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Spare a Square?

How often have you been stuck in a public bathroom stall with no toilet paper after doin' your business? What do you do? This embarrassing situation is common among all of us but rarely talked about. I'm here to expose the already exposed, but in a slightly different way.

Here are some ways to deal with the situation:

1) Before you even start to pee you should check to see if there is any toilet paper, but I know that us crazy humans forget to do this all the time. So if you forgot to check and you're stuck:

  • Peer underneath the stall walls to see if anyone is there. But make sure you don't peer too far because you don't wanna invade anyone's privacy. If someone's there, you're set. Ask them if they can "Spare a Square," as Seinfeld's Elaine says, and you're set.
  • If no one's there, things get a little more uncomfortable. There are still options but they ain't pretty. You can:

a) Drip-dry. But of course this only applies if peein' is all you've been doin'.

b) Venture off into the wild depths of the tile-laden jungle with your pants around your ankles, searching for the TP that lies in the surrounding stalls. The problem with this is that, well... your pants are around your ankles because doin' 'em up could get messy. So this technique has to be done as quick as possible to avoid someone walking in on you and your assets.

c) If you think someone walking in on you would be way too hard to deal with, there are ways to get around it... if you're limber. You can do the "duck and roll" underneath the stall wall, or you can climb over top of it. Of course, if you get stuck in either position it would automatically be on your "most embarrassing moments" list.

d) Then there's my personal worst way to deal with the no TP situation. It's using that awful, hard cardboard tube that is left over when all the soft cushiness of toilet paper is gone. Frankly, this solution sucks. It's half a solution because it has no absorbing qualities and the risk of clogging the toilet is huge.

e) And if any of you have travelled to India, you'll know that finding toilet paper in the stalls there is weirder than not finding it here. They don't wipe, they splash. Keep it in mind.

Whatever decision you make won't be easy. Just go for it with confidence and you'll be fine, and hopefully dry.

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What Would Be Worse?

  • No toilet paper?
  • No milk for your cereal?
  • No toothpaste?
  • You're asking me to choose?!

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

-Oracle- posted in Friends:
"I'm finally learning to walk away from the people and situations that threaten my happiness, peace of mind, self respect and self worth." Most kids at my school pretend to be someone they're not purely to conform with their peers. [s] [c] [r] [e] [w] conformity. 
reply about 2 hours
Write an anonymous note. And tell him to put it somewhere that only you can get it back to see what he says.
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hey, i got a question, how would you get over a major mess-up, then try to act attractive, so you would still have a chance at maybe making a relationship with your crush.
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Ok, so how would you tell a crush you like them without them knowing it's you?
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drowning posted in Friends:
I've been there when I was still in school. I don't personally have many friends now that I'm graduated, but that's more because the people here aren't worth being friends with. Off topic, my bad- Anyways, just try being a nice person. Sit with the other kid that's alone during lunch, find someone who needs someone to talk too, be open. I realize this can be difficult to do if you're shy, believe me, I've been there as well. Just remember that you need to stay yourself. I've lost friends because they turned out to be someone totally different than how they made themselves out to be. It's not worth it to pretend you're someone else. If it doesn't happen naturally after a little while, then you just have to keep in mind that it's your turn to put yourself out there. Remember that, "hey, I put myself out there and I made a friend, that's pretty cool." But, also remember that, "hey, I put myself out there and I didn't make a friend, that's pretty okay too." If you put yourself out there and someone doesn't accept it, then that's okay. It just means they weren't meant to be your friend and someone else will come along much better for you.
reply about 19 hours