Chillin' :: What Do You Do When You've Been Treated Unfairly

Dr. Janet Taylor

Chilling - not fighting - is the right way to handle things.

How to Deal

Let me tell you what happened to me last week. I went to get a manicure at the local nail salon. Realizing that I didn't have enough cash and wondering what to do, I noticed the woman next to me pay with a check. Cool, I thought, I'll just do that. Well, when I wrote my check, the manager said, "We don't take checks."

I was ticked. I raised my voice, "I just watched her write you a check."

The manager replied, "But I know her, I don't know you. Do you have a credit card?"

"No", I said, lying. "You know what? What you just did wasn't right." I was so mad! Revenge was on my mind. I made myself count to ten and left.

I'm sure that many of you have run into the same situation - where people who don't know you, make assumptions based on how you look, how old you are, how many tattoos or nose rings you have, what color you are and how you dress. Enough already. And if you do this to other people, shame on you.

In New York City, the Reverend Al Sharpton just got released from prison for ninety days for protesting the bombing in Puerto Rico. He put his money where his mouth is. He went to jail to show his feelings about the US government and how it was treating the citizens of Puerto Rico, using their island for target practice.

What do you do when you feel like you or someone you know is being treated unfairly? Do you get so mad that you want to fight? Do you curse them out, do you walk away or do you cry? I don't know who said it but there is a quote, "If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."

So when you feel discriminated against or treated unfairly for whatever reason - think about what YOU stand for. In other words don't get so caught up in the moment that you do something that you will regret. For example, if you go into a store and are followed around like you're going to steal something, don't act a fool. Calmly leave and tell yourself that you will never shop there again. Tell your friends never to shop there again. Hit people where it hurts, in the pocketbook.

There are ways to get your message across without being violent or loud. At school, if you have a problem with a teacher or another student try this: CHILL.

C -Calm down. Count to ten breathing deeply.
H -Head. Use your head to think about what just happened and identify what the problem really is.
I -Ignore the feeling to fight or lash out.
L -Lighten up. Think of another way to look at the situation.
L -Listen to yourself and then speak.

The world can be a crazy place. You will notice a lot of things that are unfair. But you can't fight every battle, so you have to choose. Understand that it is your responsibility to stand up for what is right but sometimes it's okay to walk away.