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Dear Dish-It, I'm a Big Flirt!


Dear Dish-It, is here to whisper "ttyl after I've thought about this some more".


Dear Dish-It,

My girlfriend moved to America two years ago. We never broke up, she just moved and I loved her a lot since then. I've dated a number of other girls but my girlfriend has just moved back. What on earth shall I do?
Ryan


Dear Ryan,

Two years is a long time to go by without seeing someone. You may not have broken up with your girlfriend when she moved away but by dating other people in the past two years, you guys weren't exactly exclusive. Did she date other people while living in America? Even though you probably still have feelings for this girl, it's best if you guys just try being friends for a while. A lot of time's gone by and who knows if you'll still want to go out with each other. Give it time and don't get too serious with one another just yet.


Dear Dish-It,

I'm a big flirt and I like this boy in the 8th grade. He sees me flirting with boys everyday and I wanna go out with him but he'll probably say no cuz I'm a flirter. If we do hook up, it probably wouldn't last cuz he can't accept the fact that all I do is flirt. Please, please help!
Arzeia


Dear Arzeia,

You can't except a guy to put up with a girlfriend who flirts with a ton of other guys. You wouldn't be too appreciative of a boyfriend who kept shooting gaga eyes at other girls across the room. Since you are just guessing that this dude won't go out with you, why don't you find out for sure by asking him out? If he says yes, then give up on all your flirting games and enjoy the fruits of your flirting labor!


Dear Dish-It,

Ok, here is my problem. I am in the 9th grade and my ex is in the 8th grade and we have been broken up for about three months. But we still call each other and go out together to concerts and things. Well, he told me that he wants to go back out but he knows that he cannot be faithful. He doesn't want to hurt me but he's scared of commitment. My question is should I wait on him to become faithful or should I try to find another relationship? I don't want to hurt ANYONE but I would gladly drop anything for him and he would do the same for me. We are just scared to go out with other people and then end up hurting them cuz we want to be together. HELP ME!
tgoggins


Dear tgoggins,

Why are you and this guy playing so many games? Either you want to go out with each other or you don't. Either you just date casually or you don't date at all, because it is obvious that this dude doesn't want a steady girlfriend. If you have your heart set on dating him exclusively, then you should give up and move on to a different boy. Do not wait for him to become "faithful." Even though he might like you a lot, it sounds like you'd just be setting yourself up for major heartbreak if you waited around for him. And it seems obvious this guy wouldn't do ANYTHING for you, cuz if that was the case, he'd be able to be faithful.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to .


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    I flirt a lot with boys, and a lot of boys like me, but the boy I really like doesn't like me.
    F1032303457062

    Are You a Flirt-Aholic? Vote!

    • Yes and I can't stop! I'm a flirting machine.
    • I flirt a little - if I think someone is super cute.
    • I prefer waiting for someone to flirt with me.
    • Never! I'd be way too embarrassed.

    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    Autonomy
    "Lulu335" wrote: I live in a military family, which means we have to move A LOT. I'm halfway through 6th grade, and I'm really stressed out. The reason is because I have a guy who really likes me, and we liked each other back in the 5th grade, and he's even got me presents and everything, but now I'm starting to doubt whether I still like him or not. And he is a great guy; he's silly, funny, kind- but I just don't know if he's the right guy for me. Plus there's a friend of mine who I know likes me as more than a friend, and he's a great guy, too. I really need advise!! Oh sweetheart, your situation is so, so very far from being complicated. In fact, it's actually, entirely simple. But I'm here to help you see that, because you can't see it yourself quite yet. Brace yourself, you may never hear such advice in your life ever again. Or you might, I can't predict the future. You're in sixth grade, you said. Assuming you live in the United states and weren't held back, you're probably 12, maybe 11. The problem is, the human brain isn't fully developed until a person hits the age of about 25. This means, without debate, that your brain unable to fully grasp what being in a relationship actually entails, what it means, what the consequences are, and so forth. You can't even fathom it, my dear. I couldn't at your age; no one can. You've just begun to hit puberty at this point in your very young, completely normal life. Certain hormones are now being developed by your body that, up until puberty began, your body did not produce. Let me explain, in simple terms, what this means: these new hormones are giving you fuzzy feelings for boys, but these feelings are not what people with fully developed brains call "love." Love means being self sacrificing, compromising, giving and taking, communicating clearly and honestly, and so much more. What you're feeling is a part of love-romance-but it's not all there is to love. It's actually just a few simple chemicals being released in your brain: dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and few others. Your brain releases those chemicals when, say, you see a boy you like, and those chemicals make you feel all fuzzy inside. In fact, (brace yourself,) there's nothing inherently special about the boys you like, or the boys that like you; in fact, they're also, entirely normal, and aside from a few minor differences in character, completely like most other boys their age. Had you been born in another town, gone to another school, you would have gotten the same fuzzy feeling about whatever boy you thought you liked at that school. You see? I'm not saying this to make you feel insignificant, but perhaps the insight will make moving easier for you. The next place your militant parents settle down in will also have a middle school, with a bunch of normal 11-14 year old boys and girls, all doing the exact same things the kids at your school do right now. Does that put things in perspective for you? The world is a very, very big place, and it's home to billions upon billions of people. Your situation is far from being a needle in a hay stack; it's more like a blade of grass, in a vast field of foliage. The feelings you're feeling aren't uncommon or complicated, they just feel that way to you. (Now, really brace yourself, because this is going to get uncomfortable.) We, as people, tend to think that we're special. Each one of us a unique snowflake, drifting about in big blue sky, that exists solely to show the world how special we are. The problem is, the other seven billions snowflakes (people) think exactly like we do, and in this way, we are all the same. We think our problems are new problems that no one has ever dealt with before, and no one else could possibly understand the pain and suffering we're going through. We all think this way, by nature; but it's simply naive. Heartache and suffering have existed since people existed, and possibly before then. Your situation may not be ideal to you, but once you come to terms with the fact that life isn't ideal for anyone, you might actually feel comfort. The easiest way to cope with our many problems, is to accept them for what they are: a part of the human experience. Natural, normal, repeating generation after generation without end. Again, these are concepts that require some deep thought, and you might not fully grasp them quite yet. But remember them. With time, as you grow, think about them more, and you will find peace with your life. And remember this: although you're stuck (for now) on a giant rock hurling around the sun at an incredible speed, you're not alone. With billions of other people stuck here with you, you'll never be without friends.
    reply about 4 hours
    Fun_125
    I personally think that when you ARE ready then go for it! As long as the person you like isn't a jerk to anyone or you go for it! Just don't get too serious. It's middle school. Good luck!
    reply about 6 hours
    Error44
    "Lulu335" wrote:I live in a military family, which means we have to move A LOT. I'm halfway through 6th grade, and I'm really stressed out. The reason is because I have a guy who really likes me, and we liked each other back in the 5th grade, and he's even got me presents and everything, but now I'm starting to doubt whether I still like him or not. And he is a great guy; he's silly, funny, kind- but I just don't know if he's the right guy for me. Plus there's a friend of mine who I know likes me as more than a friend, and he's a great guy, too. I really need advise!!I know, it is too late but I think you should not go for a deeper relationship, don't make it hard for yourself and try to be his just friend because you are so young .
    reply about 9 hours
    Error44
    "queenslay173" wrote:I was at school when I noticed people started to tell me this boy liked me and I thought it was cool because I'm used to that type of stuff then we started to dated in October we broke up right before christmas and it was so strange. we got back together in the beginning of January and we broke up again on the 4 my friends are really mad at me and he seemed really upset I like him but I just don't want to be with him anymore what should I do ?- confused lover Tell him your reasons and make it clear for both of you
    reply about 9 hours
    lottie_h141
    lottie_h141 posted in Style:
    thank u!!! acc helps so much. Obvs going to superstars aswell 
    reply 3 days