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Dear Dish-It, My Friend Dumped Me

Dear Dish-It,

I am 14 years old and I have two best friends. In school I had friends, but they were the not so popular kids. I finally found this one girl who seemed really nice but then started being mean. There are these two other girls who she always hangs with and never calls me or anything - and then she started talking about me behind my back. When we are alone we usually get along but when another person is around she ignores me and I am the one usually left out and she doesn't seem to care. But if I stop being her friend then I am scared I won't have any. I want to be popular. Can you tell me how to get over her and how to make new friends. Thank you so much.
In need of help


Dear In need of help,

I'm a little confused by your letter. First you say you have two best friends, then you say you're worried about having no friends. Listen, even if this girl who is mean to you is your only friend in the universe, you are better off without her damage. She's not a friend at all. It sounds kinda like she's using you - for what I don't know. Maybe she's got no self-esteem and always has to be around someone so she calls you to fill the space. Maybe she does really like you but is scared you won't fit in with her other peeps. In the end, her reason for the cruelty isn't as important as the fact that she is, in fact, a brat to you.


It's going to be hard but you need to let go. If she's popular it's not for the right reasons cuz she's obviously not a very nice person. And what exactly is popular anyway? To me, it's being better than normal at being average. Popular people aren't usually the ones who stand-out cuz they do their own thing. I know right now it seems like what every single person in school (including your janitor) thinks of you is important, but in the long run - it ain't. Take a chill pill when it comes to the quest for popularity and focus your energy on being a good person and finding good peeps to hang with. In the end, you'll enjoy your teen years a lot more.


Dear Dish-It,

Me and my friend Lauren WERE friends for 11 1/2 years, then two years ago she stopped talking to me. I thought she was just busy. So one day I had a different friend come over (April) and me and her were playing in the snow. Lauren came out with her neighbor and started a fight with me and April! They said we have no friends (which isn't true) and everything. Then, a different day, Lauren did it again on the school bus and me and April told the assistant principal, and the assistant principal talked to Lauren, but it didn't help at all. I just got a two month-old beagle puppy and Lauren came over to see the puppy and when I'm around my mom she acts like and angel but she isn't. I really want to be friends with her again but she doesn't want to be friends with me. I miss her and our friendship. How can I talk to Lauren without her getting an attitude? *Cries* I miss Lauren. Even though she lives right next to me, I'm nervous to talk to her and ask her if we can be friends again! HELP! *cries some more*
dreamstreethotgrl


Dear dreamstreethotgrl,

Why in the world do you still want to be friends with a girl who is bent on making you miserable? Come on, girlfriend, I don't even know you and I know you deserve better. Here's the dealio - the Lauren you know doesn't want to come out and play anymore. She's turned into a different person for some reason and this person ain't at all sugar and spice - or anything nice. It's okay to miss her and stuff, but I would just move on. You could always write her a letter, since she lives next door. I'd just say something like: "Look Lauren, I thought we were great friends and I loved hanging with you but you've changed and you're mean and I can't hang with you like that. If you ever want to try and be my friend again, let me know. If not let it go and don't keep buggin me, K?" Leave it at that. That way you get to say your peace and not deal with her 'tude. Good luck and keep hanging with April and your other nice friends. Give your beagle a pat for me!


So, ya got a burnin' question? Need some love direction? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex, how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. But remember, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your "username," ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one will ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters every day, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble! Oh! And if ya got words of wisdom you wanna share, we'll dish 'em up, too.


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    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    donteatcarrots
    donteatcarrots posted in Friends:
    This is a really weird situation... Maybe she's feeling sorry for you?
    reply about 7 hours
    AnneS12
    AnneS12 posted in Family Issues:
    Well That is your choice who you want to stay with.Nobody can force you about it.When your parents see a family<a data-cke-saved-href=" lawyer, then he will ask you whom do you want to stay with and jury will decide.So dont worry .
    reply 1 day
    worldqweencc
    worldqweencc posted in Friends:
    I'm not quiet sure what's a real friend and what's a fake one anymore. I know when there's a friend who's only a school friend rather than an 'outside' friend as well, but at the same time it makes me so confused. Here's my story: There's a girl named Xian. We had a unique way of becoming friends ... but it clicked. For the whole year I've been trying to keep in contact with her ... but she's not very willing to try and put in any effort to stay in contact with me. Her personality is beyond sweet, and her skills at art are even better. If she was to have an award, it would be a giant trophy with her face plastered on it and big bold letters listing 'Nicest Girl In The World!' ... Its just ... she lied to me.  I was all about this friendship. I was ... i'll admit ... sort of a lost puppy following around her owner.  So, I got her this T-Shirt she really wanted for her birthday, and not long her birthday was mine, April First. I was expecting at least a letter, or maybe even something cheap. It didn't really matter to me.  But on my birthday she didn't even come to school. Nor when she got back did she ever say sorry, or give me any be-lated gift of any sort.  That should have been my first clue. Even my mother started catching on. My second clue was she even told me she was oblivious and wasn't good at keeping in contact. I thought she was joking. How could a friendship so sweet be tossed out just like that? My third one was near the end of school, one of her friends in elementary was bragging about the plushies she got from Xian. Apparently she had four from her.  Xian had originally told me it was AGAINST her religion to give out gifts to other people. I knew she wasn't lying about her religion in general, because I met her mom on a field trip and she was quiet ... different. But I didn't understand why Xian had gotten so many small plushies for her, and yet not a single small stamp for me? My last clue was the last day of school. She didn't even try to say good-bye or even hang out with me for that matter. I know what you're thinking. "Girl, you've gotta be kidding me if you can't see that she has no intention of being your friend!" But this girl was the nicest to me. She stood next to me during harsh times, and comforted me when I was down. She told me I was important.  And you don't get many friends to do those special things to you. It was rare to have a friend make me feel so tall and worthy.  ... So ... I can't understand ... why'd she do all that .... and suddenly ... just ... walk away ...
    reply 2 days
    catsandpizza
    catsandpizza posted in Style:
    American Apparel croptop, Juicy Couture velvet sweatpants and Uggs
    reply 2 days
    Heyyyyy_
    Heyyyyy_ posted in Friends:
    "donteatcarrots" wrote:I dunno, looks like something more than being friends is going on here. It's probably best to ask her face-to-face though, before jumping to conclusions. ^^^
    reply 2 days

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