the things I’m working toward? For example, do I still enjoy the sport I’m in? Should I focus on something new and interesting? If you’re stuck, ask a friend to help you identify any blind spots you may be too close to the situation to recognize.
Approach where you are with love
- If you want to create change for yourself, do it because it feels right, not to satisfy other people. When you think negative thoughts about yourself, write those thoughts down. Then beside them, turn them around with words of gratitude. Let your gratitude guide you.
- Small changes make a huge difference. Scale back on mindless doing, and spend more time “being.” Numbing out with your phone or video games works in the moment, but in the end it brings more of the same. Make time available for hobbies that will bring more joy into your life.
- Love yourself. Any voice inside that tells you that you’re “not enough” is lying, and you can choose to ignore it. Ignore our culture’s claims that you need to live up to its image of success in order to be “acceptable.” Resist the temptation to compare yourself to others–Their journey isn’t yours, and there’s no set timetable for when is appropriate to achieve “success.” There’s plenty of abundance and happiness for everyone and then some, but you have to recognize it and then accept it.
- Surround yourself with those who make you feel good and lift you up. Set boundaries with those who don’t. Consider becoming part of something larger than yourself, working with others for a greater good. The sense of belonging to a group of like-minded people can help connect you to what most inspires you.