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Dear Dish-It: I’m a Shopaholic!

Dear Dish-It,

I’m obsessed with shopping! I want to buy everything I see! But my parents won’t give me money anymore and with school and everything else I don’t have time to get a job. How can I kick my habit?

Shopaholic

Dear Shopaholic,

I totally get where you’re coming from – I’m sure that plenty of Kidzworld members can relate. Shopping can be fun … but it can also turn into an obsession or a really bad habit (there’s actually a term for compulsive shopping: oniomania). For that reason, it’s important to keep your shopping habits in check. Here’s my advice …

Find Out How You Really Feel

Some people say that they feel really good or happy or excited when they buy a new item. Is that how shopping makes you feel? If so, it can be a really good exercise to pay attention to your feelings – before, during and after your purchase. Sure, you may feel good while you’re buying something new, but how do you feel a few hours, days or week after you made the purchase? Chances are you don’t feel the same excitement about your purchase as you did when you were buying it – you may have even forgotten that you had had it! Remember, the “glow” or “thrill” you get from shopping doesn’t last – and that’s a good reason to keep your bad shopping habits in check and find other ways to fill your happiness quota.

Find New, Healthy Habits

Instead of shopping, why not avoid the mall altogether and start spending more time in places where the temptation to put down your credit card won’t be as bad. Hang out with friends or invite them over to your house; go to the park; start learning how to play a musical instrument. Anything to get you out of the mall and away from those cash registers! Besides, I’m willing to bet that the amount of happiness you get from these other activities will be much better and last much longer than buying another pair of jeans could ever give you!

Get Your Career in Gear

You may not have time for a job right now, but one day you will! When the time comes, you may find that your love of shopping could help you land a cool career as a buyer or merchandiser in, say, the fashion industry (if that’s what you’re interested in). By that time, hopefully, you’ll have kicked your bad spending habits and be in it for interest, rather than simply to keep your shopping obsession happy. Good luck!

Have Your Say

Has this ever happened to you? Got any good advice for Shopaholic? Leave your comment below!

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Do You Shop at Vintage Stores?

  • Yeah, it's where I find all the coolest stuff.
  • Only when I tag along with my vintage-lovin' friends.
  • I went once, but didn't have the patience to look around.
  • Vintage is used, and I don't do used.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Autonomy
Autonomy posted in Family Issues:
"StarrChild" wrote: Two years ago my parents broke up. I was never really the same after that point. My mother she began to just not care about anything. She would go out clubbing every Friday and would yell at me for my attitude towards it. Why would I be okay with her doing that??? I didn't really realise it but I began feeling kind of depressed. Of course we didn't fight all the time but when we did I would always end up crying alone in my room. And it would be really painful. One time I cried every night for a week because of her. A week ago, I felt really sick at school so I went to the sick bay but my Mum refused to believe I was sick. She thought I was lying and being over dramatic as usual. I felt really horrible after that, that the teacher sent me to the guidance councellor and almost immediately I burst into tears. I didn't even know why I did but the councellor did a little test on me and came to the conclusion I was slightly depressed and had anxiety. It wasn't really surprising but hearing it out loud just felt really weird. Even after knowing that fact my mother doesn't really act any different. She's not a bad person I swear but she can just be really horrible at times. Anyways, that's technically whats been happening in my life lol. Nothing really interesting Oh dear, that sounds like a dreadful situation. I've lived through similar difficulties in my own life, and my heart goes out to you, truly. May I offer you some advice? I don't have the cure to your problems or a magic wand that can make them disappear, but I do believe that some good can come out of your living situation. The first thing I'd like to make note of, is that everyone makes mistakes. As human beings, we have to make mistakes. There's no way around it; it's how we learn and grow. And as we get older, we don't stop making mistakes. Your parents are no exception. Although we look to our parents for guidance, and direction, and support, we have to understand that they aren't perfect people, and they make mistakes. They may not always lead us in the right direction. They may not always set a good example. They may not always be there for us, to encourage us and support us when we need them most. And that's okay. Everyone makes mistakes, and we have to accept that. But we can't let allow other people's mistakes to hurt us, my dear. And I know it hurts. Your mum might not understand how her actions make you feel. You said you haven't been the same since your parents divorced, and I know how challenging that can be to go through. But you know, some of the brightest, wisest, and happiest people I've met, are people who have dealt with difficult problems in their lives, and used them to grow as people. You can let your parents' mistakes get to you, and make you upset and depressed; or, you can accept that they aren't perfect people, accept that they make mistakes, and accept that their mistakes don't have anything to do with you. So here's what you do, friend: you can't stop your mum from going clubbing, and that's okay. Don't try to. Don't fight with her about it. You can let her know how it makes you feel, but don't get into an argument. Accept the situation for what it is. Your mother is her own person, and she is accountable for what she does; you aren't. Next time you start to get in a fight or an argument with her, just step back, and withdraw yourself. Try it, see what happens. Once you decide not to let other peoples' failings affect you--and you do have the power to do this--then you'll find a sense of peace you probably haven't felt before. And you'll learn from your mistakes, and the mistakes of your parents, and everyone around you, and you'll be a better person. Press on.
reply about 4 hours
Dounuts
Dounuts posted in Family Issues:
Go to your neighbor's house and ask him/her to call to police.Everything will be just fine.
reply about 10 hours
RavenClawRaina
my ex is going through the same thing. Call the police now. Things will get out of hand. My brothers friend has been living with us for about 2 weeks becuz his dad punched him in the face. Call 911 now. They will help you. Just say you have been abused by your family member and they will take it from there. If you want, add me and we can talk
reply about 11 hours
XxRuby_PhoenixxX
If you are getting abused to the point where you bleed, call the police immediately. This isn't acceptable behavior.
reply about 11 hours
MRAP
MRAP posted in Family Issues:
Hey, Just wanted some advice to help me on what to do on this. Ever since I was 3 I've been both Verbally, Mentally, And Physically abused. To me, this is normal since it's been happening for so long. But I just can't take this thing anymore. When I get home I always get yelled at for no reason. I have been on Anti-Depressants for the past 1-2 years. Been going to counseling for 6-7 years for family. Nothing has changed yet. I just need help on how to handle this. Thanks.
reply about 11 hours