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Choosing Love Over Friendship

Choosing Love Over Friendship - Reviewed by Kidzworld on Dec 27, 2006
( Rating: 1 Star Rating)

What happens when a friend makes you choose between her and the guy you really like? Would a real friend make you choose? And how do you know if you made the right decision?

I'm in grade 11 and this is one of the hardest years for me. I recently changed schools. I thought I had a very good set of friends at my new school. Ones that you can count on. There were few interested in drinking and drugs and no real rumors going on, yet. I became close friends with a girl named Jenn. I got to know her boyfriend - the one was dating at the time. I got to know every one of the crowd.

Six months went by. School was almost out again. Jenn broke up with her boyfriend and had dated a few others afterwards. I started liking her the ex from months before. The one that she had cheated on. People found out. The whole group, called friends, turned their backs on me. A few friends didn't care, but it turned ugly. I was called everything and anything. I was betrayed more than anything. I was asked to choose. It was either her or the guy. If I chose her, then I had to have nothing to do with the guy. I chose the guy. For a couple of reasons. Those friends that I had, spread rumors about each other all the time. It was one really bad soap opera.

I was sorry to hurt Jenn, real sorry. Yet how this guy made me feel was wonderful. I am the only girl in his world. I was thinking about friends. I thought about the future. The ones that would always be there for me and the ones that I could count on. In the long run, the guy proved to be there.

I wasn't about to give that up. I couldn't afford it. So therefore, I made a choice - one that left me without friends. However, I am happy. The few friends that I have now, I know will be there for me. They are the ones that I call true friends.

1

I know that life goes on. Friends will come and go. Those that stay, are the true ones. I want a family and to marry in the future. I learn to take one day at a time. Treat others how you want to be treated. This makes you a happier person.
Kidz Submit By:
Nickname: Superwoman
Age: 16

1 My bestfriend and I both liked the same guy, but after she found out someone else liked her she stopped liking my crush. But after she stopped liking him, he started liking her! I was depressed. But when I found out my friend got a boyfriend, I knew she wasn't going to go out with the guy I liked.
Kidz Submit By:
Nickname: munchkinkadoodlybob
Age: 14

1 I honestly can say that I would not choose love over friendship. Friends don't come and go, you can't just stop being friends with some one and find another friend just like them. But with guys, that happens all the time. I never do that. But my best friend does it all the time. If her boyfriend calls her she'll hang up with me for him, or if I ask her to go somewhere with me and then he asks her, she'll go with him. I hate when she does that.
Kidz Submit By:
Nickname: Goody2shoes_89
Age: 14

1 Well I think you shouldn't care what others think. You know you like him so go for it. If Jenn didn't want him no more so why should she care since she got her other boyfriend. I mean if a guy makes me happy, why should I leave that for a friend who should care about you and doesn't.
Kidz Submit By:
Nickname: GtownAZnBbgurl
Age: 13

1 Should friends be supporting your decision instead of nagging you to sing?
Kidz Submit By:
Nickname: tomboy girl 13
Age: 12

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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

Autonomy
"Lulu335" wrote: I live in a military family, which means we have to move A LOT. I'm halfway through 6th grade, and I'm really stressed out. The reason is because I have a guy who really likes me, and we liked each other back in the 5th grade, and he's even got me presents and everything, but now I'm starting to doubt whether I still like him or not. And he is a great guy; he's silly, funny, kind- but I just don't know if he's the right guy for me. Plus there's a friend of mine who I know likes me as more than a friend, and he's a great guy, too. I really need advise!! Oh sweetheart, your situation is so, so very far from being complicated. In fact, it's actually, entirely simple. But I'm here to help you see that, because you can't see it yourself quite yet. Brace yourself, you may never hear such advice in your life ever again. Or you might, I can't predict the future. You're in sixth grade, you said. Assuming you live in the United states and weren't held back, you're probably 12, maybe 11. The problem is, the human brain isn't fully developed until a person hits the age of about 25. This means, without debate, that your brain unable to fully grasp what being in a relationship actually entails, what it means, what the consequences are, and so forth. You can't even fathom it, my dear. I couldn't at your age; no one can. You've just begun to hit puberty at this point in your very young, completely normal life. Certain hormones are now being developed by your body that, up until puberty began, your body did not produce. Let me explain, in simple terms, what this means: these new hormones are giving you fuzzy feelings for boys, but these feelings are not what people with fully developed brains call "love." Love means being self sacrificing, compromising, giving and taking, communicating clearly and honestly, and so much more. What you're feeling is a part of love-romance-but it's not all there is to love. It's actually just a few simple chemicals being released in your brain: dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, and few others. Your brain releases those chemicals when, say, you see a boy you like, and those chemicals make you feel all fuzzy inside. In fact, (brace yourself,) there's nothing inherently special about the boys you like, or the boys that like you; in fact, they're also, entirely normal, and aside from a few minor differences in character, completely like most other boys their age. Had you been born in another town, gone to another school, you would have gotten the same fuzzy feeling about whatever boy you thought you liked at that school. You see? I'm not saying this to make you feel insignificant, but perhaps the insight will make moving easier for you. The next place your militant parents settle down in will also have a middle school, with a bunch of normal 11-14 year old boys and girls, all doing the exact same things the kids at your school do right now. Does that put things in perspective for you? The world is a very, very big place, and it's home to billions upon billions of people. Your situation is far from being a needle in a hay stack; it's more like a blade of grass, in a vast field of foliage. The feelings you're feeling aren't uncommon or complicated, they just feel that way to you. (Now, really brace yourself, because this is going to get uncomfortable.) We, as people, tend to think that we're special. Each one of us a unique snowflake, drifting about in big blue sky, that exists solely to show the world how special we are. The problem is, the other seven billions snowflakes (people) think exactly like we do, and in this way, we are all the same. We think our problems are new problems that no one has ever dealt with before, and no one else could possibly understand the pain and suffering we're going through. We all think this way, by nature; but it's simply naive. Heartache and suffering have existed since people existed, and possibly before then. Your situation may not be ideal to you, but once you come to terms with the fact that life isn't ideal for anyone, you might actually feel comfort. The easiest way to cope with our many problems, is to accept them for what they are: a part of the human experience. Natural, normal, repeating generation after generation without end. Again, these are concepts that require some deep thought, and you might not fully grasp them quite yet. But remember them. With time, as you grow, think about them more, and you will find peace with your life. And remember this: although you're stuck (for now) on a giant rock hurling around the sun at an incredible speed, you're not alone. With billions of other people stuck here with you, you'll never be without friends.
reply about 4 hours
Fun_125
I personally think that when you ARE ready then go for it! As long as the person you like isn't a jerk to anyone or you go for it! Just don't get too serious. It's middle school. Good luck!
reply about 6 hours
Error44
"Lulu335" wrote:I live in a military family, which means we have to move A LOT. I'm halfway through 6th grade, and I'm really stressed out. The reason is because I have a guy who really likes me, and we liked each other back in the 5th grade, and he's even got me presents and everything, but now I'm starting to doubt whether I still like him or not. And he is a great guy; he's silly, funny, kind- but I just don't know if he's the right guy for me. Plus there's a friend of mine who I know likes me as more than a friend, and he's a great guy, too. I really need advise!!I know, it is too late but I think you should not go for a deeper relationship, don't make it hard for yourself and try to be his just friend because you are so young .
reply about 9 hours
Error44
"queenslay173" wrote:I was at school when I noticed people started to tell me this boy liked me and I thought it was cool because I'm used to that type of stuff then we started to dated in October we broke up right before christmas and it was so strange. we got back together in the beginning of January and we broke up again on the 4 my friends are really mad at me and he seemed really upset I like him but I just don't want to be with him anymore what should I do ?- confused lover Tell him your reasons and make it clear for both of you
reply about 9 hours
lottie_h141
lottie_h141 posted in Style:
thank u!!! acc helps so much. Obvs going to superstars aswell 
reply 3 days