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Dear Dish-It: I Have A Massive Crush

Dear Dish-It,

I have a massive crush on a boy in my bus. We're great friends, and I'm not sure if I tell him that he'll freak out and our friendship is over. But if I don't tell him, a friendship will stay the same and I'll feel upset and it will take me forever to get over. Not to mention, he's a year older than me. And there's a rumor that he likes a different girl. What should I do? And how do I tell him?

Crushed Crusher


Dear Crushed,


I’m happy to see you have already thought this problem through a bit yourself. You’re right when you say that if you don’t do anything about your crush, it is pretty likely nothing will change about your relationship with this guy on your bus. If you do decide to do something about it, we both know things will change…


And that’s where you have a big decision to make, Crushed. If you’re not already sure of this fact, I’m going to give it to you straight right now: the only thing you can control in this world is yourself, your own actions and your own feelings. You can’t control the actions (or reactions) of others. Ever. What I mean by telling you this is, if you decide to tell this guy about your feelings for him, or to ask him on a date, or even to try and show more interest in him beyond the friendship you already have, you will have to be able to deal with or handle whatever kind of reaction you get from him.


He may be into you, too! He may be happy to hear or see you have more feelings for him beyond friendship, and he may respond well to you telling him you like him or asking him for a date or sitting next to him on the bus every day. However, he may not react so well. As you say, he may like someone else right now or he may simply see you as a really good friend. You don’t know what his feelings are or what his reaction is going to be, so you must be prepared for anything.


So this is the decision you need to think about and make, Crushed: is your friendship with this boy too important for you to lose, or are you willing to possible lose it in order to see if things can go further between the two of you? All you need to do is make the choice, then act on whatever your final decision is. If you’re willing to risk the friendship, then tell him how you feel or ask him to see a movie with you or something. If the friendship means too much to you to risk, then hold back for now; besides, you never know what may happen between the two of you (or between you and another guy) down the road.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • I Like My BFF
  • MY GF Moved
  • My Friend Tells My Crush All My Secrets
  • My BFF Spilled The Beans
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • 1 Comment

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    drowning
    drowning posted in Friends:
    @country_girl19, I agree with Athena. She might not realize how she's making you feel and it's best to talk to her about it, if not it could get worse. If nothing changes after talking with her, then I think you should rethink things. @WatermelonCurlz, I don't really think you should hang around them that much. They don't listen to you or seem to really care about the fact that you've talked about getting different friends. I'm not saying to just cut them off all together, but I wouldn't stray from the idea of slowly distancing yourself.
    reply about 4 hours
    JazzyRox
    JazzyRox posted in Friends:
    "WatermelonCurlz" wrote:OMG! OK so, I have a group to 3 friends (not including me) and they love this video game that I'm not allowed to play. And they know that, so they talk about it purposely around me. Omg, ikr.When I ask to talk about something else the ignore me. So I say, I'm going to go find real friends, and they say, OK, like me care. And that's all they want to talk about, at recess, lunch, secretly in class, you name it thye do it. How do I get them to stop?   You should probably just stop talking to them and stuff. don't sit by them at lunch and don't hang out with them at recess. they sound like they are not good friends. if it gets worse, just tell your parents if they don't already know. idk how good i am at advise. hope this helped.  ~JazzyRox
    reply about 4 hours
    WatermelonCurlz
    OMG!OK so, I have a group to 3 friends (not including me) and they love this video game that I'm not allowed to play. And they know that, so they talk about it purposely around me. Omg, ikr.When I ask to talk about something else the ignore me. So I say, I'm going to go find real friends, and they say, OK, like me care. And that's all they want to talk about, at recess, lunch, secretly in class, you name it thye do it. How do I get them to stop?
    reply about 5 hours
    Abbergrl
    Well I strongly agree with you all. It's like, wow I never knew so many people had this problem!
    reply 1 day
    Abbergrl
    Abbergrl posted in Friends:
    A perfect friend is one who respects your feelings and doesn't make fun of them but helps you feel better, who can drive you only slightly insane, and who will try to save you from embarrassing situations by making you see the funny side. :) :D
    reply 1 day