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Posted 7 months ago

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Posts: 15

OCEANHORN: MONSTER OF UNCHARTED SEAS Is, undoubtedly, the Zelda of the 2000’s. As you roam the seas as a vase-throwing, spell-casting, treasure-hunting, puzzle-solving, monster-deceiving, pumpkin-seed-shooting young rogue who’s always either called “kid”, “hero,” “young one,” or “YOU LITTLE FIEND!” Instead of by his name (they sure do find some shortcuts these days!), You’ll come to realizations about either quality or total absurdity; you’ll have some stories to tell. With an idyllic Japanese soundtrack, this all comes together with a deep, elemental storyline & system. You’ll start off on Hermit’s Island with a note from your father: his destiny is tied to fighting Oceanhorn, a giant mechanical clown spider of sorts, who, in case you’re wondering, has as much to do with oceans or horns as I do. “Fight Oceanhorn you must!”, said Yoda...er...Hermit-- “To it your destiny is tied, too!” Skipping some more vase-throwing (they weren’t that expensive!), I found the first of the sacred emblems, the emblem of earth. It wasn’t easy, though. It’s guardian, Turmos, who either has a radioactive hybrid thermal distortion from an octopus/dragon hostile combo child or just has had his fill of donuts, is a little grumpy. Being at some points in the battle strangely attracted to the beast’s dentally uncared for mouth, I deserved the small reward. DOWNLOAD OCEANHORN TODAY!!! (U WIL PAY FOR DE BROKEN VASES, JUST AS DAT OGRE DID!)

-Spring, AKA mista cray cray


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