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Why I Hate La Croix

Posted about 4 months ago by thetreebranch

I know this opinion is not controversial. Everyone knows: La Croix is disgusting and should be banned from this earth. Well, except for a few people, but we don't talk about them. Anyway, in this blog post I will be outlining each of the reasons I hhhhaatteeee this nasty drink, and what makes it so bad.
1) It tastes like glass.
Whenever you drink it, you get a piercing feeling in your mouth, one that takes you over and makes you question why you even picked up this ugly pink can in the first place. It slices your tongue open, but makes you feel crazy because there's no evidence of this ever happening. I would rather eat glass than drink this garbage.
2) The flavor makes no sense.
Fruit is supposed to taste, y'know, fruity, right? WRONG. Not with La Croix. With La Croix, fruit tastes like the afterthought of a lemon. It has no substance, just pain. The sweet taste of a pink lemonade is gone. It is now just a pink lemon peel.
3) Its fanbase is full of people who are now addicted to it and can't stay away.
No one else. Who do you know that casually drinks La Croix? Who do you know that says "Oh, La Croix is okay, not my favorite, but I'll drink it on occasion." Yeah, no one. La Croix gets them hooked, and they never recover.
This does not conclude my list of reasons why La Croix should be banned from stores and homes, but I'm going to leave this list here, because I'm sure you understand my point by now. Have a wonderful day, except if you drink La Croix.