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Why Do You Keep Toying with Me?

December 19, 2017

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Sometimes a problem is just toying with you, in that it won’t leave you alone. It continues to toy at you, despite how little you want it in your life. We all have different problems but problems are something we all have in common. Some are relatable and some are unique to their own. Today on Dear Dish-It’s, “Let’s Talk About it Tuesday” we will be addressing questions and concerns regarding a variety of issues that come up for kids and teens.

Let’s Take a Look at This Week’s Questions:

No matter what anyone says: be yourself.No matter what anyone says: be yourself.

Question by princesscatcrazy

Hey guys, so I'll start by introducing myself. I'm an only child with divorced parents. My dad remarried so I have a stepmother. So I asked my dad to buy me this toy, which I saw an advert for on telly. I didn't have my glasses on so must have seen it wrong. My dad said he'd buy it for me. After closer inspection, it was for 4-7 yr olds ( I'm 10). My dad is still insisting we look for one for older children. I've told him I don't really want it now but he still insists. I'm so embarrassed because he may tell everyone I wanted a baby toy. Please help.

Insight/Advice:

Don’t worry about what anyone thinks or what they might call you. You are not a baby. A lot of the time toys are advertised to appeal to a various age group. it’s not your fault. Plus there are only three years between 7 and 10, it’s not even that large of a gap. If you’re still interested in the toy then you should get it. I know a guy who is in his 30’s and he likes Elmo, so he wears Elmo slippers. He is not concerned with anyone calling him a baby, he is being true to himself and doesn’t care what anyone thinks. You should be you and not care either. If you want the toy, you should get the toy. Nobody besides your family needs to know the age group, and even if people do know the age group it doesn’t matter, we can like things that are for older people or younger people.

Always show kindness and compassion.Always show kindness and compassion.

Question by Phil_LongSHoT

Erm, I just think its weird that when I act myself on here, people are always like you are funny and cool. But people in real life are just shunning me. Like an old baby toy put away in the attic. Any advice? Something?

Insight/Advice:

I think that all that matters is what you think of yourself. Ignore the negativity and don’t let it get to you. People can be low, insulting and rude, but we do not need to let them affect our lives. We decide who and what matters. Don’t call yourself names like “an old baby toy put in the attic” because this is is not true. What matters is what you think of yourself, and regardless, I doubt anyone actually thinks that about you. People are very occupied with themselves, they don’t have time to come up with creative, insulting names to call you. I know it hurts when people put you down or don’t accept you, but you have to ignore them and focus on what is good. You know the truth and that’s all that matters.

This is the season to be generous. This is the season to be generous.

Question by Confused Sis

My brother’s birthday is in this week, and I don't have any idea what should I gift him....I know love is enough, but a gift would be nice...

Insight/Advice:

I agree that gift could be a nice gesture. This is an old question, but this time of year is all about giving. If you didn’t end up getting him a birthday gift you could always get him a Christmas present. Tis the season to give, and tis the season to be generous. Keep in mind you can always give in different ways. You can make cards, you can bake, and you can get creative and make something. If you don’t have a lot of money that’s okay. There are a lot of ways to tell someone that you appreciate them. You could even buy a stocking and fill it up with inside jokes. The sky is the limit. Remember, giving isn’t about how much you can spend. Giving is about the sentiment behind it. It is always the thought that count, and the more meaning we put into things the stronger reactions we get.

It is important to show gratitude at all times.It is important to show gratitude at all times.

Question by Crystal

Dear Dish-It, I'm Moving Into Year Six And Thinking About What I Will Be Doing When I Grow Up. I Want To be a actress a singer, dancer And A Swimmer. But One Thing Is Keeping Me Down.. Getting Bullied. I’m Quiet Small For My Age And It's Been Making Me Have Arguments And Fall Outs With One Of The Most Meanest Person I Don't Like! Since Reception, I've Hated Her.. She Hasn't Been Willing To Be Friends Till Now.. She’s Been Nice But Then Just Went Mean. Since I've Been In School Its Been Tough.. Can U Give Me Advice? I Just Want To Be Friends With People And Not Fall Out!

Insight/Advice:

I know it is so frustrating, but sometimes people just don’t get along. The more space you give this person, the better. Give them a chance to see you in your glory, and get them to appreciate you naturally. If they can’t do that then they are not worth being in your life. I’m sorry you feel bullied, as this is something Dear Dish-It and Kidzworld are strongly against, but you have to try to go about your day without giving her attention. Don’t react to her, don’t follow after her or make efforts. Focus on your real friends. It sounds like you have a lot going for you, so focus on that. Don’t let this person get you down. As I said, there will always be people that you clash with, but you have to learn to cope despite these people. They don’t matter. What matters is who loves you and who sees your talents. Remind yourself of your talents and don’t give up or get down on yourself, you can rise above this.

Don't worry what other people think.Don't worry what other people think.

Afterthoughts

So often we run into issues regarding people not accepting us. We worry so much what others think and questions ourselves and intentions. If you want something, you should go after it. Stay true to yourself. You will feel better about it at the end of the day, even if someone makes fun of you. We fear this, and we fear being judged by our peers, but we have to form our individual identifies.

All of these questions resonate with the notion that we care, and that we care about others and what they think. The worry of others tends to be a big concern, when it shouldn’t be.

Show generosity at this time, and think about other people’s feelings. Try to be extra compassionate and considerate during this season.

Find the right direction for you.Find the right direction for you.

Helplines & Resources: 

  • TeenMentalHealth.org
  • KidsHealth - A safe, private place for kids & teens who need honest, accurate information and advice about health, emotions, and life.
  • Teen Line - A helpline for kids and teens to work through their personal issues and mental health as needed.  1-800-TLC-TEEN or 1-800-852-8336 (Toll-Free US & Canada).
  • Mind Infoline – Information on self-harm and a helpline to call in the UK at 0300 123 3393 or text 86463.
  • Kids Help Phone – Free, anonymous and bilingual helpline for young people in Canada, available 24/7 by phone, Live Chat, and the Always There chat app for any issue, including self-injury and suicide. Call 1-800-668-6868 or visit kidshelpphone.ca.
  • Kids Helpline – A helpline for kids and young adults in Australia to get help with issues including cutting and self-harm. Call 1800 55 1800. (Kids Helpline).

Interested in getting in touch with Dear Dish-It?

Simply email deardish@kidzworld.com with your concern, and we will address you on “Let’s Talk about it Tuesday” if your question is suitable for our topic of conversation. Regardless, keep your eyes peeled as Dear Dish-It it is covering a lot of issues, and you never know when your question or topic of concern will be featured in an article. Please let us know if you would like your handle to be listed as anonymous and list your age in your question if you would like as that can impact advice. To learn the Do's and Don'ts of Dear Dish-It, and to find out what kind of questions are appropriate, check out this article!

Have Your Say

What’s toying with you? Have you been able to rise above it? Comment below.