Fashion Police :: 2002 Academy Awards (pg. 2)

Russell Crowe.

The Oscars for Fashion Disasters Go To...

Worst Dressed Female Nominee: We have a tie! Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Connelly will have to share this trophy. Nicole, who usually looks pretty good at these fashion-fests, was playing the invisible girl this time. Her Chanel dress was almost as pasty white as her skin and the overall effect made her look like a ghost from her flick, The Others. Jennifer Connelly may have won a little golden guy for Best Supporting Actress but she won't win one for Best Supporting Dress. It was a weird, just plain ugly, faded color with an unflattering neckline. Oh yeah, and did she have a heinous incident with her neighbor's cat while climbing into the limo? All the shredded fabric made me think something had attacked her dress.

Worst Dressed Male Nominee: Crusty Rusty wins hands-down. Russell Crowe was his usually happy self. (It's amazing this man's nickname isn't "Sunshine" because he always seems so perky - not!) It looked like someone found him sleeping in an alley in his suit and dragged him into the show without giving him a razor. Hey, beards aren't bad, I guess, but they do require some sort of maintenance. And this Aussie needs to start joggin' around the outback, he's not the Gladiator he used to be.

Worst Dressed Couple: Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman. Okay, they're new parents and you have to cut them some slack because it ain't easy caring for a newborn. But seriously, Ethan Hawke has looked like an early 1990s grunge-head since before it was cool.... Well, guess what? It's not cool anymore. Dude, shower already! And Uma's hair was way weird and her dress, way small in the top area. And why didn't someone - anyone - tell Ethan about that giant blob of lipstick on his cheek? I thought he'd been slugged by someone on the red carpet.

Worst Dressed Presenter: Gwyneth Paltrow. She was the scariest looking thing I have ever seen. Seriously. Her top was this puckered see-thru thing, her make-up made her look like a rabid raccoon, her top made her stomach look all rolly and freaky, her hair looked like something from The Sound of Music or the can of a Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate box and... did we mention her top? It still gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it.