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Spare a Square?

Bathroom Blues.
Spare a Square?
No Toilet Paper!?!
Spare a Square?

How often have you been stuck in a public bathroom stall with no toilet paper after doin' your business? What do you do? This embarrassing situation is common among all of us but rarely talked about. I'm here to expose the already exposed, but in a slightly different way.

Here are some ways to deal with the situation:

1) Before you even start to pee you should check to see if there is any toilet paper, but I know that us crazy humans forget to do this all the time. So if you forgot to check and you're stuck:

  • Peer underneath the stall walls to see if anyone is there. But make sure you don't peer too far because you don't wanna invade anyone's privacy. If someone's there, you're set. Ask them if they can "Spare a Square," as Seinfeld's Elaine says, and you're set.
  • If no one's there, things get a little more uncomfortable. There are still options but they ain't pretty. You can:

a) Drip-dry. But of course this only applies if peein' is all you've been doin'.

b) Venture off into the wild depths of the tile-laden jungle with your pants around your ankles, searching for the TP that lies in the surrounding stalls. The problem with this is that, well... your pants are around your ankles because doin' 'em up could get messy. So this technique has to be done as quick as possible to avoid someone walking in on you and your assets.

c) If you think someone walking in on you would be way too hard to deal with, there are ways to get around it... if you're limber. You can do the "duck and roll" underneath the stall wall, or you can climb over top of it. Of course, if you get stuck in either position it would automatically be on your "most embarrassing moments" list.

d) Then there's my personal worst way to deal with the no TP situation. It's using that awful, hard cardboard tube that is left over when all the soft cushiness of toilet paper is gone. Frankly, this solution sucks. It's half a solution because it has no absorbing qualities and the risk of clogging the toilet is huge.

e) And if any of you have travelled to India, you'll know that finding toilet paper in the stalls there is weirder than not finding it here. They don't wipe, they splash. Keep it in mind.

Whatever decision you make won't be easy. Just go for it with confidence and you'll be fine, and hopefully dry.

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Comments

Shrimpo

Shrimpo wrote:

Hahahahahahahahahahaaa! The Seinfeld refrance was just too much!!lol. I have watched a...
commented: Thu Apr 03, 2014

Jordan

Jordan wrote:

hahaha
commented: Wed Apr 02, 2014

Wooper1255

Wooper1255 wrote:

I one time did that... so I crawled under the stall next to me... ugh... at least no on...
commented: Wed Apr 02, 2014

there are 12 more comments

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What Would Be Worse?

  • No toilet paper?
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  • No toothpaste?
  • You're asking me to choose?!

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Standupandscream
Standupandscream posted in Style:
"CabeAlmighty" wrote:Ok no offense but red…. kinda ugly color for hair... sayng no offense doesnt work when you are calling something ugly m8. Also red is an awesome colour for hair, have you never seen a redhead before? They look awesome. I dyed my hair red because i like the colour red and red hair looks great on me.
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CabeAlmighty
CabeAlmighty posted in Style:
Ok no offense but red…. kinda ugly color for hair...
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jordand08
A year ago my grandfather had died. It's still hard, but in time, everything will be okay, I believe. Just recently my friend's mom died. 
reply about 7 hours
samkitty214
samkitty214 posted in Friends:
Dear Jaclyn, dont be ashamed to be apart of this generation because there are some children who will be positive and in no way like Giavanna. Giavannna was probably exposed to a lot of stuff, influenced by someone\something,or not in her right mind. try to FORGIVE AND FORGET. and be thankful that you have it better than her.                                                                                           -samkitty
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babydoll2baby
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who does that.At 13 yrs old thats ashame
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