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The Do's and Don't of Dear Dish-It

Mar 21, 2017

Many of you have written in months ago and have yet to hear back from Dear Dish-It. We apologize if that confused you or annoyed you in any way. Our Dear Dish-It had to take a temporary, but emergency leave of absence, and since no one but her has the insight, skills and empathic energy for Dear Dish-It, we couldn’t step up and take her place. We sincerely apologize and should have communicated this information much sooner. If you wrote to us and haven’t heard back, we’re not ignoring your questions. Stay tuned for weekly, theme-based “Let’s Talk About it Tuesday” articles, which might contain your question.

If you, however, notice that after some time your question or it’s topic still has not been addressed on Kidzworld in any regard, then pay close attention to this article. We will highlight the Do’s and Don’ts of Dear Dish-It, which will allow you to learn of potential reasons why your question wasn’t addressed. It will also help you to learn the most effective ways of using Dear Dish-It, which will secure your chances of being acknowledged. We want to ensure that your concerns are heard, and we are here to help you voice them right so that it gets approved for publication.

The Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It

Do: Write to Dear Dish-It if you have a relationship problem, friend problem, bullying/fitting in issue, school problem, inquiry about your crush, sexuality, race or mental health etc. If your problem fits in with what we can offer (in terms of giving advice ) we will be glad to help you, but if your concern is inappropriate in any respect, we will not be engaging with your message.

Don’t: Write to Dear Dish-It about changes in your body, bodily functions or any health concerns. We’d love to answer these questions for you, but we are not doctors and do not have the proper medical training to provide the proper answer for you. We know it can be embarrassing to address the effects of puberty, but it’s completely natural, and no one is judging you. If your problem is that you are pregnant, have been beaten or raped, you need to see a doctor right away. In the case of physical/sexual assault and sexual abuse, you need to contact the police and confide in someone close to you who can be a good support. Do not keep this to yourself. These are very serious issues and Kidzworld wants to ensure that you are getting the help you need when you need it. Don't be scared to ask for help in these situations. Whatever worries may be going on in your head (about who will be upset or could find out) need to be ruled out by the fact of what happened to you, and that it was very wrong, and should not happen again. It's not your fault, you should not feel ashamed and you should do whatever you can to help yourself through the situation. 

Do: Leave us comments about our advice, whether it is good or bad. We want to learn what is working for you on the site and what isn’t. We want to make Kidzworld a pleasant experience for everyone who is a part of it and this can be achieved through your feedback. We always encourage you to have your say because it really makes a difference and allows us to make improvements which will better suit you. 

Don’t: Write in about child abuse thinking we have the right to protect this information, we don’t. By law, it is our duty to report it, and if you are in danger, you should be doing the same thing. You might be scared to do this, but if your safety is at risk, you have to. You are welcome to share your experience with us, and we encourage you to, but this is a situation where you are in harm and we have to do whatever you can to prevent that. It is NOT okay if you are being abused by a family member and you should take action, or seek help because you are not in a safe environment. 

Do: Check out our Astrology section in addition to our new Dear Dish-It articles. Dear Dish-It is responsible for our Astrology section, and now that she is back, regular monthly horoscopes and Astrological articles about love, life, family, and career will be in full effect on Kidzworld. For instance, we have just published, “Are We Astrologically Compatible?” As well as, “What Does Your Birthday Says About Your Future Career?”. Not everyone believes in  Astrology and that’s perfectly acceptable, but Astrology can add an extra, insightful layer towards gaining insight and advice. It couldn’t hurt to invest in a spiritual approach, or give it a try and see if it at all relates to you or provides any comfort or help. 

Don’t: Write into Dear Dish-It about your site problems using Kidzworld. We have are moderators for this, or you can consult the help section. Any question unrelated to a personal problem will not be answered by Dear Dish-It. Please re-direct your questions to the proper, available sources.

Do: Encourage your friends who are struggling to write to us. If your problem is really pressing, we’ll do everything we can to ensure that you get addressed.

Don’t: Take Dear Dish-It as a joke or use it for self-amusement. Dear Dish-Dish is dealing with real problems and real people who actually need help. Don't write to Dear Dish-It unless you have a REAL problem or concern. We take everything we read very seriously, and it’s not funny to pretend that you are in crisis when you are not or send spam mail.

Do: Messages Dear Dish-It about drugs IF someone is pressuring you to use them, you are worried about a friend using them, or you are curious about using them and aren’t sure what to do, Dear Dish-It will advise in these cases. Kidzworld promotes health and safety, and Dear Dish-It will be there to remind you why it’s so important that you remain drug-free.

Don’t: Message Dear Dish-It about doing drugs or seeking advice on how to maximize drug use. Kidzworld does not support drug use of any kind, and we will not acknowledge your message if it is of this nature.

Dear Dish-It also does not provide sex tips, nor will Dear Dish-It respond to any sexual content in messages. We will explore sexuality and questions surrounding it, but we will not provide sex advice for kids and teens. Please refrain from sending messages of this kind because they will not be addressed.

Dear Dish-It is here to help you, but it’s not designed to be instantaneous. Meaning, we don’t know the exact time and length in which we will address your question, so please do not use our service if you are in a state of crisis or danger. Call 9-1-1, go to your local Emergency or call a helpline. If you are unsure of a number to call, surf the internet and something in your area should be available. If you still feel stuck, talk to an adult, tell them what is going on and let them get you the help that you need.

We really appreciate you sharing your concerns on Dear Dish-It, and we hope that you will respect these rules. They will allow us to help you better. We’re very sorry we can’t answer your questions instantly, but if for some reason if we can’t acknowledge you personally, we will address your issue in a larger capacity. Meaning, we will do a feature on the topic of your issue and provide advice within that article.

Keep in mind that many of the questions we receive are very similar in nature, so if we don’t post your question, that doesn’t mean we’re not addressing your issue or that we don't value it. It simply means that we went with someone else’s question to target the same issues that is affecting you.

Have Your Say

Have a question for Dear Dish-It, write her deardish@kidzworld.com and you could be featured on our "Let's Talk about it Tuesday."

 

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Cheating - Is It Cool Or Cruel?

  • As long as you don't get caught, it's cool.
  • Totally not cool.
  • It's not that big of a deal.
  • I think it depends on the situation.

Dear Dish-It In The Forums

KayKayZ
KayKayZ posted in Friends:
Hmm, okay, well I'll try to give you the best advice that I can, Error. So you say you don't like your friend for a number of reasons: Liar, bad influence, uses swear words, too blunt, etc. I feel like some of these could be over-looked, such as the swearing and the 'bad influence' part. Really, all you have to do is just not copy her actions, and they won't be influential at all. If you disagree, it shouldn't be hard to just refuse to follow in her steps. However, lying isn't the best quality I would look for in a friend.  She doesn't seem like an enjoyable person to be around in general, which is why you are making this post, obviously. But I'm gonna ask you something here. Don't you think that, in a way, you're lying too? You're pretending to be her friend solely for purposes of monetary value because, I assume, your family cannot pay for or get you to gymnastic class themselves. If this is true, that's kind of bad, isn't it? It sounds like, to me, that your friendship isn't exactly a healthy relationship at all. But I'm gonna sympathize with you, since I know gymnastics must be important to you, and you wouldn't be doing this if you didn't have a good reason. So, what should you do about it? Well, personally I think there are a few things you could do. You could stop being her friend, therefore no longer having to deal with her; but in the process lose access to your gymnastics class and have to look for it in another way. On the flip side, you could continue to put up with her, which would probably not be in your best interests, but you'd still get to attend your class. Or, you could try talking to her about it. Ask her what she really thinks of your friendship, if she actually values you as her friend. Maybe you two can talk about problems that you're having with each other and work on fixing them. This option could have negative effects, since she might want to stop being your friend or things could become very awkward after that. But it's probably your best bet to be honest with her, as you'd hope she would be with you. How about if you tried being really nice to her? Kindness is contagious, and perhaps if you treat her well enough, she'll start doing the same to you. I feel like maybe if you complimented her, told her things that you really like about her, maybe even got her gifts or made her food once in a while, that she would come to appreciate you and all that you do for her. And in turn, she might start to respect you more herself, and become a good friend. That's about all I can say. If you're close enough with her mom, maybe you could even try asking her about her daughter and see if she can give you any advice. Hopefully that helped in some way, but if it didn't, maybe it at least made you think? I hope your problem gets resolved, Error, and you can be content with the outcome of it. :-)
reply 4 days
Error101
Error101 posted in Friends:
Okay so I have this friend and I don't like the type of person she is and I wouldn't be friends with her but her mom takes me to gymnastics every week.  I  had her over to spend the night and she lied about everything to me.  She kept telling me that she used to think I was weird and she didn't like me and it kind of hurt my feelings...  I would never tell someone that even if it was true.  She cusses and is a bad influence and she lies a ton.  There are a ton of bad qualities about her, and very few good ones.  I can't be mean to her because she is how I get to gymnastics but I don't really want to be her friend.  What should I do?  :(
reply 4 days
Wonderfulcalico
My parents have always been aggressive and abusive and I only just noticed it a couple months ago. Over time they've gotten worse (specifically my mother). Whenever she gets mad she'll yell at us and if she gets mad enough she'll hit and push us around. Whoever we get into arguments it's always one- sided and she always wins, even if she knows she is wrong. An argument we had not to long ago was about me not taking care of myself. She looked at my hair and started to touch it and told me "Your hair isn't soft why is it so dry, it's probably because you aren't taking care of your hair." Then she goes on to tell me that she's going to cut it and all of this other stuff when she knows I'm conscious about me looking like a boy ( Used to get called a boy for having short hair). As the argument goes on, I start to tell her things that she knows she is wrong about. She proceeds to yell at me then grabs me by the face and say "If you don't lower your tone and listen to what I'm saying I'm going to knock you in the head." Then she goes on to tell me she remembers nothing I was saying and that it's a lie. She also hit me when I didn't clean the laundry room correctly and whenever she gets fed up. I'm constantly having to watch what I say and do, because I'm scared that I'm going to end up hurt. She also likes to degrade me and tell how bad I'm doing. She's said plenty of thing like when I didn't have my bed covers tucked in she yelled at me and hit me and I said "Do you expect me to just stand here and take this", and she replied saying "That's what you are supposed to do you are the child and I am the adult, you take whatever I do until I'm done." Another time is when I had my band concert and I had to pick out the right attire. When we went shopping to get the clothing I chose slacks when she liked a skirt better, we went on to fight in the store and she bought the slacks. When we got home she said to me that real girls wear skirts and dresses and boys wear slacks and pants. This hurt me because she knows I have a past with people telling me I look like a boy etc. Another time I started to sleep on the floor, because I was practicing a minimalist life. When I left my pillows on the floor she found it and questioned me on why they were there. I told her it fell of my bed when really I left it there. Later when I told my dad, he told her and she got mad because I was getting cat hair on my pillows. She then proceeded to ask why I lied and I told her sometimes lying is better then the truth (I knew she would get mad that I was sleeping on the floor so I lied) then she told me that I was never going to have a relationship, a job, or friends ( This hurt me because I don't have friends now). She's also said that I don't take care of my body because I ate two sweets in one day which lead her to banning me from Doritos and now I have to ask to get chips and any other snack. She's told me I don't take care of my teeth because I have yellow spots from using whitening toothpaste with braces on. She's told me I don't take care of my hair so I can't wash it or do any hair style or then a bun. She had lead me to starving myself (Unless she makes me eat) and cutting myself. I've just stopped caring, because what ever I do is always wrong. I never get a choice in my activities, she controls my life in fact she me just in a different body. But what is even worse is that she's turning my dad into her. Now I have a scheduled time to eat breakfast and lunch, and to go onto my electronics. I feel like I'm in a prison with my parents constantly watching over me, in fact yesterday when I was pouring my milk my mom got out a measuring cup and poured my milk into the measuring cup and said "Why isn't this a full cup" and I replied saying "Because I don't measure my milk." Then she got angry at me. There's so much I could say about her, but I'll stop. Anyways my father is always sarcastic and he doesn't realize how much it hurts me. Today I was cleaning out my bag for next school year and my dad came in and said, "Wow, you aren't even dress yet and I had to come up here to tell you how sad." Just little things like that hurt me. My little sister got mad at me last week for sitting in a certain area and she said " Why are you sitting there," and I didn't reply because I didn't want to speak to her and she then said, "Probably because you are too stupid to answer." I wanted to break down crying then and there, but I kept it in. I've limited my talking to her, because all she does is break me down. Like when there was a Proactive commercial and she said, "Ha, you need that." That hurt me because just the other my mom was telling me how I don't take care of my face and that's why I have acne. My older sister and I barely talk, because whenever I try to talk to her she's mad for what ever reason and when my parents were talking about hitting my sister she was in the corner laughing. My cat Preston is very young and I got hi,abo a year ago. I get very sad and often cry, because I've seen him turn out scared and aggressive just like me because he's been through what I have. One time he pooped in a clothes basket (It's right next to his litter box) my mom grabbed him by the neck and hit him while she smothered his face in his poop, all while yelling at him. I was going to call the Animal Protective Services, but I got too scared and I realized how lonely I would be. Please help me I'm not sure what to do anymore. Also sorry for the very long post!
reply 7 days
Error101
Error101 posted in Family Issues:
Dear Kkmr324, I hope you get to feeling better as time goes on.  It does get better but like you said you can't actually get over it.  Losing someone to cancer is awful and I have never lost a friend and I hope I never will and I am so sorry that you did, but I have lost family to cancer and it is horrible.  I hope your okay. :(
reply 9 days
Kkrmr324
Kkrmr324 posted in Family Issues:
A few months ago,my friend Kendall died of cancer. It was really hard to "get over it"; because really you dont just get over it. One thing i did was find a bunch of pictures of me and Kendall and remembered all the fun we had together. And it helped! I still miss her, but good friends and family helped with that.
reply 11 days