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Dear Dish-It: I’m Worried About My BFF

Dear Dish-It,
my bff is 14 and she is dating a guy who is 16 and he has a son so i am worried a bout my bff what should i do?
icy girl


Dear icy,


Well, the first thing you can do is talk to your best friend about the situation and explain to her why you are worried about her boyfriend. But, instead of giving her a lecture, try talking to her in a way that will make her come to her own decision about the guy she is dating.


In order to do that, you can try asking her questions that she can answer herself that will make her feel like she deserves to be with someone better than the guy she currently likes. Ask her if she’s really ready to take on the responsibility of someone else’s child, and if she realizes that no matter what, this guy will always have another woman in his life – his son’s mother. Is she ready to deal with that?


Beyond that, I’m afraid there’s not much more you can do. Just be there and be a friend to her. Even if you have a really strong feeling that what she’s getting involved with is wrong, there’s not much that will help besides talking to her and letting her come to you when she needs an ear to listen.



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Dear Dish-It in the forums

worldqweencc
worldqweencc posted in Friends:
I'm not quiet sure what's a real friend and what's a fake one anymore. I know when there's a friend who's only a school friend rather than an 'outside' friend as well, but at the same time it makes me so confused. Here's my story: There's a girl named Xian. We had a unique way of becoming friends ... but it clicked. For the whole year I've been trying to keep in contact with her ... but she's not very willing to try and put in any effort to stay in contact with me. Her personality is beyond sweet, and her skills at art are even better. If she was to have an award, it would be a giant trophy with her face plastered on it and big bold letters listing 'Nicest Girl In The World!' ... Its just ... she lied to me.  I was all about this friendship. I was ... i'll admit ... sort of a lost puppy following around her owner.  So, I got her this T-Shirt she really wanted for her birthday, and not long her birthday was mine, April First. I was expecting at least a letter, or maybe even something cheap. It didn't really matter to me.  But on my birthday she didn't even come to school. Nor when she got back did she ever say sorry, or give me any be-lated gift of any sort.  That should have been my first clue. Even my mother started catching on. My second clue was she even told me she was oblivious and wasn't good at keeping in contact. I thought she was joking. How could a friendship so sweet be tossed out just like that? My third one was near the end of school, one of her friends in elementary was bragging about the plushies she got from Xian. Apparently she had four from her.  Xian had originally told me it was AGAINST her religion to give out gifts to other people. I knew she wasn't lying about her religion in general, because I met her mom on a field trip and she was quiet ... different. But I didn't understand why Xian had gotten so many small plushies for her, and yet not a single small stamp for me? My last clue was the last day of school. She didn't even try to say good-bye or even hang out with me for that matter. I know what you're thinking. "Girl, you've gotta be kidding me if you can't see that she has no intention of being your friend!" But this girl was the nicest to me. She stood next to me during harsh times, and comforted me when I was down. She told me I was important.  And you don't get many friends to do those special things to you. It was rare to have a friend make me feel so tall and worthy.  ... So ... I can't understand ... why'd she do all that .... and suddenly ... just ... walk away ...
reply about 6 hours
catsandpizza
catsandpizza posted in Style:
American Apparel croptop, Juicy Couture velvet sweatpants and Uggs
reply about 10 hours
Heyyyyy_
Heyyyyy_ posted in Friends:
"donteatcarrots" wrote:I dunno, looks like something more than being friends is going on here. It's probably best to ask her face-to-face though, before jumping to conclusions. ^^^
reply about 11 hours
catsandpizza
catsandpizza posted in Friends:
depends 
reply about 11 hours
-Gwen9--
-Gwen9-- posted in Friends:
I don't know. It honestly could be that she likes you, or she is just a really good friend.
reply about 11 hours

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