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Dear Dish-It Discussion: The Power of People

January 30, 2018

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Today on Dear Dish-It’s, “Let’s Talk About it Tuesday” we will be addressing questions and concerns regarding a variety of issues that come up for kids and teens. We see repeats of these issues because they come up with a lot of people. Problems with mental health,  friends, ourselves and parents are very common and are very important. If they are affecting a lot of people we have some real work to do in making sure that we put the happiness of our kids and teens first.  

Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:

It's not a competition.It's not a competition.

Question from anonymous

okay hi I have a lot of questions but I will give my big one first. I had this friend that we had ended up being a little bit more. we dated for about seven months and then one day he broke up with me but before that day Elisha, the twin brother, day by day would spread rumors that I was going to break up with Elijah but I wasn’t I really liked him and even though he never told it to my face I heard him say he loved  me. Then the rumors stopped and another started that Elijah was going to break up with me that day, Elisha told me that Elijah was going to break up with me. I didn’t want to believe him but I know they [tell] everything to each other so it must have been true, but the one thing is that always puzzled me was the way it happened when he dumped me. We were all arguing, but Elisha had started it. The reason it puzzles me was that I recently found out that Elisha was the reason my recent boyfriend broke up with me, and that Elijah has been threatening every guy I talk to. I always knew he was protective of the things he loved, but it became more strong since his mother had passed away. So my question is what the heck is happening. Can u tell me?

Insight/Advice:

Sometimes brothers, especially twin brothers, don’t like their other brothers having girlfriends. People do try to break people up, and it sounds like Elisha played a hand in your break up. Talk to your ex-boyfriend, tell him what you told me, that you were never going to break up with him. It’s clear he still has feelings for you especially if he is protecting you from every guy that talks to you. Tell Elijah how you feel, and that you should base your relationship off of what you say to each other. Don’t get caught up in the drama. Set boundaries and keep an open communication with Elijah. Honesty is always the best option, even if it can hurt sometimes, it is always better to tell the truth. As I’ve pointed out, you need certain things in a relationship in order to make it work. Check out this article to see if you feel that you can make things work out with Elijah.

Sometimes relationships fall to pieces.Sometimes relationships fall to pieces.

Question by MusicalTheatreNerd

I do a musical theater program, but one girl always gets the really good parts! I think it's really unfair and I'm starting to get jealous of her!! what should I do??

Insight/Advice:

Do you think it is possible she gets cast these “really good parts” because she is talented? It sounds like you are indeed jealous, and this is an ugly quality to express. Be happy for her that she has found her calling on stage. Remember that we can’t shine everywhere, but when we do it’s because we got the skills to back it up. Except this girl to get good parts from now on, accept it, and totally own the parts you get cast in. Work hard and who knows what could come your way, but regardless, keep a positive attitude and don’t compare yourself to other people. Focus on you.

Don't give into the music of the drama.Don't give into the music of the drama.

Question by navada98

How would you feel Dish-It if you lot a school competition because yesterday my team lost at UMBC University I was so bummed how would you feel?

Insight/Advice:

Of course, I would be upset, but I’ve learned that winning isn’t everything. In life, you win some and you lose some, that’s just the way it is goes. Some losses are bigger than others, but you have to work through your grief and loss surrounding the situation. Work through it, try to have friendly competition and then try to let it go. It’s only one competition, one moment of your life. There will be more chances to win, so keep your head up, and don’t let this get you down.

You can always focus on school when social things aren't going well.You can always focus on school when social things aren't going well.

Question by mileschroniclesfan

I'm gay and my mum and dad don't except me at all and they want me to break up with my boyfriend. what do I do???

Insight/Advice:

This is a tough one. Dear Dish-It always believes that you should do what your parents think is best, however, matters of the heart are more complicated. It all depends on who you want to piss off. If you are obedient, you will listen to your parents. Even if it’s something you don’t want to do. You have to weight out the pros and cons, and really see if you are being willful or willing. I would say follow your heart, but also try to explain to your parents what this person means to you and that you don’t think it’s fair. Be explicit. Tell them how you feel and see if that gives you any ground.

Sometimes our actions are really out of love.Sometimes our actions are really out of love.

Afterthoughts

This week there were many problems with interpersonal relationships. It seems there is this constant struggle to get along, to trust people and be true to people.

You shouldn’t try to destroy other people’s happiness. Try to be happy for others and maintain a positive outlook.

Don’t worry so much. These problems seem big now, but soon they will fade away. That’s the great thing about life, it keeps moving. A change is always on the rise, and this change could be a good one.

Talking about your problems is the first step towards recovery. Talking about your problems is the first step towards recovery.
 

Helplines & Resources: 

  • TeenMentalHealth.org
  • KidsHealth - A safe, private place for kids & teens who need honest, accurate information and advice about health, emotions, and life.
  • Teen Line - A helpline for kids and teens to work through their personal issues and mental health as needed.  1-800-TLC-TEEN or 1-800-852-8336 (Toll-Free US & Canada).
  • Mind Infoline – Information on self-harm and a helpline to call in the UK at 0300 123 3393 or text 86463.
  • Kids Help Phone – Free, anonymous and bilingual helpline for young people in Canada, available 24/7 by phone, Live Chat, and the Always There chat app for any issue, including self-injury and suicide. Call 1-800-668-6868 or visit kidshelpphone.ca.
  • Kids Helpline – A helpline for kids and young adults in Australia to get help with issues including cutting and self-harm. Call 1800 55 1800. (Kids Helpline).

Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It?

Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It, and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!

Have Your Say

What’s are you most insecure about? How does it affect your well-being? Comment below.