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Spare a Square?

Bathroom Blues.
Spare a Square?
No Toilet Paper!?!
Spare a Square?

How often have you been stuck in a public bathroom stall with no toilet paper after doin' your business? What do you do? This embarrassing situation is common among all of us but rarely talked about. I'm here to expose the already exposed, but in a slightly different way.

Here are some ways to deal with the situation:

1) Before you even start to pee you should check to see if there is any toilet paper, but I know that us crazy humans forget to do this all the time. So if you forgot to check and you're stuck:

  • Peer underneath the stall walls to see if anyone is there. But make sure you don't peer too far because you don't wanna invade anyone's privacy. If someone's there, you're set. Ask them if they can "Spare a Square," as Seinfeld's Elaine says, and you're set.
  • If no one's there, things get a little more uncomfortable. There are still options but they ain't pretty. You can:

a) Drip-dry. But of course this only applies if peein' is all you've been doin'.

b) Venture off into the wild depths of the tile-laden jungle with your pants around your ankles, searching for the TP that lies in the surrounding stalls. The problem with this is that, well... your pants are around your ankles because doin' 'em up could get messy. So this technique has to be done as quick as possible to avoid someone walking in on you and your assets.

c) If you think someone walking in on you would be way too hard to deal with, there are ways to get around it... if you're limber. You can do the "duck and roll" underneath the stall wall, or you can climb over top of it. Of course, if you get stuck in either position it would automatically be on your "most embarrassing moments" list.

d) Then there's my personal worst way to deal with the no TP situation. It's using that awful, hard cardboard tube that is left over when all the soft cushiness of toilet paper is gone. Frankly, this solution sucks. It's half a solution because it has no absorbing qualities and the risk of clogging the toilet is huge.

e) And if any of you have travelled to India, you'll know that finding toilet paper in the stalls there is weirder than not finding it here. They don't wipe, they splash. Keep it in mind.

Whatever decision you make won't be easy. Just go for it with confidence and you'll be fine, and hopefully dry.

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Comments

Shrimpo

Shrimpo wrote:

Hahahahahahahahahahaaa! The Seinfeld refrance was just too much!!lol. I have watched a...
commented: Thu Apr 03, 2014

Jordan

Jordan wrote:

hahaha
commented: Wed Apr 02, 2014

Wooper1255

Wooper1255 wrote:

I one time did that... so I crawled under the stall next to me... ugh... at least no on...
commented: Wed Apr 02, 2014

there are 12 more comments

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Jelly3
Jelly3 posted in Family Issues:
"Charulata" wrote:What the hell. :p It's your fault that you're connected with this #####. I support your parents. I'm sorry, but that's really judgemental. It's who she is and we ought to respect her. And anyway, there is nothing wrong with her liking girls more than she likes boys. In fact, she might even be going through an awkward adolescent phase where she doesn't exactly know who she prefers more.  Also, I think her parents will learn to accept the fact and all of them will be able to move on. 
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Charulata
Charulata posted in Friends:
What the Hell is your friend. A girl is pregnant without 18th? Yuck! 
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Charulata
What the hell. :p It's your fault that you're connected with this #####. I support your parents.
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Charulata
It's quite rare case. If you feel lonely , then you should read a book or you need a clam and quite friend who is good to you. You should take your principal / Headmistress permission and you should go to a clam place which is either Snowy or full of nature. You need 7-8 hours good sleep with healthy foods & you should talk with your friends patiently. Never feel lonely , Your friends are always with you. Carry on your treatment. 
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keyona2cute
keyona2cute posted in Style:
yasssssssss ##### :p
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