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Spare a Square?

How often have you been stuck in a public bathroom stall with no toilet paper after doin' your business? What do you do? This embarrassing situation is common among all of us but rarely talked about. I'm here to expose the already exposed, but in a slightly different way.

Here are some ways to deal with the situation:

1) Before you even start to pee you should check to see if there is any toilet paper, but I know that us crazy humans forget to do this all the time. So if you forgot to check and you're stuck:

  • Peer underneath the stall walls to see if anyone is there. But make sure you don't peer too far because you don't wanna invade anyone's privacy. If someone's there, you're set. Ask them if they can "Spare a Square," as Seinfeld's Elaine says, and you're set.
  • If no one's there, things get a little more uncomfortable. There are still options but they ain't pretty. You can:

a) Drip-dry. But of course this only applies if peein' is all you've been doin'.

b) Venture off into the wild depths of the tile-laden jungle with your pants around your ankles, searching for the TP that lies in the surrounding stalls. The problem with this is that, well... your pants are around your ankles because doin' 'em up could get messy. So this technique has to be done as quick as possible to avoid someone walking in on you and your assets.

c) If you think someone walking in on you would be way too hard to deal with, there are ways to get around it... if you're limber. You can do the "duck and roll" underneath the stall wall, or you can climb over top of it. Of course, if you get stuck in either position it would automatically be on your "most embarrassing moments" list.

d) Then there's my personal worst way to deal with the no TP situation. It's using that awful, hard cardboard tube that is left over when all the soft cushiness of toilet paper is gone. Frankly, this solution sucks. It's half a solution because it has no absorbing qualities and the risk of clogging the toilet is huge.

e) And if any of you have travelled to India, you'll know that finding toilet paper in the stalls there is weirder than not finding it here. They don't wipe, they splash. Keep it in mind.

Whatever decision you make won't be easy. Just go for it with confidence and you'll be fine, and hopefully dry.

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12 Comments

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What Would Be Worse?

  • No toilet paper?
  • No milk for your cereal?
  • No toothpaste?
  • You're asking me to choose?!

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

LUCYQWERTY123
hey there!! well i suggest u to answer back cause i think he missed u cause he hasnt see u for a year and i know he is estranged but if u answer back maybe he wont be strange so yeah :D :D :D
reply 3 days
MysticalC
My dad and I are kind of estranged, we haven't spoken in a year. So my mom decides it would be a good idea to let him message me. He texted me while I was at school and now I have no idea what to do. All he said was 'Hi _, how is school?'. Do I reply? Do I not? If I do, what do I say? My mom and grandparents are no help, they just cracked jokes about it. KidzWorld has helped me with a hell lot of things, I better not be let down this time.
reply 3 days
jordand08
Just act like you were introducing him as one of your friends. Be yourself, wear stuff that’s comfortable. It’s okay to be nervous because everyone will be. Just hang out and have fun.
reply 4 days
Fireworksirl360
one day I was eating lunch with my friends and two boys, (I'm a girl). when one boy told his friend and some other people, everyone but me who he had a crush on. At the end of lunch someone told me and it was me, later on he confirmed it and his friend told us he was on the verge of tears because I found out. people were telling everyone he liked me. Earlier I told him I liked him as not to make him feel bad, he told his friend who told everyone. soon rumors were started my best friend and his had teamed up to make an unstoppable rumor making and spreading team.  on monday it was our all day field trip and he needed to tell me something so on the way back we sat together across from his friend. She asked him if he still liked me. I covered my eyes but could still see and he was saying no but nodding his head. I told him to just tell me and he said yes. By then the rumors were getting really bad so in order to stop them we started hanging out, and became best friends. its summer now and we text each other all the time but we are just friends the rumors have blown over but now another has become true. through all of this,  I really like him now. I don't know I f he still likes me but I know that I really want him too because I really like him now! What do I do? Please help me! I'm so lost! this is all like a nightmare! what if it starts again. What do I do!
reply 4 days
imtcutiie
imtcutiie posted in Style:
DONT DO IT JUST PLEASE #### #### #### ......... CHANGING EYE COLOR  JUST WRONG
reply 6 days