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Dear Dish-It, My Friend Dumped Me

Dear Dish-It helps teenagers out with dating, love, friendship and sex questions.
Advice on Friendship

Dear Dish-It,

I am 14 years old and I have two best friends. In school I had friends, but they were the not so popular kids. I finally found this one girl who seemed really nice but then started being mean. There are these two other girls who she always hangs with and never calls me or anything - and then she started talking about me behind my back. When we are alone we usually get along but when another person is around she ignores me and I am the one usually left out and she doesn't seem to care. But if I stop being her friend then I am scared I won't have any. I want to be popular. Can you tell me how to get over her and how to make new friends. Thank you so much.
In need of help


Dear In need of help,

I'm a little confused by your letter. First you say you have two best friends, then you say you're worried about having no friends. Listen, even if this girl who is mean to you is your only friend in the universe, you are better off without her damage. She's not a friend at all. It sounds kinda like she's using you - for what I don't know. Maybe she's got no self-esteem and always has to be around someone so she calls you to fill the space. Maybe she does really like you but is scared you won't fit in with her other peeps. In the end, her reason for the cruelty isn't as important as the fact that she is, in fact, a brat to you.


It's going to be hard but you need to let go. If she's popular it's not for the right reasons cuz she's obviously not a very nice person. And what exactly is popular anyway? To me, it's being better than normal at being average. Popular people aren't usually the ones who stand-out cuz they do their own thing. I know right now it seems like what every single person in school (including your janitor) thinks of you is important, but in the long run - it ain't. Take a chill pill when it comes to the quest for popularity and focus your energy on being a good person and finding good peeps to hang with. In the end, you'll enjoy your teen years a lot more.


Dear Dish-It,

Me and my friend Lauren WERE friends for 11 1/2 years, then two years ago she stopped talking to me. I thought she was just busy. So one day I had a different friend come over (April) and me and her were playing in the snow. Lauren came out with her neighbor and started a fight with me and April! They said we have no friends (which isn't true) and everything. Then, a different day, Lauren did it again on the school bus and me and April told the assistant principal, and the assistant principal talked to Lauren, but it didn't help at all. I just got a two month-old beagle puppy and Lauren came over to see the puppy and when I'm around my mom she acts like and angel but she isn't. I really want to be friends with her again but she doesn't want to be friends with me. I miss her and our friendship. How can I talk to Lauren without her getting an attitude? *Cries* I miss Lauren. Even though she lives right next to me, I'm nervous to talk to her and ask her if we can be friends again! HELP! *cries some more*
dreamstreethotgrl


Dear dreamstreethotgrl,

Why in the world do you still want to be friends with a girl who is bent on making you miserable? Come on, girlfriend, I don't even know you and I know you deserve better. Here's the dealio - the Lauren you know doesn't want to come out and play anymore. She's turned into a different person for some reason and this person ain't at all sugar and spice - or anything nice. It's okay to miss her and stuff, but I would just move on. You could always write her a letter, since she lives next door. I'd just say something like: "Look Lauren, I thought we were great friends and I loved hanging with you but you've changed and you're mean and I can't hang with you like that. If you ever want to try and be my friend again, let me know. If not let it go and don't keep buggin me, K?" Leave it at that. That way you get to say your peace and not deal with her 'tude. Good luck and keep hanging with April and your other nice friends. Give your beagle a pat for me!


So, ya got a burnin' question? Need some love direction? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex, how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. But remember, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your "username," ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one will ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters every day, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble! Oh! And if ya got words of wisdom you wanna share, we'll dish 'em up, too.


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    Comments

    MonasYou

    MonasYou wrote:

    No friends dumped meh be4
    commented: Wed Jan 08, 2014

    JennyD

    JennyD wrote:

    I have no friends that have dumped me
    commented: Sun Sep 15, 2013

    luvyaseeya

    luvyaseeya wrote:

    this girl i knew since i was in 2nd grade she was nice but suddenly in 3rd grade she st...
    commented: Sun Sep 15, 2013

    there are 6 more comments

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    Poll-3

    Have You Been Dumped by a Bud?

    • Yeah... but I got over it.
    • I get into fights with friends, but we always work it out.
    • No, but I dump my friends if they do something bad to me.
    • I've never lost a friend for any reason.

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    reply about 6 hours
    Starflyamme
    Starflyamme posted in Friends:
    So I have been best friends with this girl for six years, after Halloween she has not called me, answered my calls, or come over to my house (we live close to each other and go over to our houses all the time). I don't know why she hasn't talked to me and shes the type of person if you did something to make her mad she would tell you.  I don't want to call her (it may seem needy) but I have a bunch of her stuff at my house and I really just don't want them there anymore but I don't want to call her have a huge fight and avoid each other ( which would be really hard) forever.
    reply about 6 hours
    staystrong123
    staystrong123 posted in Friends:
    This is really true and sad... Many teens, have a problem with this because of society. This post helps. I have had problem with suicide and bullying. Ive felt like I should just end it because I have no point to be here because I'm being told I'm worthless, to fat, to dumb, not pretty enough, all tons of lies and i got to the point that i believe them. I'm an outsider in my school. It fells like a lot of people leave me.  I fell pain a lot. and There is bullying going on in my school. Life fell mean less a lot. I have to remind myself that I do have a point and that people do love me.  I know know I do have a reason to live and so do you guys so  Don't ruin you're life. You're to young.  You're to worthy. The bully are just jealous of you. Don't self harm tonight. Don't comment suicide. You all are worth A lot I promise. People love you. Don't worry about hatters. The hatter are gonna hate but lovers are there to help you trough the pain and if you did comment suicide imagine how they'd fell. Thanks for posting this it really helped me and really could've saved a life:) :) Bullies are just having problems themselves remember that!!!! Stay strong everyone!!!
    reply about 8 hours
    jordand08
    "supernaturalblackcat" wrote:I know i have depession and i have been to the doctor for it. It's starting to get to that point again for the 3rd time this year that i want to be alone. It feels like no one cares about me at school. I really can't trust anybody either. I started to quit eating at home and at school only eating snacks every now and then. I am also losing Weight. I used to get called fat and i wasn't even fat. I have been abused by people who say my butt is smexy and huge and it's not. I have even been slapped on by them. I tell my mom and dad that i've been called fat and my dad ignore's me and continues whatever he's doing. I'm getting to the point again where i'm losing my temper and emotions right on the spot. I can't be bipolar cause it has to run in the family and my mom says i don't have it. People get mad at me when i don't laugh at their jokes when they expect me too cause i really don't listen. But when i say something funny they roll their eyes and give me mean looks. I don't even want to be around people that much. I just want to be outside in the fresh air during school but it's high school so their's no outside time. I also fake smile's at people to make them happy. But i just hurt on the inside. I just want advice.  Hi there. I'm sure you have people who care about you at school, just sometimes it's hard to see it. Dear, you have to eat. I assure you, you're not fat. (smexy isn't necessarily a bad thing)  You have to understand, that people say things just because they can, or to make themselves feel better. Never give them that opportunity, just ignore them. When you're about to lose your temper, think of something that makes you really happy.  If you need someone to talk to, you have your guidance consular, trust me I have social anxiety, and reallly hate talking about my problems, I find it easier for me, to message them. It's their job to listen, but not only that, they really care for all of their students. Talking helps, believe me.
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    jordand08
    "lion2a3" wrote:its beacause well people at shcool act like your friends but know deep inside i just dont have friendsand then theres bullies some picks on me for no the only place i can be myself KW so should i do suidce also im 11 No Ma'am you shouldn't. Things happen for a reason, normally to make others stronger. Trust me, nothing is worth taking your own life. If you need to talk I'm here, however I would suggest you talking to an adult.  Friends come and go. you have family, and if not, you have me, Trust me, it's not worth it. please, don't. 
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