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Dear Dish-It: My Friend Gossips

Dear Dish-It,

My friend is always talking about guys she’s crushing on or other girls that we know. I’ve told her she should try talking about other things but she doesn’t listen. What should I do?


Dear GT,

Sounds like your friend is quite the gossip. What exactly is gossip? Well, gossip is casual talk about other people and their personal matters and affairs. There is “good gossip,” which basically just provides basic information about other people and what they’re up to, and then there’s “bad gossip,” which is essentially good gossip turned bad. In other words, bad gossip happens when all that casual talk turns harmful. The thing about bad gossip is that it has the ability to spread and affect everything it touches – in a bad way.

Most kids your age feel that if everyone else is doing it, and if they see and hear it everywhere, then gossip can’t be such a bad thing, can it? Maybe this is what your friend thinks, and why she can’t stop gossiping about other people even when you ask her to. Maybe if you gave your friend some more information and facts about how much bad gossip can affect people she’ll be more inclined to stop. Here is some information that may help you stop your friend from gossiping in the future.

How Gossip Affects Those Being Gossiped About

  • It can ruin their reputation
  • It can humiliate them
  • It can raise doubts and cause mistrust
  • It can destroy friendships
  • It can expose secrets that should be kept private
  • It can make people feel bad about themselves
  • It can cause low self-esteem … or worse

How Gossip Affects Those Doing The Gossiping

  • It can give them a bad reputation as someone who’s mean and not trustworthy
  • It can make them lose friends
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How Often Do You Gossip?

  • Every second of the day.
  • Only when I hear something really juicy.
  • I try not to gossip about people cuz it's mean.
  • Never - I know how to keep my mouth shut.

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Dear Dish-It in the forums

Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Maybe he likes you, as a friend or as more.
reply about 9 hours
Kirsteeeeen posted in Friends:
Friends grow apart as we grow up and change at different rates. It's fine to stop being friends, but it doesn't have to be in a mean way. The best thing to do is talk to her (nicely). You don't have to tell her she's being childish or you feel as if you've matured more. That would be terrible. Talk about things you guys like to do in common or make plans to try new things together. Or don't mention it at all, but don't just begin ignoring her. Eventually the friendship will fade the less time you spend together. 
reply about 11 hours
Amalegend20 posted in Friends:
You should be nice to her. If you have to break the news gently don't make her feel bad just talk to her about and see what she says  
reply 1 day
hugebear posted in Friends:
My bff and I were best friends but weve grown apart im getting older and she still wants to do kid stuff I have new friends now I feel like im being mean to her but like doesn't she get the memo I feel both guilty and mad:} Gosh.... put the shoe on  the other foot and see how would you feel if your bff done this on you. You has been bffs for the long time [Im guessing] and your maturing faster than her.  I agrees you are being mean to her if you doesnt discuss how your feeling with her and ignoring / avoiding her or whatever your doing.    She has been the good friend to you and she deserves to understand if you is growing up faster than her.  I really feels sad for how she could be feeling right now. She didnt do anything wrong.  You changed. Not her. Please be nice to your friend/ex friend and let her down gently [if you really has to] ^^ Me opinion  
reply 1 day
Desiixx posted in Friends:
Don't worry about it. Friends grow apart. That's how things go. Just talk to her about it, she'll understand. 
reply 1 day

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