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Dear Dish-It, I Have a Chat Room Boyfriend

Dear Dish-It,

In the chat room I've got a boyfriend. I really don't know him that well. It's A CHAT ROOM. Anyway, how can I get to know him more? The freakiest thing about it is b4 I started going out with him I liked someone else?? Help!!! Im so confused.

Confused


Dear Confused,

This is such a valid Q. One of the coolest things about the internet is being able to meet lots of new peeps, make some great new friends, and maybe hook up with someone special. So you've done just that. You've got some guy in chat that you are cyber dating. Hmmm, here's the bad - it ain't safe to hook your boy up with your 411. He may be the real deal and that's sweet, but what if he isn't? Think about it - you're thinking about giving someone your personal whatever, maybe even your digits. But he's a stranger, using a nick and he might not even be a guy. He could be a girl. And trust this, cuz I've worked in chat rooms before. I've seen girls posing as guys and the flip side. Or worst - what if your boy turned out to be stinky old BaBa on his laptop (you know what I mean) in his trailer, lookin' to reel in anyone he can hook up with. Cyber stalking and a lot of other really scary dirt starts online in a chat room. And even when chat is monitored (like it is here) nothin' is absolutely tight... nothin' but you playing it safe.


I know that having a nick and being anon is fun - you can be what you want. You can tell stories that might not be totally straight up or are just pulp fiction. And that's all fun and games, but remember the other person is probably playing at the same game. So, just to be safe keep the dating in the chat room, keep the conversation simple. Read "I like Mandy Moore, how 'bout you? What kinda movies do you like? Do you play on any teams?" Just don't include personal info like the name of your school team, what position you play and what city you live in. Personal info like that just lets someone out there know how to find you... even if they don't know your real name. If you really, really want to get to know this boy, bring the 'rents up to date. Let them know you want to exchange emails (tell your boy to do the same with his 'rents.) If your 'rents keep six - then you might be good to go. So have fun but be smart. Just cuz you're sittin' in your room, chattin' away with some guys, doesn't mean there's no danger.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

drowning
"SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? It's really nice that your mother supports it, that always helps!! I'm glad that your family enjoys his company as well. Being 16 while he's 20 is alright. It's a slight odd age gap. But, I think as long as you both are ready, it's alright. Make sure you're mature and safe with your choices though. Personally, I think you should wait until you're closer to at least, 17. But, as long as you two are smart about what you're doing, it should be alright when it come around to it.
reply 2 days
fitta
"Shygirl15" wrote:I really like this boy in my second period class but i dont know how to tell him because he knows that im transgender do whatever makes you feel comfortable or just wing it and tell him and if he tells you something because you're trans forget about him! He doesn't deserve you. But it's totally okay if you want to play it safe and not go up to him. You do you. :3 
reply 3 days
fitta
"SatanslilDemon" wrote: Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice??? i suggest you wait i mean you are going to be 16 that's way too young to be dating someone who is 4/5 years older than you,no? You can still talk to him when it comes to your anxiety attacks and all of that because I have those too every night so I know how it feels, but maybe you should wait. But at the end of the day it's your decision I'm just here to give advice 
reply 3 days
SatanslilDemon
Ok so I have a dilemma. I really, and I mean really like this guy. He's considerate of my mental wellbeing and health, plus he's really funny and sweet. He's respectful, loyal, and his hugs are the best ever(he's like a foot and 4 inches taller than me). the dilemma is, he'stwentyandI'mfifteenturningsixteensoon.... I'm not gonna even ask about dating him until i'm sixteen but I've called him in total anxiety attack crying my eyes out and he calmed me down and made me laugh, and I invited him to come see a choir performance so he spent the day with me... My mom ships us... but I'm a little worried because of the age difference  and experience difference and just, I don't want to miss the chance of being with him because of it. ​  any advice???
reply 3 days
SmartSunnyShadow
I feel like that too. My best friend will always hang out with her 'new friends' that I have a really bad opinion about. My friend will treat me rudely all the time and sometimes make fun of me with her friends. But, when I needed her the most in my life, she was there for me, and I told her how I felt. She says that she just wants to hang out with more people and apologized, people can be a little teasy at times.  Also, after seeing each other for a long time, people make new friends and start hanging out with them more, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like you.  This may be different for you, but just tell her about it, she will have to know you feelings at one point.  Hope I helped you. 
reply 3 days