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Dear Dish-It, What's the Point of Dating?


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

There's this girl in my class that keeps making fun of me cuz I don't wear a bra and she does! PLZ HELP ME A.S.A.P!!!!! And another problem is, I like this guy and he likes me but all of his friends keep asking me if were going out. I want them to stop bothering me!!!
SilverDragoness35


Dear SilverDragoness35,

Okay, about your first problem... tell the girl to back off. The fact is that not all girls (or boys) go through pueberty at the exact same moment so some girls are gonna start wearing the big B-R-A sooner than others. But the fact is, it's nothing to brag about either way. Tell her as much. Just look her straight in the eye and say "Why do you care what I wear and what I don't? Do I mean that much to you?" Do it with a straight face and be really serious about it. It'll make her feel stupid and hopefully she'll stop.


As for your second problem - poor you, NOT! If ya like the dude, and he likes you, then why AREN'T you going out? If ya feel like his friends are messing things up or making things uncomfortable because of their constant teasing, ignoring them is the best bet.


Dear Dish-It,

I just wanted to ask a question. I'm not from America or the West. Actually, I'm from the Middle East. Plz don't ignore this message as soon as U read Middle East. The whole "boyfriend/girlfriend" thing is not that popular here, and isn't viewed the same way as in the West. So my question is, and it may seem pretty lame, what exactly is the whole point of the boyfriend/girlfriend thing? It seems pretty pointless to me, really. Crushes, teen pregnancies, thinking you're in love - it doesn't seem like it's that important.
Einstein


Dear Einstein,

Thanks for writing in. First off, I want you to know I would NEVER ignore your question because of where you from! Dish-It is totally into insights and questions from whoever, wherever! Your comments or questions are just as important as anyone else.


Now, for your second question... I guess it's hard to say exactly what the "point" of boyfriends/girlfriends is. Dating has always been a part of North American culture. It's considered a normal part of growing up and becoming an adult. There can be problems like teen pregnancy, yes, but there are problems with every custom (everywhere)in some way or another. I personally think it is an important part of your emotional development to date and have boyfriends or girlfriends. It helps you learn to interact with others, express your feelings, develop a sense of what you want or don't want in a mate's personality, etc. I hope that answers your questions.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    What Do You Think About Dating?

    • I'm all for dating! My boyfriend/girlfriend is the coolest.
    • I'd like to date someone, but I'm cool being single.
    • Why concern yourself with dating before you're 18?
    • My mom and dad won't let me date till I'm 16.

    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Wonderfulcalico
    My parents have always been aggressive and abusive and I only just noticed it a couple months ago. Over time they've gotten worse (specifically my mother). Whenever she gets mad she'll yell at us and if she gets mad enough she'll hit and push us around. Whoever we get into arguments it's always one- sided and she always wins, even if she knows she is wrong. An argument we had not to long ago was about me not taking care of myself. She looked at my hair and started to touch it and told me "Your hair isn't soft why is it so dry, it's probably because you aren't taking care of your hair." Then she goes on to tell me that she's going to cut it and all of this other stuff when she knows I'm conscious about me looking like a boy ( Used to get called a boy for having short hair). As the argument goes on, I start to tell her things that she knows she is wrong about. She proceeds to yell at me then grabs me by the face and say "If you don't lower your tone and listen to what I'm saying I'm going to knock you in the head." Then she goes on to tell me she remembers nothing I was saying and that it's a lie. She also hit me when I didn't clean the laundry room correctly and whenever she gets fed up. I'm constantly having to watch what I say and do, because I'm scared that I'm going to end up hurt. She also likes to degrade me and tell how bad I'm doing. She's said plenty of thing like when I didn't have my bed covers tucked in she yelled at me and hit me and I said "Do you expect me to just stand here and take this", and she replied saying "That's what you are supposed to do you are the child and I am the adult, you take whatever I do until I'm done." Another time is when I had my band concert and I had to pick out the right attire. When we went shopping to get the clothing I chose slacks when she liked a skirt better, we went on to fight in the store and she bought the slacks. When we got home she said to me that real girls wear skirts and dresses and boys wear slacks and pants. This hurt me because she knows I have a past with people telling me I look like a boy etc. Another time I started to sleep on the floor, because I was practicing a minimalist life. When I left my pillows on the floor she found it and questioned me on why they were there. I told her it fell of my bed when really I left it there. Later when I told my dad, he told her and she got mad because I was getting cat hair on my pillows. She then proceeded to ask why I lied and I told her sometimes lying is better then the truth (I knew she would get mad that I was sleeping on the floor so I lied) then she told me that I was never going to have a relationship, a job, or friends ( This hurt me because I don't have friends now). She's also said that I don't take care of my body because I ate two sweets in one day which lead her to banning me from Doritos and now I have to ask to get chips and any other snack. She's told me I don't take care of my teeth because I have yellow spots from using whitening toothpaste with braces on. She's told me I don't take care of my hair so I can't wash it or do any hair style or then a bun. She had lead me to starving myself (Unless she makes me eat) and cutting myself. I've just stopped caring, because what ever I do is always wrong. I never get a choice in my activities, she controls my life in fact she me just in a different body. But what is even worse is that she's turning my dad into her. Now I have a scheduled time to eat breakfast and lunch, and to go onto my electronics. I feel like I'm in a prison with my parents constantly watching over me, in fact yesterday when I was pouring my milk my mom got out a measuring cup and poured my milk into the measuring cup and said "Why isn't this a full cup" and I replied saying "Because I don't measure my milk." Then she got angry at me. There's so much I could say about her, but I'll stop. Anyways my father is always sarcastic and he doesn't realize how much it hurts me. Today I was cleaning out my bag for next school year and my dad came in and said, "Wow, you aren't even dress yet and I had to come up here to tell you how sad." Just little things like that hurt me. My little sister got mad at me last week for sitting in a certain area and she said " Why are you sitting there," and I didn't reply because I didn't want to speak to her and she then said, "Probably because you are too stupid to answer." I wanted to break down crying then and there, but I kept it in. I've limited my talking to her, because all she does is break me down. Like when there was a Proactive commercial and she said, "Ha, you need that." That hurt me because just the other my mom was telling me how I don't take care of my face and that's why I have acne. My older sister and I barely talk, because whenever I try to talk to her she's mad for what ever reason and when my parents were talking about hitting my sister she was in the corner laughing. My cat Preston is very young and I got hi,abo a year ago. I get very sad and often cry, because I've seen him turn out scared and aggressive just like me because he's been through what I have. One time he pooped in a clothes basket (It's right next to his litter box) my mom grabbed him by the neck and hit him while she smothered his face in his poop, all while yelling at him. I was going to call the Animal Protective Services, but I got too scared and I realized how lonely I would be. Please help me I'm not sure what to do anymore. Also sorry for the very long post!
    reply about 14 hours
    Error101
    Error101 posted in Family Issues:
    Dear Kkmr324, I hope you get to feeling better as time goes on.  It does get better but like you said you can't actually get over it.  Losing someone to cancer is awful and I have never lost a friend and I hope I never will and I am so sorry that you did, but I have lost family to cancer and it is horrible.  I hope your okay. :(
    reply 2 days
    Kkrmr324
    Kkrmr324 posted in Family Issues:
    A few months ago,my friend Kendall died of cancer. It was really hard to "get over it"; because really you dont just get over it. One thing i did was find a bunch of pictures of me and Kendall and remembered all the fun we had together. And it helped! I still miss her, but good friends and family helped with that.
    reply 5 days
    Kkrmr324
    Kkrmr324 posted in Family Issues:
    A few months ago,my friend Kendall died of cancer. It was really hard to "get over it"; because really you dont just get over it. One thing i did was find a bunch of pictures of me and Kendall and remembered all the fun we had together. And it helped! I still miss her, but good friends and family helped with that.
    reply 5 days
    Tennis123
    why are you allowing that to control your happiness? why can't you have true happiness instead of chasing some dream for momentary satisfaction? You're 12. This is when your core beliefs, values, and outlooks on life start. Don't mess it up choosing to be sad over something like that.
    reply 5 days