-
x

Meet New Friends!

Recommended friends are based on your interests. Make sure they are up to date.

Friends ff8c072dd79a91c1300f032d674241a8d64367100ffb1f25fa3f9bec4a05319f
Kidzworld Logo

Dear Dish-It: We Fight All The Time

Dear Dish-It,


I have this boyfriend that I've been dating since about February. We clicked since Day 1! He says that he is in love whif me and how he wants to spend the rest of his life whif me and I feel the same way, but we are ALWAYS, no matter what, somehow in an ARGUMENT!!! I hate it when we fight mainly because when he's mad he doesn't call for a while but also because my friends are telling me it's not normal and we should just break up! I really do love him and love how sweet he is and how much he cares for me but is the pain worth dealing whif???


BROKENHEARTEDGIRL15


PS: U might say something about my age but yes I am only 12!!!


Dear BROKENHEARTEDGIRL15,


I don’t think you’re really going to like the advice I have to give, but if you’re a smart, confident girl who wants to do what’s best for YOU then you’ll listen. Besides, considering you are only 12 (yes, I have to bring up your age – sorry), it will get you off to a good start in dealing with guys and relationships – I promise and can absolutely without a doubt guarantee that this is only the first relationship of many you’ll have in the future.


The fact is, fighting and arguing all the time pretty much indicate a bad or what adults call “dysfunctional” relationship. In other words, your friends are right. Arguing all the time is tiring and takes away from the time the two of you can spend having fun together as boyfriend and girlfriend. I’m not saying couples who are in healthy and loving relationships never fight, but it’s barely to the degree you’re talking about. Arguments may come up from time to time, but people who truly love each other and are mature about their emotions and feelings don’t use fighting and anger to “punish” their partners. The fact that you say your boyfriend won’t call you for a while after you’ve argued seems really sad to me – it also tells me he isn’t ready to have the kind of loving and “forever” relationship he says he wants to have with you.


The second this is, how can you know how much you love this guy when you’ve barely had a chance in your young life to love anyone else? Like everything else, love comes in different degrees of strength and intensity. If you had something to compare your love with – say, another relationship with a different boy – you may realize that although you do love your current crush to some degree, it’s nothing when compared to someone who truly loves and respects you, who doesn’t want to pick fights or argue with you all the time and who doesn’t try to hurt you or sabotage your relationship (by not contacting you for days). I’d say give yourself a chance to know other kinds of love before you settle on this one.


So, in answer to your direct question – is the pain worth dealing with? NO. Absolutely, positively not. I hope after reading this you will listen to your friends’ advice and also listen to what I think your own heart is telling you deep down inside – this guy isn’t worth it. Not only that, he’s not the last boyfriend you’ll ever have, and certainly not the best love you’ll ever experience with another person. I say love yourself most first and walk away from people who choose to hurt you – it’s never, ever worth the pain, no matter what.


If you've got a burning question, need some love advice or find yourself thinking about things like sex, depression, self-esteem, boyfriends, girlfriends, best friends, bullying or peer pressure, don't hesitate to Dish-It here. Send your questions to deardish@kidzworld.com. And if you hang out in the chat rooms with other Kidzworld members who know you by your username, just send in your secret question using a different nickname if you want to stay anonymous – we promise that no one will ever know it's you. Remember: Dish-It gets a load of letters every day so it may take a while to reply to yours. Keep checking back for her reply, or watch for answered Dish-It questions that are similar to your own.


Related Stories:

  • I Like My BFF
  • Celeb Love Update
  • Romeo & Juliet Summary
  • Rhianna Interview
  • 25 Comments

    Related Stories

    Fight poll

    Does fighting all the time mean you're in a good relationship?

    • Yes: It's natural to fight with other people a lot, even your boyfriend or girlfriend.
    • No: Healthy relationships means you work things out together, not get angry at each other all the time.
    • Maybe: Fighting a lot doesn't necessarily mean your relationship is bad or over, it just means you need to get some help or advice
    • I don't know

    Dear Dish-It In The Forums

    LUCYQWERTY123
    hey there!! well i suggest u to answer back cause i think he missed u cause he hasnt see u for a year and i know he is estranged but if u answer back maybe he wont be strange so yeah :D :D :D
    reply 3 days
    MysticalC
    My dad and I are kind of estranged, we haven't spoken in a year. So my mom decides it would be a good idea to let him message me. He texted me while I was at school and now I have no idea what to do. All he said was 'Hi _, how is school?'. Do I reply? Do I not? If I do, what do I say? My mom and grandparents are no help, they just cracked jokes about it. KidzWorld has helped me with a hell lot of things, I better not be let down this time.
    reply 3 days
    jordand08
    Just act like you were introducing him as one of your friends. Be yourself, wear stuff that’s comfortable. It’s okay to be nervous because everyone will be. Just hang out and have fun.
    reply 4 days
    Fireworksirl360
    one day I was eating lunch with my friends and two boys, (I'm a girl). when one boy told his friend and some other people, everyone but me who he had a crush on. At the end of lunch someone told me and it was me, later on he confirmed it and his friend told us he was on the verge of tears because I found out. people were telling everyone he liked me. Earlier I told him I liked him as not to make him feel bad, he told his friend who told everyone. soon rumors were started my best friend and his had teamed up to make an unstoppable rumor making and spreading team.  on monday it was our all day field trip and he needed to tell me something so on the way back we sat together across from his friend. She asked him if he still liked me. I covered my eyes but could still see and he was saying no but nodding his head. I told him to just tell me and he said yes. By then the rumors were getting really bad so in order to stop them we started hanging out, and became best friends. its summer now and we text each other all the time but we are just friends the rumors have blown over but now another has become true. through all of this,  I really like him now. I don't know I f he still likes me but I know that I really want him too because I really like him now! What do I do? Please help me! I'm so lost! this is all like a nightmare! what if it starts again. What do I do!
    reply 4 days
    imtcutiie
    imtcutiie posted in Style:
    DONT DO IT JUST PLEASE #### #### #### ......... CHANGING EYE COLOR  JUST WRONG
    reply 6 days