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Dear Dish-It: My Boyfriend Or My Best Friend?

Dear Dish-It,
i have a boyfriend and his name is daniel. My best friend likes him and im afraid shes going to be mad at me if she finds out im dating him and i cant lose my best friend again. im nervous! what do i do!?
Cinderella


Dear Cinderella,


If you really like this guy and want to see where things with him could go, then you’ve got to tell your best friend how you feel. Will it hurt her? Yeah, probably. But it will sting so much more if you don’t clue her in.


So sit your best friend down and talk to her about how you feel. Make sure she understands how much you care about her and her feelings, and that while you would never want to do anything to hurt or betray her, you really like this guy, and if it’s OK with her, you’d like to give things a shot with him.


Of course she may say that it’s not OK with her and she’d prefer if you didn’t go after him. If that happens, you have a choice to make. You can either go for him anyway and risk losing your friend, or you can respect her wishes.


But the important thing to realize is that you deserve happiness and if you truly like this guy you have every right to go for him, but in doing so, be open and honest with your best friend and show consideration for her feelings. If you expect her to be a good friend to you then you need to do the same for her.



2 Comments

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

AnnaOfExquizurd
Okay, @Abbergrl I'm glad I could help! :D
reply 33 minutes
Abbergrl
Abbergrl posted in Friends:
Thanks @AnnaOfExquizurd that may be very useful to me. And it sounds cool too! :D I thought about just thinking about the positives but didn't really work. I'll try this too!
reply 34 minutes
Abbergrl
Abbergrl posted in Friends:
"Kawaiiqueen389" wrote:My bff is being taken away from me by another girl in our year who is mean to me ...  I really miss her .. What shall I do? That's terrible and has happened and will probably happen with me again. I think you should try being nice to that mean girl even though you don't really like her. If she makes a joke about you just try to laugh at it, don't be hurt by it or make a mean comment back. :)
reply 38 minutes
country_girl19
If you really want to get rid of the romantic feelings for him, just try picturing a future with him, and also asking these questions in your head, "Is he a good guy?" "Would we last?" But maybe he's acting awkward around you, because your friend asked him to Prom, but he might rather go with you, but doesn't know how to say anything about the situation. I would suggest talking to him about it, and if he is a jerk about it, don't bother. But talk to him first, and if he has the same feelings, then talk to your friend about it. I just want to warn you, that if you do this, you and others could get their feelings hurt. Crushes are a risky, scary thing in high school. Anyway, that's what I think you should do. If you don't want to do that, then follow what your intuition tells you.
reply about 1 hour
Lotushorn15
I had a crush on this new guy, and it's really the first crush I had in a long time. But, he is so amazing that everyone else seems to have a crush on him too. In my family, I can't date until I'm 16 anyway. But my best friend just asked him out to prom. I realized that she likes him a lot and tried to let go of my feelings for him. I am not angry with her at all, if she wants to date him, great. But, it's been hard to let go of my feelings completely. I'm convinced though I just want to be his friend. However, I think he knows I used to have a crush on him, and he acts a little awkward around me, but I don't want to feel that way for him anymore. How can I get rid of my romantic feelings for him (should I? It's being the bigger person) and gain his friendship/lose the awkwardness?
reply about 2 hours