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Spare a Square?

How often have you been stuck in a public bathroom stall with no toilet paper after doin' your business? What do you do? This embarrassing situation is common among all of us but rarely talked about. I'm here to expose the already exposed, but in a slightly different way.

Here are some ways to deal with the situation:

1) Before you even start to pee you should check to see if there is any toilet paper, but I know that us crazy humans forget to do this all the time. So if you forgot to check and you're stuck:

  • Peer underneath the stall walls to see if anyone is there. But make sure you don't peer too far because you don't wanna invade anyone's privacy. If someone's there, you're set. Ask them if they can "Spare a Square," as Seinfeld's Elaine says, and you're set.
  • If no one's there, things get a little more uncomfortable. There are still options but they ain't pretty. You can:

a) Drip-dry. But of course this only applies if peein' is all you've been doin'.

b) Venture off into the wild depths of the tile-laden jungle with your pants around your ankles, searching for the TP that lies in the surrounding stalls. The problem with this is that, well... your pants are around your ankles because doin' 'em up could get messy. So this technique has to be done as quick as possible to avoid someone walking in on you and your assets.

c) If you think someone walking in on you would be way too hard to deal with, there are ways to get around it... if you're limber. You can do the "duck and roll" underneath the stall wall, or you can climb over top of it. Of course, if you get stuck in either position it would automatically be on your "most embarrassing moments" list.

d) Then there's my personal worst way to deal with the no TP situation. It's using that awful, hard cardboard tube that is left over when all the soft cushiness of toilet paper is gone. Frankly, this solution sucks. It's half a solution because it has no absorbing qualities and the risk of clogging the toilet is huge.

e) And if any of you have travelled to India, you'll know that finding toilet paper in the stalls there is weirder than not finding it here. They don't wipe, they splash. Keep it in mind.

Whatever decision you make won't be easy. Just go for it with confidence and you'll be fine, and hopefully dry.

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What Would Be Worse?

  • No toilet paper?
  • No milk for your cereal?
  • No toothpaste?
  • You're asking me to choose?!

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Abbergrl
Abbergrl posted in Family Issues:
Agreed. He was hiding for a reason, but noone except him knows what that is. It may have been good or bad. By telling the teacher you stopped anything bad from happening. Your grandfather was right too, but I think that telling the teacher was the right thing to do. Also, don't worry. I had an aunt who was very very close to me, but I was very small when she died and was actually laughing at those people crying their eyes out because I was little and didn't understand why they were crying so much. I didn't really feel anything right then. And now I reprimand myself for being such an idiot about it.
reply about 12 hours
awesomestream
awesomestream posted in Friends:
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reply about 14 hours
TexLex152
TexLex152 posted in Friends:
I've liked the same guy for six years. I decided this year to finally get it off my chest and tell him. It took a lot of courage, and I was gonna do it the day before graduation... Except, little did I know, he went on a trip that day and I never got the chance. I then got his ######## and built up the nerve to add him. He hasn't added me back yet, and it's been a week! I shouldn't be as stressed out as I am. I can't stop thinking about him, but I'm not gonna see him for two months. Help?
reply 1 day
Anna13
Anna13 posted in Family Issues:
Appreciate you as you did the right things...dont bother other things...
reply 2 days
Anna13
Anna13 posted in Family Issues:
See, one important thing is you father eventhough missed your mummy he needs somebody in his life.Thats is the main reason. So its better  you as medium (its better if you could share to your family member who knows things well) talk to hiim to stick on to one women an marry her or Just keep silent keep him some time afterall at one point of time hwe will realise things Pray to god for his betterment.........:)
reply 2 days