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Dear Dish-It: My Boyfriend Or My Best Friend?

Dear Dish-It,
i have a boyfriend and his name is daniel. My best friend likes him and im afraid shes going to be mad at me if she finds out im dating him and i cant lose my best friend again. im nervous! what do i do!?
Cinderella


Dear Cinderella,


If you really like this guy and want to see where things with him could go, then you’ve got to tell your best friend how you feel. Will it hurt her? Yeah, probably. But it will sting so much more if you don’t clue her in.


So sit your best friend down and talk to her about how you feel. Make sure she understands how much you care about her and her feelings, and that while you would never want to do anything to hurt or betray her, you really like this guy, and if it’s OK with her, you’d like to give things a shot with him.


Of course she may say that it’s not OK with her and she’d prefer if you didn’t go after him. If that happens, you have a choice to make. You can either go for him anyway and risk losing your friend, or you can respect her wishes.


But the important thing to realize is that you deserve happiness and if you truly like this guy you have every right to go for him, but in doing so, be open and honest with your best friend and show consideration for her feelings. If you expect her to be a good friend to you then you need to do the same for her.



2 Comments

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

PotterDrinksWater
While engagement isn't illegal for juveniles, marriage is as you can already tell. Judging by your feelings, I don't think the relationship will last long enough for him to be able to wait. I heard some courts will allow it, depending on location. Knowing whether her engagement is okay is a tricky thing. She seems pretty confident in the relationship. As for your own feelings, how well do you know him? Do you have any knowledge about him outside their love life? Do her parents know anything about him? If you don't now the answers, don't be afraid to ask them to her or her parents. I'm also a 16-year-old girl and I don't feel comfortable with it. Many young adults have a hard time understanding the transition from  teen to adult, but if he's put his problems on her, that's a bad sign. I don't think 5 months is long enough in my opinion and I think this could lead to making bad habits in a relationship. I appreciate that you're trying to help your friend be safe. Hopefully some of her closest people will help her with you. They don't necessarily have to steer her against him, but they should help guide her into deciding what's best ad how to carry on from that.
reply about 8 hours
CaptJolee
CaptJolee posted in Friends:
I don't even think that legal for a adult to marry a teen I think you should ask that part to make sure my theory is correct
reply about 11 hours
Boysrock50
Boysrock50 posted in Friends:
Do your parents know her parents? Maybe you could get your parents to speak to hers. Or if not, maybe tell her parents yourself that you're concerned. Try speaking to her and making sure she's 100% sure about what she's doing?
reply about 12 hours
KittyChes16
KittyChes16 posted in Friends:
So last year my friend got engaged at the age of sixteen to a guy of twenty-one and they only dated for 5 months at the time. I'm afraid she's making a mistake. They're still together, but her guy seems like he has a temper and might get abusive in the future.  What should I do? 
reply about 13 hours
DaEpicMuffin
DaEpicMuffin posted in Style:
50% Tomboy 20% Goth 30% Normal
reply about 22 hours