Top Five Lame Gadgets

Here it is kidz, a big ol' list of things you don't want anything to do with this Christmas. Everything from shoes to videogames and something invented by a guy who owns his own island. Check it out and if you do get one of these call 911 and get Santa treated for a serious lack of coolness.

#1 - The Segway

Starting the parade of lameness is the Segway. It's a motorized scooter invented by a real, live mad scientist - Dean Kamen. It lets you go across dirt, up hills, through doors, forwards, backwards, left and right. Hey... wait a minute, can't my legs do that? And your legs cost less than a Gamecube, PS2, Xbox and Dreamcast combined. The Segway costs almost $3,000. Forget it!

#2 - Lipsense Long Lasting Liquid Lip Color

This stuff should be called Lips-no-sense. This stuff burns when you put it on and won't come off without special chemicals, double ugh! On the other hand, if you ever want a day off school, tell them you're using this stuff. They'll know you're wacked in the head and you'll be able to chill at home and eat Christmas goodies all day.

#3 - Nike Shox XT

Have you seen these new shoes from Nike? They're the ones with the springs in your heel that'll send you flying through the air with the greatest of ease? Ok, I have a question for you - who jumps from their heels? Anyone? I didn't think so, if you're going for airtime you launch from your toes, not your heels. Ker-sprung! Nike strikes out.

#4 - Umbrella Hats

These things are "almost" cool... like how your granny's fruitcake is "almost" delicious. Strap one of these on and you'll never get wet. You'll get beaten up for being a dork but you won't get wet.

#5 - Survivor, the Videogame

Well, they've done it. They've come up with something more painful than spending an hour locked in a room with Jerri from Survivor, Australia. This game lets you pick your survivor, give them attributes (empathy, physical skills, etc...) and then it starts to suck. There's no action, the plotting doesn't work and it looks like dirt. Take some advice - vote this video game off your console.

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