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Dear Dish-It, Sometimes I Wish I Wasn't Me


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

Well, I live with my dad, (my mom died when I was 3,) and don't get me wrong, I love my dad. It's just that I'm 12 and I'm going though the period thing and I NEVER EVER will be able to talk to my dad about this cause he's a... a guy! Anyway my aunt and I are VERY, VERY close. She asked me if I would like to live with her for the summer. My dad said I could. Well, now summer is over and I DON'T wanna go back to my dad. My aunt asked me if I wanted her to adopt me and I said I didn't know. I LOVE my dad and I LOVE my aunt! PLZ HELP!!!
WonderinG


Dear WonderinG,

You've been put in a very difficult situation, WonderinG. You should feel lucky to have so many people who love you but I understand how it can be hard choosing between your dad and your aunt. Does your dad know about your aunt's proposal for you to live with her? I think the first thing you need to do is sit down with both your aunt and your dad to talk about this. As much as you might want to go and live with your aunt, your dad is still responsible for you and no doubt loves you more than Britney loved Justin so he's probably going to want to discuss this matter before any big move is made. If you all sit down as a family, you'll find that a compromise is made pretty quickly. I'm sure both your dad and aunt just want you to be happy. Good luck!


Dear Dish-It,

Lonely and wanna leave...


Dear Lonely and wanna leave...,

Being a teenager can really suck sometimes. You're raging with hormones and your emotions are up, and down, and all around. Your body is going through massive change and you just don't know what to do. It's easy to see why we sometimes wish we could crawl into a hole and stay there for a while. But think of all the fun things that you would miss out on if you hid away. School dances, sleepovers with your girlfriends, shopping trips, vacations and a whole lot more. And what would your family and friends think? Don't you think peeps would miss you if you suddenly weren't around? Although you feel like you're the only one who doesn't fit in right now, you've gotta try and keep your chin up. Sit down with the 'rents and talk about how you're feelin'. How 'bout taking some fitness classes, or joining a team? You can meet new people while getting into shape. You should also check out some of these resources and consider talking to a professional about what you're goin' through.


  • www.selfesteem.org
  • www.teenshealth.org

  • Getting through high school can be tough but it does get better, trust me! As for boys, they grow up eventually and you'll find someone who will fall for the real you. For now, focus on learning to be happy with yourself. Good Luck!


    I just want to say that I'm 14, 5'2,and 90+ lbs. and I still run into the same problem. Even though I'm fine with my weight, others aren't. People call me names like bones and stick, and well they can be really hurtful. So hurtful I've even done harmful things to myself. But I knew that I wasn't helping myself, only hurting myself. So no matter how much you weigh, people are going to be unhappy with you. But what really matters is that you're happy with yourself.

    Kidz Submit By:

    Nickname: AJs Princess
    Age: 14

    I think that you are just being a little to harsh on yourself. It doesn't matter what other people think. You should focus on what you think. So if you think you look great, than that is great. You should be more confident in yourself! Because it's who you are on the inside that matters.

    Kidz Submit By:

    Nickname: kewlsportsgirl
    Age: 12

    So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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  • Dear Dish-It: Friends - Are My Friends Gay?
  • Dear Dish-It: Body - My Period's Two Weeks Late
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • 76 Comments

    Related Stories

    Depression poll

    What Do You Do When You Get Blue?

    • I curl up in front of the tube with a bowl of ice cream.
    • I retreat to my room and crank the tunes.
    • I surround myself with my friends and fam.
    • I take long walks and avoid my peeps at all costs.

    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Autonomy
    Autonomy posted in Family Issues:
    "StarrChild" wrote: Two years ago my parents broke up. I was never really the same after that point. My mother she began to just not care about anything. She would go out clubbing every Friday and would yell at me for my attitude towards it. Why would I be okay with her doing that??? I didn't really realise it but I began feeling kind of depressed. Of course we didn't fight all the time but when we did I would always end up crying alone in my room. And it would be really painful. One time I cried every night for a week because of her. A week ago, I felt really sick at school so I went to the sick bay but my Mum refused to believe I was sick. She thought I was lying and being over dramatic as usual. I felt really horrible after that, that the teacher sent me to the guidance councellor and almost immediately I burst into tears. I didn't even know why I did but the councellor did a little test on me and came to the conclusion I was slightly depressed and had anxiety. It wasn't really surprising but hearing it out loud just felt really weird. Even after knowing that fact my mother doesn't really act any different. She's not a bad person I swear but she can just be really horrible at times. Anyways, that's technically whats been happening in my life lol. Nothing really interesting Oh dear, that sounds like a dreadful situation. I've lived through similar difficulties in my own life, and my heart goes out to you, truly. May I offer you some advice? I don't have the cure to your problems or a magic wand that can make them disappear, but I do believe that some good can come out of your living situation. The first thing I'd like to make note of, is that everyone makes mistakes. As human beings, we have to make mistakes. There's no way around it; it's how we learn and grow. And as we get older, we don't stop making mistakes. Your parents are no exception. Although we look to our parents for guidance, and direction, and support, we have to understand that they aren't perfect people, and they make mistakes. They may not always lead us in the right direction. They may not always set a good example. They may not always be there for us, to encourage us and support us when we need them most. And that's okay. Everyone makes mistakes, and we have to accept that. But we can't let allow other people's mistakes to hurt us, my dear. And I know it hurts. Your mum might not understand how her actions make you feel. You said you haven't been the same since your parents divorced, and I know how challenging that can be to go through. But you know, some of the brightest, wisest, and happiest people I've met, are people who have dealt with difficult problems in their lives, and used them to grow as people. You can let your parents' mistakes get to you, and make you upset and depressed; or, you can accept that they aren't perfect people, accept that they make mistakes, and accept that their mistakes don't have anything to do with you. So here's what you do, friend: you can't stop your mum from going clubbing, and that's okay. Don't try to. Don't fight with her about it. You can let her know how it makes you feel, but don't get into an argument. Accept the situation for what it is. Your mother is her own person, and she is accountable for what she does; you aren't. Next time you start to get in a fight or an argument with her, just step back, and withdraw yourself. Try it, see what happens. Once you decide not to let other peoples' failings affect you--and you do have the power to do this--then you'll find a sense of peace you probably haven't felt before. And you'll learn from your mistakes, and the mistakes of your parents, and everyone around you, and you'll be a better person. Press on.
    reply about 8 hours
    Dounuts
    Dounuts posted in Family Issues:
    Go to your neighbor's house and ask him/her to call to police.Everything will be just fine.
    reply about 14 hours
    RavenClawRaina
    my ex is going through the same thing. Call the police now. Things will get out of hand. My brothers friend has been living with us for about 2 weeks becuz his dad punched him in the face. Call 911 now. They will help you. Just say you have been abused by your family member and they will take it from there. If you want, add me and we can talk
    reply about 15 hours
    XxRuby_PhoenixxX
    If you are getting abused to the point where you bleed, call the police immediately. This isn't acceptable behavior.
    reply about 15 hours
    MRAP
    MRAP posted in Family Issues:
    Hey, Just wanted some advice to help me on what to do on this. Ever since I was 3 I've been both Verbally, Mentally, And Physically abused. To me, this is normal since it's been happening for so long. But I just can't take this thing anymore. When I get home I always get yelled at for no reason. I have been on Anti-Depressants for the past 1-2 years. Been going to counseling for 6-7 years for family. Nothing has changed yet. I just need help on how to handle this. Thanks.
    reply about 15 hours