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Dear Dish-It: Shaving My Legs

Dear Dish-It,

My mama won’t let me shave – she says I’m too young. What do I do?

lilfabulous

Dear LF,

Every girl, pretty much, has been there before! It can be really tough when your mom doesn’t seem to understand or agree with something that’s important to you. Here are some tips on how to talk to your mom about shaving your legs, what to say and what to do if she says no.

The Talk

If you’ve already asked and she’s said “no” don’t bring it up every 5 minutes – she’ll just get annoyed. Instead, sit her down for a full convo on the subject and don’t bring it up again for a few months – no matter what the outcome. Here are some ways to talk to her about it so that things come out in your favor!

  1. Listen to her: Tell your mom you want to start shaving and acknowledge that she doesn’t approve. Then ask her to explain why. Really pay attention – she might actually have some good reasons.
  2. Explain yourself: Politely tell her your reasons for wanting to shave. If other girls have made fun of you or if it’s making you feel so uncomfortable that you won’t even wear shorts in 90-degree weather, she might be more likely to understand.
  3. Compromise: No matter what mom’s reasons for saying “no” are, you have to let her know that you were listening and you’re willing to meet her halfway. Offer a compromise: you’ll only shave below your knees or you’ll use a hair removal cream instead of shaving.
  4. Give it time: After the two of you have chatted ask her to think it over before she makes a decision. Decide on a time when she’ll tell you and don’t ask her about it until then.

The Decision

Now comes the (hopefully) good part, when your mom tells you whether or not you’re allowed to shave. If your conversation went well, you both listened to each other and she understands that your reasons are good, she’ll most likely say yes. If she does, great! Make sure you include her in the process by asking for tips or a demo. If she says no, here’s how to handle it:

  1. Accept it: Tell her you understand her decision and while it isn’t what you wanted you’ll respect it. Even if you’re feeling totally bummed, you’re showing her how mature you are by not whining.
  2. Try again: After a month or two, approach the subject again. Make sure mom knows that it’s a big deal to you and why. It also might help to gently remind her how mature you were about the rejection last time. You may have to repeat this cycle a few times, but be patient! She will eventually say yes.

Remember: NO BEGGING OR WHINING! If you handle the situation like the mature girl you are, she’ll be more likely to treat you like one.

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shae508 posted in Friends:
"classicalmusicisepic" wrote:my friends offline are having some relationship problems atm and there are just some things i want to mention on here, because i think they're relevant; some warning signs, etc and how to approach them.these not only apply to romantic relationships, but also friendships etc.physical harm - this might be an obvious one. but i just want to share some ways to approach the situation. this includes unwanted touching, hitting, kicking, etc. if your partner is doing this to you, you must report it to a trusted adult, teacher, counselor, close friend, or family member. this is one of the most serious abusive relationships- there are many resources online such as childline, etc, and hotlines you can call if you need to speak to someone about it. they may be able to help you get out of the relationship, and give you a shoulder to cry on.pressure into unwanted intimacy - this is also one of the big ones- your partner should never make you feel uncomfortable or otherwise. if they wish to stay with you, they will wait until you're ready to move onto that stage; if you even ever will be. if you feel pressured, or pushed into doing something you feel you'll regret, sit down and talk about it with your partner. you have a say in your relationship, too.control over your friends - if you feel like your partner has control over your friends- something is wrong. if they want you to dedicate every second of your life to them, with no other people, it's not right. your relationship not only affects the two people in it, (or more if it's polyamourous), but everyone around is affected by your relationship, too. again- you have a say in how your relationship is going, too!  criticizing you and your choices - relationships are about liking each other- if your partner is putting you down or demeaning you, it's a warning sign to get out of it. are they mocking you? or putting down your appearance, clothes, etc? Definite red flag; talk about it with him/her/them. other signs, include:-being doted and adored one day, and the next being pushed away and ignored,-you're afraid of your partner-they obsess over and call/text you constantly-you may find you've lost your confidence-many ups and downs in the relationship, constant roller coaster-you aren't yourself. you change and adapt for them, drop hobbies if they're not into them, etc.-something tells you you cant trust themagain, there are many resources out there if you need to talk. never be afraid to speak about it to someone- a family member, a teacher, a close friend, the police, a guidance counselor, etc.  I bolded that one part. The whole thread is great. And that one is a sign. But remember people with mental illness may also show signs like this to. If they have a good they they may spoil you and love you, and then the next day they're having a bad one. So they might push you away. They also may suddenly dote on you one day also to make up for a bad day. I'm not making an excuse, it's still a ver bad thing to do. I'm just putting it out there.
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