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Dear Dish-It: He Says He'd Never Date Me

Oct 25, 2009

Dear Dish-It,

I told my best friend from school that I liked this guy since last year! I decided to tell my crush's sister that I liked him. She told him and I asked her please not to. He told my best friend that he would never go out with me and will never like me. Was he saying that because he does like me and he doesn't want people to know or did he mean what he said?


Dear Laneebug,

As I always say, it's ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to tell what another person is thinking or feeling or whether he or she meant or didn't mean what he or she said unless you ask that person DIRECTLY (and even then you might not get the truth). I'm sorry that this happened to you, and that someone betrayed your trust by spilling a secret you asked her to keep to herself (next time, don't trust her with your secrets).

If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about whether or not your crush meant what he said. I'd just go ahead and move on - I promise you'll have a new crush soon enough! If your old crush is just embarrassed and really does like you, you'll find out one way or another - and then YOU can decide whether you still like him at that point or not. But if he did mean what he said, then, well, that's that. It's actually a good lesson to learn - not every guy you have feelings for is going to be able to return those exact same feelings back to you. That's why it's so important to let your love for someone grow slowly and quietly, and take lots of time to get to know the person and make sure you can trust him with your feelings, and with your heart.

It's also important to build up your own strength and to learn to love yourself completely - when you know you will ALWAYS have your own love, no matter what, you won't feel so hurt by other people's words or actions.

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