Kw-logo-smaller

Dear Dish-It: We Fight All The Time

Dear Dish-It,


I have this boyfriend that I've been dating since about February. We clicked since Day 1! He says that he is in love whif me and how he wants to spend the rest of his life whif me and I feel the same way, but we are ALWAYS, no matter what, somehow in an ARGUMENT!!! I hate it when we fight mainly because when he's mad he doesn't call for a while but also because my friends are telling me it's not normal and we should just break up! I really do love him and love how sweet he is and how much he cares for me but is the pain worth dealing whif???


BROKENHEARTEDGIRL15


PS: U might say something about my age but yes I am only 12!!!


Dear BROKENHEARTEDGIRL15,


I don’t think you’re really going to like the advice I have to give, but if you’re a smart, confident girl who wants to do what’s best for YOU then you’ll listen. Besides, considering you are only 12 (yes, I have to bring up your age – sorry), it will get you off to a good start in dealing with guys and relationships – I promise and can absolutely without a doubt guarantee that this is only the first relationship of many you’ll have in the future.


The fact is, fighting and arguing all the time pretty much indicate a bad or what adults call “dysfunctional” relationship. In other words, your friends are right. Arguing all the time is tiring and takes away from the time the two of you can spend having fun together as boyfriend and girlfriend. I’m not saying couples who are in healthy and loving relationships never fight, but it’s barely to the degree you’re talking about. Arguments may come up from time to time, but people who truly love each other and are mature about their emotions and feelings don’t use fighting and anger to “punish” their partners. The fact that you say your boyfriend won’t call you for a while after you’ve argued seems really sad to me – it also tells me he isn’t ready to have the kind of loving and “forever” relationship he says he wants to have with you.


The second this is, how can you know how much you love this guy when you’ve barely had a chance in your young life to love anyone else? Like everything else, love comes in different degrees of strength and intensity. If you had something to compare your love with – say, another relationship with a different boy – you may realize that although you do love your current crush to some degree, it’s nothing when compared to someone who truly loves and respects you, who doesn’t want to pick fights or argue with you all the time and who doesn’t try to hurt you or sabotage your relationship (by not contacting you for days). I’d say give yourself a chance to know other kinds of love before you settle on this one.


So, in answer to your direct question – is the pain worth dealing with? NO. Absolutely, positively not. I hope after reading this you will listen to your friends’ advice and also listen to what I think your own heart is telling you deep down inside – this guy isn’t worth it. Not only that, he’s not the last boyfriend you’ll ever have, and certainly not the best love you’ll ever experience with another person. I say love yourself most first and walk away from people who choose to hurt you – it’s never, ever worth the pain, no matter what.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


Related Stories:

  • I Like My BFF
  • Celeb Love Update
  • Romeo & Juliet Summary
  • Rhianna Interview
  • 25 Comments

    latest videos

    Fight_poll

    Does fighting all the time mean you're in a good relationship?

    • Yes: It's natural to fight with other people a lot, even your boyfriend or girlfriend.
    • No: Healthy relationships means you work things out together, not get angry at each other all the time.
    • Maybe: Fighting a lot doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is bad or over, it just means you need to get some help or advice
    • I don't know

    related stories

    Dear Dish-It in the forums

    Hemmingsgirl
    Hemmingsgirl posted in Friends:
    That's horrible I hope people stop saying that. How rude. 
    reply about 9 hours
    jazebelle
    jazebelle posted in Friends:
    There was a rumor about me losing my ######### to my teacher. It wasn't true. I have a disorder were its hard for me to read Cuz I would think its one word but it wasn't it. And I always stay after school in his classroom Cuz he helps me a lot. 
    reply about 9 hours
    Hemmingsgirl
    Hemmingsgirl posted in Friends:
    Dear Dish-It I have a horse that I board at a local barn. I was really excited when I started going there because there are 3 other kids there my age: Riley, Lilly and Isaac,  who are all 14 (I'm 13). Isaac is the only boy, and lately some of my family have been thinking I have a crush on him. But I don't! I think crushes are weird and gross and honestly have never really had one. I consider him a friend, nothing more. But nobody believes me! Every time they see me texting someone they ask if it's Isaac. If I'm zoned out they ask if I'm thinking about him. But I never am! I know that I should just ignore them but its really difficult. I feel uncomfortable riding horses together or talking because I feel like it'll make people think I have a crush on him. I know my fam isn't trying to be mean but its really upsetting, and the more I get upset the more they tease me. I don't think they realize that I don't find the teasing nice or fun. And also im not usually a sensitive person so maybe this is a touchy subject for me? Thanks so much!  P.S. Riley and Lilly don't think I like him. 
    reply about 11 hours
    Kvinne
    Kvinne posted in Friends:
    Teleportation, wish magic, some black magic here and there (In response to Erza_Scarlet56)
    reply about 13 hours
    David_Teh_Derp
    David_Teh_Derp posted in Friends:
    Well, I don't really know, but I am sort of insane too, but not in the same way. I have instead practiced my own opinion and been very philosophical since I bumped my head when I fell of my bike. So you're not alone, many people including mentally stable ones have imaginary friends. Even some shows are based on someone having imaginary friends. Like a show I used to watch when I was small, Alfons Åberg, yes, in later seasons he did get real friends but he was known for his imaginary friend. About that practicing magic thing, it seems a bit weird but then, there is not much difference from putting frogs, bug's blood and secret herbs into a cauldron from cooking French food. So I think you can discover your future from using cooking stuff to practice your 'magic'. "Insanity is not insanity if you would make a movie of it, and nothing exciting, adrenaline rushing or thrilling would happen in it"  -Me As you can see I have a very complicated opinion on it, maybe even the most. Oh, and you could be loosing your sanity or just having a time where this happens and everything is normal again. (And no, I haven't seen your previous discussions)
    reply about 22 hours

    play online games