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Dear Dish-It: I Have A Massive Crush

Dear Dish-It,

I have a massive crush on a boy in my bus. We're great friends, and I'm not sure if I tell him that he'll freak out and our friendship is over. But if I don't tell him, a friendship will stay the same and I'll feel upset and it will take me forever to get over. Not to mention, he's a year older than me. And there's a rumor that he likes a different girl. What should I do? And how do I tell him?

Crushed Crusher


Dear Crushed,


I’m happy to see you have already thought this problem through a bit yourself. You’re right when you say that if you don’t do anything about your crush, it is pretty likely nothing will change about your relationship with this guy on your bus. If you do decide to do something about it, we both know things will change…


And that’s where you have a big decision to make, Crushed. If you’re not already sure of this fact, I’m going to give it to you straight right now: the only thing you can control in this world is yourself, your own actions and your own feelings. You can’t control the actions (or reactions) of others. Ever. What I mean by telling you this is, if you decide to tell this guy about your feelings for him, or to ask him on a date, or even to try and show more interest in him beyond the friendship you already have, you will have to be able to deal with or handle whatever kind of reaction you get from him.


He may be into you, too! He may be happy to hear or see you have more feelings for him beyond friendship, and he may respond well to you telling him you like him or asking him for a date or sitting next to him on the bus every day. However, he may not react so well. As you say, he may like someone else right now or he may simply see you as a really good friend. You don’t know what his feelings are or what his reaction is going to be, so you must be prepared for anything.


So this is the decision you need to think about and make, Crushed: is your friendship with this boy too important for you to lose, or are you willing to possible lose it in order to see if things can go further between the two of you? All you need to do is make the choice, then act on whatever your final decision is. If you’re willing to risk the friendship, then tell him how you feel or ask him to see a movie with you or something. If the friendship means too much to you to risk, then hold back for now; besides, you never know what may happen between the two of you (or between you and another guy) down the road.


So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex,how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share,We'll dish 'em up, too.


More Dish-It Advice:

  • I Like My BFF
  • MY GF Moved
  • My Friend Tells My Crush All My Secrets
  • My BFF Spilled The Beans
  • More Great Advice from Dish-It!
  • 1 Comment

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    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    PotterDrinksWater
    While engagement isn't illegal for juveniles, marriage is as you can already tell. Judging by your feelings, I don't think the relationship will last long enough for him to be able to wait. I heard some courts will allow it, depending on location. Knowing whether her engagement is okay is a tricky thing. She seems pretty confident in the relationship. As for your own feelings, how well do you know him? Do you have any knowledge about him outside their love life? Do her parents know anything about him? If you don't now the answers, don't be afraid to ask them to her or her parents. I'm also a 16-year-old girl and I don't feel comfortable with it. Many young adults have a hard time understanding the transition from  teen to adult, but if he's put his problems on her, that's a bad sign. I don't think 5 months is long enough in my opinion and I think this could lead to making bad habits in a relationship. I appreciate that you're trying to help your friend be safe. Hopefully some of her closest people will help her with you. They don't necessarily have to steer her against him, but they should help guide her into deciding what's best ad how to carry on from that.
    reply 1 minute
    CaptJolee
    CaptJolee posted in Friends:
    I don't even think that legal for a adult to marry a teen I think you should ask that part to make sure my theory is correct
    reply about 3 hours
    Boysrock50
    Boysrock50 posted in Friends:
    Do your parents know her parents? Maybe you could get your parents to speak to hers. Or if not, maybe tell her parents yourself that you're concerned. Try speaking to her and making sure she's 100% sure about what she's doing?
    reply about 4 hours
    KittyChes16
    KittyChes16 posted in Friends:
    So last year my friend got engaged at the age of sixteen to a guy of twenty-one and they only dated for 5 months at the time. I'm afraid she's making a mistake. They're still together, but her guy seems like he has a temper and might get abusive in the future.  What should I do? 
    reply about 5 hours
    DaEpicMuffin
    DaEpicMuffin posted in Style:
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    reply about 14 hours