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Dear Dish-It Discusses Problems with People

September 18, 2018

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Today on Dear Dish-It’s “Let’s Talk About it Tuesday” we will be answering questions about relationships and making new friendships. We discuss the complications people have making new friends, and the worries that surround them. We look at different personality types who struggle to make friends because they are more introverted than outgoing. Dear Dish-It also looks at sibling relationships, highlighting how they can be hard, especially if you are compared to your sibling. We discuss the challenges towards making new friends and the insecurities which hold us back. 

Let's Take a Look at This Week's Questions:

Include people whenever you can.Include people whenever you can.
 

Question by Nick Knox

Question: I am a nice person and a person who wants friends.  My only problem is that I am very introverted.  I have trouble talking to people and when that happens, I end up getting overlooked as a person.  I really want to achieve friends this year but it really does seem as though the struggle is real.  What can I do?

(P.S, I do not have very many friends to base myself off of because I am way different than everyone less.  Cliques are things that bind people together but push me away most days.)

Insight/Advice:

Never be afraid to find your voice and speak up, that will make the world of difference. Let people know who you are, and be proud of what you have to contribute. Take a chance, and keep taking chances, one day you are bound to be successful. There are lots of ways to make friends one way is through striking up a conversation, but there are other ways. You could join a club or a sports team. You could invite someone out somewhere to do something specific. You could take part in school events and school affairs like student council. Simply, try to get to know someone, and when you meet someone you feel comfortable with, you will make a new friend. Try to stay positive and believe in yourself, sometimes the only thing standing in your way is you. Don't be your own worst enemy. Try new things and new approaches and see where that gets you. 

No one wants to feel like the odd man out.No one wants to feel like the odd man out.
 

Question by Little Sibling

Question: My brother is perfect. He does whatever he is told and gets great grades. I have average grades and sometimes I procrastinate but I feel like I'm doing okay. But my brother can just do whatever he wants and will not get in trouble. Just since he's "the perfect angel" I'm the rebel good for nothing. Please advise me what to do.

Insight/Advice: 

Don’t ever compare yourself to your brother. You are special in your own way, being different than him does not make you the rebel. The fact that you care in the first place shows that you are a good person. If it’s really a problem, you need to talk to your parents about it and tell them how you feel. Let them know that you feel inferior to your brother, and that a lot of this has to do with how your parents have treated you. It's important that someone let's you know what you're good at. You deserve to feel important and not like you are living in your brother's shadow. You are good for something, so dig deep and discover what that is. Don't be hard on yourself or think that you are not good enough. You and your brother are two different people and therefore destine to be good at different things. Just because he gets better grades that does not make him better than you. Focus on your strengths, the only person you have to prove something to is yourself. You have to stop thinking this way and maybe as a result you will be treated differently. 

True friendship is a gift.True friendship is a gift.
 

Question by Nervous_Nancy

Question: Hello! I'm starting high school in a few months. I'm already really nervous and scared. I only have a few friends that are going to the same school but they might not be in any of my classes and they most likely will make other friends. Also the school I'm going to is really big and different from my middle school. I'm afraid I will get lost, become too overwhelmed with homework, and will become lonely. I'm a shy and quiet person so it's hard for me to make new friends. I don't know what to do? Any advice?

Insight/Advice:

It’s totally normal to be nervous, but it would also benefit you to be confident because you come across very negative. Stay away from negative thoughts and worries that bring you down. Instead, get excited for high school and the opportunity to meet new people. Know that you have something to offer others and believe in who you are, always. You don’t know who is going to be in your classes so again, don’t think negatively unless you absolutely have to. Even if your friends aren’t in your classes you can make new friends, or hang out with your old friends at recess and lunch. Don’t doubt yourself and think positively about your future. There are ways to make new friends and starting a new school is designed for you to make new buddies. Remember that everyone is in the same boat, likely separated from their old friends and looking to make new friends. Try to get rid of your nerves and go into it with your head held high. They often say that you get what you put out there so throw out some positive energy and see what comes back your way. Don't be afraid to speak up or let others know what you feel and what you like.

It is very important to everyone to find good friends.It is very important to everyone to find good friends.
 

Afterthoughts

Getting along with people can be tricky. We all want to have friends and be liked, but it shouldn’t come at a price. Don’t compare yourself to others even if you are related to them. You are unique in your own way and special in your own way. Someone will see this, just give it time. Have faith in yourself, your abilities and what you have to offer. Be confident and don’t think negative thoughts. When you go into the situation with a negative headspace, you create negative vibes. Try to put your best face forward, and have no fear. Yes, people can be mean and yes, people do leave people out, but there will always be other people that are like you that you can make friends with. Be selective with who you let it and ensure that person is a good person and worthy of your time. Once you know your worth you won't compromise for just anything. Have faith in yourself and the kind of person that you are and know that you are good enough. Others might not always see it, but what matters is that you do.

Making new friends is worthy challenge.Making new friends is worthy challenge.
 

Helplines & Resources: 

  • TeenMentalHealth.org
  • KidsHealth - A safe, private place for kids & teens who need honest, accurate information and advice about health, emotions, and life.
  • Teen Line - A helpline for kids and teens to work through their personal issues and mental health as needed.  1-800-TLC-TEEN or 1-800-852-8336 (Toll-Free US & Canada).
  • Mind Infoline – Information on self-harm and a helpline to call in the UK at 0300 123 3393 or text 86463.
  • Kids Help Phone – Free, anonymous and bilingual helpline for young people in Canada, available 24/7 by phone, Live Chat, and the Always There chat app for any issue, including self-injury and suicide. Call 1-800-668-6868 or visit kidshelpphone.ca.
  • Kids Helpline – A helpline for kids and young adults in Australia to get help with issues including cutting and self-harm. Call 1800 55 1800. (Kids Helpline).

Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It?

Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It, and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!

Have Your Say

Have you ever been worried about making new friends? How did you make new friends? Comment below.