Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: I Have Low Self-Esteem

Dear Dish-It,

I have low self-esteem and my classmates’ teasing doesn’t help. I know I'm not ugly, but no one ever asks me to dance at dances, even though everyone else has been slow- dancing with each other for a few years. What should I do?

No Confidence


Dear No Confidence,

It may sound a little cheesy, but feeling good about who you are - that is, having a healthy amount of self-esteem and self-confidence - is one of those things that will help make your life happier and more successful. Having confidence in yourself and your abilities goes a long way whether you're facing a tough decision, adapting to a new situation or standing up against peer pressure. Here are some tips on how to build your self-esteem.

1. Take a deep breath.

Staying relaxed and being laid-back in general can help you see the bigger picture and not sweat the small stuff so much. It's also a good frame of mind to be in when you're taking a close look at the things you're not so good at.

2. Take inventory of your strengths.

Everybody's good at something, and many people are good at quite a few things. Even if you don't have a talent or strength that you're aware of, you probably have some interests you can develop into strengths. Make a list of a few things you're good at and a few things you're interested in and would like to be better at. Share this list with your parents, an aunt or uncle, or a teacher you like and trust. They can probably help you find other things you're good at, too, and help you come up with a plan for developing other skills and interests.

3. Realize your limits.

Nobody's perfect - not even close. It may not always seem this way, but it's true. So if you weren't born a good singer, a super athlete or an "A" student, that's OK. You have a personality and a perspective on the world that's all your own and completely valuable - even if you suck at basketball, have a big nose or look terrible in leggings.

4. Stop putting yourself down. Now!

One of the biggest things that keeps people from achieving their goals - and feeling good about themselves - is negative self-talk. In other words, telling yourself that you're a loser or a failure puts a big damper on your ability to get what you want and be who you want. If you don't do well at a particular project or task, it doesn't mean that you never will. Perhaps you weren't prepared or the time simply wasn't right. It doesn't mean that you're a lousy human being or that you'll never succeed. It's OK to be upset for a bit when things don't go your way, but after a little while, let it go and move on. You'll be that much closer to achieving what you want if you do.

5. Celebrate progress and small victories.

Did you pass your driver's test or give a killer speech despite feeling nervous? Give credit where credit's due: You did it, and you rule! And guess what? You can tackle bigger, harder projects, too.

6. Pat yourself on the back every day.

Find a few small things that you did well each day. Whether it's waking up on time, smiling at the dorky hall monitor or sending a card to your grandmother, a lot of good can be accomplished in one day - and it's something to take pride in.

So, ya gotta burnin' question? Need some love directions? Thinkin' 'bout stuff like depression, sex, how ya feel 'bout YOURSELF (that's called "self-esteem"), boyfriends, girlfriends, losin' old friends, bullyin' or peer pressure, but too scared to ask the parents? Don't be scared to Dish-It here. Send all of your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com But 'member, if ya hang out in Chat with other Kidzworld members who know ya by your 'username', ya might wanna use a secret nickname when ya write in. That way no one'll ever know it's you. And, just in case ya don't know, Dish-It gets a lotta letters everyday, and she can't answer 'em all. So keep checkin' the column cuz she's prob'ly answerin' somethin' very similar to your question while you're out doin' somethin' else. K? And Thanks! Ya keep her outta trouble. Oh! And if ya've got words of wisdom you wanna share, we'll dish 'em up, too.

More Dish-It Advice:
10 Comments

latest videos

F1029189582234

Do You Think You're Hot or Not?

  • I'm good-looking... enough.
  • I'm pretty cute, if I do say so myself.
  • I am one hot, sexy, babe-alicious catch!
  • I'm not very attractive at all.

related stories

Micro_perfectionist_micro
TheBoyfriend asks: “My girlfriend is the most amazing ever: she’s smart, funny and treats people ...
Micro_happy_micro
Being a positive person who's happy about life isn't as hard as it sounds - it's a choice you mak...
When I go out places, girls 'eye-me-up' but I'm convinced that I'm ugly! I'm not looking for symp...

Dear Dish-It in the forums

Boysrock50
Boysrock50 posted in Friends:
Violence is a last resort. You should try every other way possible to resolve things before turning to violence. Even then, violence should only be used in self-defence.
reply about 19 hours
-fiaaa
-fiaaa posted in Style:
nail polish 
reply about 21 hours
David_Teh_Derp
David_Teh_Derp posted in Friends:
Wait? Isn't everyone in the world gifted? Or at least is special at something. I'm gifted with being excellent at creative video games. I also have a unique way of life. I am extremely weird and creepy, and you could safely say that I must have broken out of the asylum, just that I never have been in a asylum. I am also extremely honest, not like other people. But you will not be unfriended if you say: "I have been getting good grades for some reason lately. Coincidence m8s?". Best way to brag to your friends that you are better than them at thinking.
reply about 24 hours
AlphaNino
AlphaNino posted in Friends:
Dear Dish-It Theres a girl in my class that always gives me hugs, When we play a game in class she always comes to sit next to me. Does She Like Me or is it just she's a really good friend? Please Help me .
reply 1 day
Valoniak34
this   ###.####################.###  has like sum good stories to,i read ur post here and im happy that ur not hushed about the subjet like sooo many 
reply 1 day

play online games