Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: My Uncle Is Gay

The Right To Choose

Dear Dish-It,

My uncle is gay. I saw him and his partner locking lips in the living room. Now every time I see him I feel very strange. I find it hard to talk to him about anything now. What should I do?

GD


Dear GD,


I think I know why you feel uncomfortable around your uncle, and the reason may surprise you.


For too long society (mainly due to religious beliefs) has told us that the only intimate union that’s OK is between a man and a woman. Unfortunately, human beings, who come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and have many different backgrounds, beliefs, needs, wants, preferences, dreams, fears lifestyles and, yes, even sexual orientations, do not fit into this extremely narrow-minded mold. True, some guys are attracted to girls and some girls are attracted to guys – without the kind of attractions, our species wouldn’t last very long. However, the reality is that some guys like other guys, some guys like other girls, some guys and girls like guys AND girls, etc. Sexual orientation (i.e. heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, etc.) is a personal decision and choice, and it’s time we all started not only to accept that, but to embrace it, as well. There’s too much fighting and hatred and prejudice in this world to begin with. We should stop making sexual preference into an excuse to dislike or feel uncomfortable around other people.


Having said that, I’m not going to sit here and give you advice about telling your uncle how you feel or asking him not to do certain things when you’re around (harmless things that in no way can hurt you). The way I see it, GD, your feeling uncomfortable around your uncle just because his partner is a guy means you’ve come to a point in your life when you need to decide what kind of person you want to be from now on. Do you want to be someone who sees the differences between yourself and other people, or do you want to be someone who embraces the similarities we all share as human beings? If you pick the first choice, I can promise you a pretty sad life. What will happen, for example, if one day you get your dream job and it turns out your boss is gay? Will you not be able to work there because of that? Will you risk giving up your success and happiness just because he’s got different opinions than you do? If you choose the second option, you’ll be able to live your life however you want, simply because you allow other people to live their lives as they wish, too. (Treat others like you want to be treated yourself. It’s a pretty good rule to live by.)


If you’ve always had a good relationship with your uncle (and it sounds like you have), you should continue to love and respect him and you should start accepting the fact that he’s got his own life and he has a right to make his own decisions, as long as they don’t cause harm to anyone else (and trust me, his being gay isn’t going to hurt you in any way, ever). Furthermore, you really ought to start accepting the fact that everyone in this whole entire world – your uncle, your parents, your teachers, your friends, your baseball coach, the guy at the video store, the garbage man, the lifeguard at your local pool and even YOU – has the right to live their lives the way they want to (again, as long as their actions don’t hurt anyone) and you have no right to say or tell them what they can and can’t do. I don’t care how weird their choices make you feel.


I’m sorry to sound so harsh, GD, but I think the whole issue about feeling weird or not accepting people for being gay is so tired. Who cares about that? I’m sure your uncle is a great person and that there’s much more to him than the fact that he’s gay. I’m sure you’ll be missing out if you choose not to associate with him anymore just because you have a problem with that. It’s your life. Choose wisely – for your own sake.


In short, here's my advice to you: get over it.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


More Great Dish-It Advice:

  • All About Gay Parents
  • Adoption Issues In The U.S.
  • Are My Friends Gay?

  • >
    >

    readers voted!


    like this article?
    Sign up now to get more just like!

    latest videos

    Gay-sun

    Do You Know Any Gay Poeople?

    • I know peeps who are gay.
    • I don't know anybody who is gay.
    • I think some of my friends are gay.
    • I am gay.

    related stories

    I'm having a problem with my parents. I'm starting to get older and soon I have to tell them that...

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    Awesomeme234
    Awesomeme234 posted in Style:
    I think you should be you wether or not your tomboy or girlie your being you. You have your own style and don't let nobody change that because THEY don't like it it only matters if YOU like it
    reply about 5 hours
    MissD
    MissD posted in Style:
    This is such an interesting question.. I'll tell you why I think so. I am BOTH the biggest tomboy ever and the girliest girl. I think being either or BOTH is more in YOUR mind than in anything else - it's an internal feeling. Femininity is so personal. I always, always, always have my nails done. BUT they are Gel so they never chip and when I am climbing up mountains or pulling on my wetsuit to things that I find typically damaging to your nails - they stay perfect. So I am doing these rather "tomboyish" activities but my nails are awesome :P I wear a lot of dresses but that doesn't deter me from any activity, the key is shorts underneath. I don't wear make up, not usually but I do love lip gloss. One think I guess I think is important though, feel it. Remind yourself how awesome and unique you are, no matter what you wear - hold your head high and remind yourself you are a QUEEN. Not a princess, lame. BUT a queen! Good Luck, and I love all the practical tips everyone provided. Great job you guys! 
    reply about 5 hours
    Moxie_Girls
    Moxie_Girls posted in Style:
    Is it a movie?
    reply about 6 hours
    blakbutterfly
    blakbutterfly posted in Style:
    I'll say some stuff that 'girly-girls' do, and the stuff in the brackets would be things added by my best friend. Who is also very annoyingly sarcastic! -.- Paint your toes (get obsessed to them too, all of these girls are!), wear cute little dresses (don't mean huge ballgown style dresses, duh?) , or just fun-cute tops with jeans, maintain your nails (perfectly), take a lot of care about your skin, maintain it, cleanse, moisturize and exfoliate, and start doing make up. (Also, I would suggest to learn how to do a good hair flip, for some reason girly girls are like 'ERMAIGAWD' *flip hair*) Yes, my best friend is annoying but she's girly enough to be able to have a say in here. Here's a bit of advice from me, don't try to change your style because of what people might think or say, do it if you want to and if you feel comfortable with it. You are more than perfect the way you are, whether a tomboy or a girly-girl and it doesn't really matter what you are.
    reply about 7 hours
    Kirsteeeeen
    Kirsteeeeen posted in Style:
    Personally I think you should just find things you like and wear them without worrying about what style it fits in to. You should express yourself, not conform to other people's views/standards. :)
    reply about 7 hours

    play online games

    Candy-100

    A great online version of the famous Candy Crush. This is the best game launched...

    1515_gl_kidzworld_100x100_jpg_fz

    Intriguing planets, weird and wonderful characters; challenge friends and find a...

    157262_(2)

    When you go back to Candyland, you’ll wonder why you ever left in the first plac...

    100x100_ra_logo_girl

    Uncle George has left you his farm, but unfortunately it’s in pretty bad shape. ...

    _thumb_100x100

    Shoot blobs with different properies to merge yellow blobs. Your blobs can be re...