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Dear Dish-It Advice on Bullying

Apr 18, 2017

Recently we celebrated Anti-Bullying Day by wearing pink t-shirts. Today on Dear Dish-It, we are drawing back to the important cause, which is still affecting many kids and teens. This week’s “Let’s Talk About It Tuesday” will cover questions on bullying. This is a very serious subject, which affects a lot of kids and teens. There were countless questions from kids and teens experiencing bullying, and we hope this article will shed some light for all of you.

Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:

Question by Awesome789

Dear Dish, at school, there are these boys who play soccer every day. But they don't let any girls play. Once I asked and they made up a lie saying that the game had already started and they never let anyone who comes late join. Then I told a teacher, I finally got to play but only once. And that one time they kept swearing at me and my friends. They still never let me play. But now they are bothering me a lot in class. They keep teasing me over and over again which is bullying. And I still want to play soccer with them. The two solutions I already tried are stop trying to play with them. The second one is play with someone else. I have tried both these solutions but they are not working. Got any advice? Please help me with this situation because it is making my concentration on school go down.

Advice/Insight:

It sounds like you want to be accepted by these boys, but do you really want to play with people who bully you? Go where you are welcome, otherwise, it’s never going to feel good to be apart of something that brings you down. Good for you for sticking up for yourself, but it didn’t amount to anything positive. If anything it made things worse because now they are bothering you at school. Did you really enjoy playing soccer with those boys? Do you really want to do it again or do you just want to feel accepted by them? Don’t let them get away with bullying you. Tell someone. No one deserves that kind of treatment. Please read the “Afterthoughts” at the end of this article for some tips on dealing with bullying. Regardless, you shouldn’t want to play with people who don’t want to play with you. If they have to make up a lie, or only play with you when they are obligated to, it doesn’t sound like a fair relationship. I know it hurts, but focus on other people who want you around. Try to form your own game and make it better than theirs by letting anyone play. It’s not nice or polite to be exclusive like that and you’re better off not associating with these kinds of people.

Question by Useless

My sister is being bullied, ad really [wants] help! When my sister tells me something that happened at school and I ask her if she needs help, she says it's fine. It's now been getting worse. I keep telling her I am tired of this and going to do something about this, she says ''I can do this! I can handle this!" But all that happens is the bullying gets worse! How can I help her without her getting mad at me?

Advice/Insight:

You’re going to have to break it to your sister that there are some secrets you just can’t keep. A licensed therapist can’t keep information about a patient self-harming, or harming anyone else. Abuse is not and should not be tolerated. You need to help your sister, and while she might be mad at first, hopefully later she will be grateful because it sounds like she needs to see some change in her life. Don’t feel bad, read the Afterthoughts at the end of this article and see how you can help your sister. I would suggest talking to your parents, and then talking to the school because the longer it continues the worse it is going to be for your sister. People are often scared to speak out because they think things will get even worse. Do what you can to reassure your sister that it will all be alright. Remind her she doesn’t deserve this treatment and it hurts you too much not to do anything about it. In her own way, she is turning to you for help, she doesn’t know what else to do. Take action and don’t feel guilty about it, she will forgive you in time. Explain to her that her safety was at risk and as her sister you can’t sit back and do nothing about it. 

Bullying Breaks ConfidenceBullying Breaks Confidence

Question by babyqueenbee

Dear dish-it, how do I fit in and make friends and prevent bullying to happen to me, babyqueen OUT

Advice/Insight:

Are you currently experiencing bullying or just afraid that you might be subjected to it? Sounds like you are having a really hard time fitting in, but that you’d like to. I’d suggest talking to some new people, getting involved in school affairs, activates and sports teams. Try to be outgoing and see where that gets you. Sometimes it’s not about fitting in, but finding a few good friends we can trust and who show us, love. I get the sense that you just want a friend. You want to feel like you belong. Try some new tactics, and give it time, eventually, you will find where you fit in. For some reason, if you find that you don’t really fit it, that’s perfectly fine. Embrace your individuality and remember that this is just a part of your life, but it’s not forever, and things will change for the better.

Some of the Worst Bullying is Done OnlineSome of the Worst Bullying is Done Online

Afterthoughts

Bullying is difficult because sometimes it just doesn’t stop, even when you are trying to put an end to it, and sometimes that can make it worse. There are a lot of things you can try to see if anything changes or improves. Here are some ways that students and teachers can deal with bullying:

  • You can act with awareness and confidence
  • People are less likely to bother you if they have no effect on you. Walk away with confidence and don’t look back, get back to doing something that makes you feel good
  • Make graceful exits as the best self-defense tactic is known as “target denial”, meaning, “don’t be there.” Always leave an unsafe situation and report it.
  • If you witness bullying about to occur, look out for younger kids and standby. The simple use of your presence might stop any interactions
  • If someone near you or beside you is bullying you, tell your teacher and ask to be moved
  • Use your voice, let other people know you are in a harmful situation, don’t be afraid to shout, “Stop!” Or to yell for help
  • Practice how to call for help in a way that will bring attention to the problem. For example, “STOP! GET OUT OF MY WAY! HELP! GET THE TEACHER! ________(name) IS BULLYING ME!
  • As a witness it is your job to run and get help right away, don’t think that you shouldn’t get involved, you should
  • As a teacher, reinstate good values with your students by encouraging them to respect others and refrain from bullying of any kind
  • Teachers should also state the consequences for bullying and how there is a no tolerance policy
  • Ensure that students are aware that this lack of tolerance also applies to any online/social media bullying
  • Remind students that if they don’t feel safe speaking out about their bullying that it is their job to get an adult to help them because if no one knows about it, nothing can be done
  • Use your wise mind and speak up about bullying, even if it’s someone else in trouble, do the right thing to help prevent this cruelty. 

Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It? Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!

Have Your Say

Do you suffer from bullying? Did you find this advice helpful? Comment below!

 

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Kawai_Potato
Kawai_Potato posted in Friends:
I'm going to a new school this year for 7th grade. Its scary because the reviews online say that the kids do nasty things there, and I just want to be accepted for who I am. I want to be the one person that every one feels comfortable talking to..but the issue is, I am shy around people I do not know and it causes me to be an introvert when I can be such a social butterfly. All I need is that one friend and i'll feel on top of the world. How do I make friends and get them to accept me for who I am? The thing that most people talk about is LGBT and to be honest, I have no preference. I could date a boy or a girl. That would make it even harder to gain friends. Please help ;-; I am a potato. A shy potato :3
reply about 1 hour
drowning
drowning posted in Style:
  "imtcutiie" wrote: DONT DO IT JUST PLEASE #### #### #### ......... CHANGING EYE COLOR  JUST WRONG   Changing eye color isn't wrong. :^) But, you can't simply change it with "spells" or videos. To change your eye color, you will need to either wear contacts during the day to appear that you have different colored eyes than you truly have, or medically having a doctor perform surgical iris correction.
reply about 12 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I hope you texted back if you felt that it would be the right thing to do for yourself. I did not have a good childhood due to my birthmother and father. But, in recent time, I have come to enjoy talking to my birthfather and completely cannot stand my birthmother or her new husband anymore. I plan to actually meet him for the first time in 16 years if I can join my fiancé's family vacation.  Point of the matter, do what you feel is right. If you want to talk to him; talk to him. If you don't, don't reply if you don't feel comfortable too. It is purely your choice who you allow in your life, even when it comes down to blood and family.
reply about 12 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
It isn't pathetic in the slightest to seek help. I don't think it is right for your mother and siblings to completely disown you over your choice of living arrangements. If they have pushed you away, remember that it is not your fault and it is purely theirs. You made a choice that you felt would benefit you, and judging from their behavior, it was a good choice. As for your father, I don't fight with my own very much, but when I do it tends to be pretty bad. My mother on the other hand, I fight with constantly so I understand where you're coming from. You shouldn't have to do anything. From the sound of it, it seems more like a personal issue going on with himself, especially a sense of shame or regret with his previous exes so he uses you as an outlet because you're the closest thing he has.  I say find an outlet, a healthy one. Sometimes it is best to let them ramble on until they wear themselves out, but remember that self-defense and "talking back" is not always a bad thing just because they are your guardian. It is important to take a stand for yourself. Be respectful, don't sink to their level.
reply about 13 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I think it is very important to find a healthy outlet and someone to talk to whether it's a doctor, friend, family member, ect. You can even find a journal to write in, if it will help you. I promise you, it isn't worth it to let families opinions and views affect you. I let the same thing happen to me and I still struggle over things that I wish I didn't.
reply about 13 hours