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Spare a Square?

Bathroom Blues.
Spare a Square?
No Toilet Paper!?!
Spare a Square?

How often have you been stuck in a public bathroom stall with no toilet paper after doin' your business? What do you do? This embarrassing situation is common among all of us but rarely talked about. I'm here to expose the already exposed, but in a slightly different way.

Here are some ways to deal with the situation:

1) Before you even start to pee you should check to see if there is any toilet paper, but I know that us crazy humans forget to do this all the time. So if you forgot to check and you're stuck:

  • Peer underneath the stall walls to see if anyone is there. But make sure you don't peer too far because you don't wanna invade anyone's privacy. If someone's there, you're set. Ask them if they can "Spare a Square," as Seinfeld's Elaine says, and you're set.
  • If no one's there, things get a little more uncomfortable. There are still options but they ain't pretty. You can:

a) Drip-dry. But of course this only applies if peein' is all you've been doin'.

b) Venture off into the wild depths of the tile-laden jungle with your pants around your ankles, searching for the TP that lies in the surrounding stalls. The problem with this is that, well... your pants are around your ankles because doin' 'em up could get messy. So this technique has to be done as quick as possible to avoid someone walking in on you and your assets.

c) If you think someone walking in on you would be way too hard to deal with, there are ways to get around it... if you're limber. You can do the "duck and roll" underneath the stall wall, or you can climb over top of it. Of course, if you get stuck in either position it would automatically be on your "most embarrassing moments" list.

d) Then there's my personal worst way to deal with the no TP situation. It's using that awful, hard cardboard tube that is left over when all the soft cushiness of toilet paper is gone. Frankly, this solution sucks. It's half a solution because it has no absorbing qualities and the risk of clogging the toilet is huge.

e) And if any of you have travelled to India, you'll know that finding toilet paper in the stalls there is weirder than not finding it here. They don't wipe, they splash. Keep it in mind.

Whatever decision you make won't be easy. Just go for it with confidence and you'll be fine, and hopefully dry.

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Comments

Shrimpo

Shrimpo wrote:

Hahahahahahahahahahaaa! The Seinfeld refrance was just too much!!lol. I have watched almost every episode of ALL of the 9 seasons!
commented: Thu Apr 03, 2014

Jordan

Jordan wrote:

hahaha
commented: Wed Apr 02, 2014

Wooper1255

Wooper1255 wrote:

I one time did that... so I crawled under the stall next to me... ugh... at least no one was there... * Goes to trash can and fake vomits *
commented: Wed Apr 02, 2014

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

rebelfeminist
rebelfeminist posted in Style:
Well you won't want to volunteer because that's unpaid.  Your profile says you're 11 which means you can't get a real job but you can babysit (you'll need first aid training for this), or you can pet sit or do yard work. Those are good jobs to have at your age.
reply about 3 hours
lawliet16
lawliet16 posted in Friends:
Maybe your overrating her personality while underrating yourself. Girls extremely like confident men so start working on your self esteem first because it stimulates interest to get to know you more especially on the romantic context and don`t forget to just be yourself so that you will know if she accept you to who you are and don`t let the "ideal boy" standard of the society bring you down. Remember that real happiness can be achieve when you are true to yourself so don`t mind what other people think of you and stop comparing yourself to the boys around her. Embrace your imperfections and wash away your insecurities and maybe she`ll like you back ;)
reply about 6 hours
lawliet16
Considering your age, it is normal that your parents might not accept it in case he likes you and the feeling is mutual and you must understand them. This is time when you need to focus in your studies and prepare for your future career and not for your future husband. You are still very young and trust me, you are still emotionally unprepared for this one heck of a roller coaster ride of emotions. Know the difference between loving that person and loving the feeling that you are in love. ;)
reply about 6 hours
peace16
peace16 posted in Friends:
Well I am happy that you off of them. 
reply about 7 hours
UnknownPoster
UnknownPoster posted in Friends:
"peace16" wrote:Oh man, I feel bad for you. I will sugguest rest it.. and when the 6 weeks of up. you can do whatever you want too do. Thanks. I am already back in school, I no longer have crutches thankfully. Also, i'd like to point out that they don't have social media, or at least, i'm not aware of it and I am out of school for two weeks for Christmas. Crushes are annoying lol. I have never been in a relationship either which makes things so much worst. 
reply about 7 hours

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