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Spare a Square?

Bathroom Blues.
Spare a Square?
No Toilet Paper!?!
Spare a Square?

How often have you been stuck in a public bathroom stall with no toilet paper after doin' your business? What do you do? This embarrassing situation is common among all of us but rarely talked about. I'm here to expose the already exposed, but in a slightly different way.

Here are some ways to deal with the situation:

1) Before you even start to pee you should check to see if there is any toilet paper, but I know that us crazy humans forget to do this all the time. So if you forgot to check and you're stuck:

  • Peer underneath the stall walls to see if anyone is there. But make sure you don't peer too far because you don't wanna invade anyone's privacy. If someone's there, you're set. Ask them if they can "Spare a Square," as Seinfeld's Elaine says, and you're set.
  • If no one's there, things get a little more uncomfortable. There are still options but they ain't pretty. You can:

a) Drip-dry. But of course this only applies if peein' is all you've been doin'.

b) Venture off into the wild depths of the tile-laden jungle with your pants around your ankles, searching for the TP that lies in the surrounding stalls. The problem with this is that, well... your pants are around your ankles because doin' 'em up could get messy. So this technique has to be done as quick as possible to avoid someone walking in on you and your assets.

c) If you think someone walking in on you would be way too hard to deal with, there are ways to get around it... if you're limber. You can do the "duck and roll" underneath the stall wall, or you can climb over top of it. Of course, if you get stuck in either position it would automatically be on your "most embarrassing moments" list.

d) Then there's my personal worst way to deal with the no TP situation. It's using that awful, hard cardboard tube that is left over when all the soft cushiness of toilet paper is gone. Frankly, this solution sucks. It's half a solution because it has no absorbing qualities and the risk of clogging the toilet is huge.

e) And if any of you have travelled to India, you'll know that finding toilet paper in the stalls there is weirder than not finding it here. They don't wipe, they splash. Keep it in mind.

Whatever decision you make won't be easy. Just go for it with confidence and you'll be fine, and hopefully dry.

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Comments

Shrimpo

Shrimpo wrote:

Hahahahahahahahahahaaa! The Seinfeld refrance was just too much!!lol. I have watched a...
commented: Thu Apr 03, 2014

Jordan

Jordan wrote:

hahaha
commented: Wed Apr 02, 2014

Wooper1255

Wooper1255 wrote:

I one time did that... so I crawled under the stall next to me... ugh... at least no on...
commented: Wed Apr 02, 2014

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  • No toilet paper?
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Dear Dish-It in the forums

BadwolfDW
BadwolfDW posted in Friends:
So i  agree with miley15 i think you guys should all meet up and tell them they can't leave or interrupt each other untill the issue is resolved let girl 2 know that the more she askes the less girl 1 will want to be her friend , also tell girl 1 that she shouldn't just run away.  Girl 1 is trying to be friends with girl2 but  i mean they dont need to bff's but they should not make a big deal of each other. 
reply about 8 hours
sugarpetals
my parents would be around 7
reply about 10 hours
Pink_Kitty
My parents are very lenient about chores and messing around but they are NOT lenient at all about lying, respect, homework or safety stuff.
reply about 10 hours
miley15
miley15 posted in Friends:
ahaaaa...that's sorta confusing and annoying at the same time...but don't u think if they were really your friends they would listen to u? if they are really interested in being friend with u so tell em that u cannot stand this situation anymore and ask them politely but firmly to try to understand each other...or ur friendship will be ruined...i'm sure talking always solves any problems...
reply about 10 hours
avatar-me
avatar-me posted in Friends:
Ok here's what's going on. Girl1 (my best friend) can't stand girl2 (my other friend). And girl2 wants to be friends with girl1 but girl1 doesn't want to be friends with girl2. And girl2 keeps messaging girl1 and girl1 keeps telling her she doesn't want to be her friend. got you confused yet?  So this is what is making me write this. My best friend said that if I keep hanging around my other friend she will try to be nice. But every time those two are in the same place girl2 asks girl1 why they can't be friends and that just sets girl1 off. And then I have to stop it. I love how my best friend is willing to hang around my other friend for me but I hate how my other friend won't stop bringing up why the two of them can't be friends. No matter how much girl1 and I tell her that girl1 doesn't want to be her friend she keeps asking. I like hanging out with both of them but not at the same time and when I hang out with one and not the other they ask why and I spending more time with the other one then with them. I can't take it anymore!!!  Please help me me before I loose it,              avatar-me
reply about 10 hours

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