We’ve talked about what it feels like to be different, but we haven’t addressed the reality that some people identify with different forms of sexuality. Today on Dear Dish-It’s “Let’s Talk About It Tuesday”, we are going to answer questions from kids and teens who are struggling with their sexual identity. In particular, how to tell people about it, and how to come out about it to the people who matter in your life and in your community. This subject can be sensitive because we all have different ideas about how we think and feel the world should be. As much as we’d like to think that all differences are embraced, a lot of people are prejudice and show discrimination towards those who live out different lifestyles.
Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:
Question by sundae
My question is how do I tell my family that I’m pansexual?
Insight/Advice:
I wish there was some magical answer to make this easier for you, but sadly, there isn’t one. You simply have to search for the courage and remind yourself that your family loves you, and if they love you properly it means accepting you and loving you for exactly who you are, no matter who that might be. You need to tell them. Your happiness is what’s most important, and I sense that you cannot feel okay unless you tell your family the truth. Even if people don’t give you the reaction that you hope for, in time, those who truly love you, will come back around and adjust. If it’s you they love, it should not matter what your sexual preference is, despite stereotypes that do not have any affect on your personality or who you are as a person.
Love is Whoever You Want It To Be.
Question by Oz
I do not know whether to tell anyone that I'm am gay.
Insight/Advice:
The option is entirely your choice. How do you feel about people knowing? Only you can decide what is best and what makes you feel comfortable. Are you worried it might affect your ability to fit in? Or are you afraid that certain people won’t be understanding? Try not to be. In doing this you will discover your true friends. A sexual preference doesn’t change anything about you, you’re still the same person so if your friends react negatively, they might not be worth it. Either way, you will be happier around people that you feel like you can be yourself around. Be you, not who the world wants you to be, but the person you want to be inside. Trust your gut, and listen to it, if you are even questioning coming out then maybe you should, but that decision is entirely up to you.
Question by Sham_wow
I had a crush on a boy. Now I think I like a girl. Do you think this a phase or whaaaa?
Insight/Advice:
Only you will know whether it is a phase or not, and only time will tell, but regardless, don’t feel the need to label yourself. Engage in the relationship that you chose to. If you build a preference towards one sex that’s fine, and if you don’t that is perfectly fine too. You don’t need to label yourself. Go with it and see where it takes you. Right now, you are noticing these things for the first time and they will confuse you, this is perfectly okay and normal. Feel what you feel, and time and experience will grant you the answers you are looking for. You will figure out what you want as soon as you truly see all that there is out there for you.
You Don't Have to Lable Your Love.
Question by Bisexual Phoenix
I think I'm bisexual. I have a crush on my best friend, but we are both really young. We are under 11, and it's impossible to flirt with her, she hates romance. I'm really young and don't wanna date, trust me, but how and when should I tell her my feelings?
Insight/Advice:
Do you think she feels the same way? Regardless, sometimes we just have to get things off our chests otherwise they will eat at us in the worst way possible. Sounds like you are aware of the fact that you are young and don’t know yet what you might be or how you might feel as a grown up. Focus on what you can do to better your personal situation. If telling your friend how you feel is important to you then it’s just something that you’ve got to do, and you can communicate this in any way, format or fashion which works for you. Honesty is a good policy, and if your feelings are getting in the way of the friendship then you need to tell her how you feel. It won’t be easy, but at least then you will know where you stand on the matter. Remember, it’s always best to look out for your best concern, when it is suitable because you have to live with yourself, no one else, and wouldn’t you prefer to see yourself happy?
Many Kids and Teens Suffer With Coming Out to Their Communities.
Afterthoughts
Matters of sexuality are never easy, especially at this age. We often feel confused, so when feelings occur they can make us feel confused and unsure of who we are. Reassure yourself that you are still the same person, but you might have different sexual preferences than most people. At the end of the day, you need to be you, and it doesn’t matter who you decide to love, love is love, in any shape or form, and who is anyone to judge love? Don’t let other people bring you down. If they tease you it’s because they’ve got their own insecurities on the matter, and it’s nothing personal against you. No one should tell anyone how to love, and no one should influence your feelings. You’ve got to stay true to who you are because then you are attracting the right people and doing the right things. It’s important to feel free. Don’t let secrets consume you, don’t stay in the dark and don’t hide. The sooner you come out the better. Your life will adjust faster and if people in your life need time to re-adjust let them take it. All you can do is be you, and make no apology for it, unless necessary. At this age, you need people to talk to about this stuff, so keep writing because your concerns are so important.
Sometimes We Get Feelings For Our Friends.
We might live in a world where it matters what people think, but really it’s you who decides if you are going to let people affect you. They may think they know your situation, but they don’t. Let them say whatever they want. They are insignificant and ignorant and you don’t need any of that in your life.
Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It? Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!
Have Your Say
Does it bother you if your friends are not straight? Do you agree sexual preference has nothing to do with personality?
