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Dear Dish-It: Shaving My Legs

Dear Dish-It,

My mama won’t let me shave – she says I’m too young. What do I do?

lilfabulous

Dear LF,

Every girl, pretty much, has been there before! It can be really tough when your mom doesn’t seem to understand or agree with something that’s important to you. Here are some tips on how to talk to your mom about shaving your legs, what to say and what to do if she says no.

The Talk

If you’ve already asked and she’s said “no” don’t bring it up every 5 minutes – she’ll just get annoyed. Instead, sit her down for a full convo on the subject and don’t bring it up again for a few months – no matter what the outcome. Here are some ways to talk to her about it so that things come out in your favor!

  1. Listen to her: Tell your mom you want to start shaving and acknowledge that she doesn’t approve. Then ask her to explain why. Really pay attention – she might actually have some good reasons.
  2. Explain yourself: Politely tell her your reasons for wanting to shave. If other girls have made fun of you or if it’s making you feel so uncomfortable that you won’t even wear shorts in 90-degree weather, she might be more likely to understand.
  3. Compromise: No matter what mom’s reasons for saying “no” are, you have to let her know that you were listening and you’re willing to meet her halfway. Offer a compromise: you’ll only shave below your knees or you’ll use a hair removal cream instead of shaving.
  4. Give it time: After the two of you have chatted ask her to think it over before she makes a decision. Decide on a time when she’ll tell you and don’t ask her about it until then.

The Decision

Now comes the (hopefully) good part, when your mom tells you whether or not you’re allowed to shave. If your conversation went well, you both listened to each other and she understands that your reasons are good, she’ll most likely say yes. If she does, great! Make sure you include her in the process by asking for tips or a demo. If she says no, here’s how to handle it:

  1. Accept it: Tell her you understand her decision and while it isn’t what you wanted you’ll respect it. Even if you’re feeling totally bummed, you’re showing her how mature you are by not whining.
  2. Try again: After a month or two, approach the subject again. Make sure mom knows that it’s a big deal to you and why. It also might help to gently remind her how mature you were about the rejection last time. You may have to repeat this cycle a few times, but be patient! She will eventually say yes.

Remember: NO BEGGING OR WHINING! If you handle the situation like the mature girl you are, she’ll be more likely to treat you like one.

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  • Daily.
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Dear Dish-It In The Forums

TimeToStartOver
So I have a secret, and it could ruin all of my best online relationships if revealed. I'm not going to say much about it, because it is, after all, a secret. But I'm pretending to be two people at once, so neither one is really truly myself- they both contain different aspects of me. I didn't think I'd grow close to anybody with my second persona, but then I did, and all this mess started. It's been going on for maybe three months now, that I've been pretending to be two people. I don't want to tell anyone, because it could ruin my friendships. But i don't want to keep it a secret anymore, either.
reply about 3 hours
Kawai_Potato
Kawai_Potato posted in Friends:
I'm going to a new school this year for 7th grade. Its scary because the reviews online say that the kids do nasty things there, and I just want to be accepted for who I am. I want to be the one person that every one feels comfortable talking to..but the issue is, I am shy around people I do not know and it causes me to be an introvert when I can be such a social butterfly. All I need is that one friend and i'll feel on top of the world. How do I make friends and get them to accept me for who I am? The thing that most people talk about is LGBT and to be honest, I have no preference. I could date a boy or a girl. That would make it even harder to gain friends. Please help ;-; I am a potato. A shy potato :3
reply about 5 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Style:
  "imtcutiie" wrote: DONT DO IT JUST PLEASE #### #### #### ......... CHANGING EYE COLOR  JUST WRONG   Changing eye color isn't wrong. :^) But, you can't simply change it with "spells" or videos. To change your eye color, you will need to either wear contacts during the day to appear that you have different colored eyes than you truly have, or medically having a doctor perform surgical iris correction.
reply about 16 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
I hope you texted back if you felt that it would be the right thing to do for yourself. I did not have a good childhood due to my birthmother and father. But, in recent time, I have come to enjoy talking to my birthfather and completely cannot stand my birthmother or her new husband anymore. I plan to actually meet him for the first time in 16 years if I can join my fiancé's family vacation.  Point of the matter, do what you feel is right. If you want to talk to him; talk to him. If you don't, don't reply if you don't feel comfortable too. It is purely your choice who you allow in your life, even when it comes down to blood and family.
reply about 16 hours
drowning
drowning posted in Family Issues:
It isn't pathetic in the slightest to seek help. I don't think it is right for your mother and siblings to completely disown you over your choice of living arrangements. If they have pushed you away, remember that it is not your fault and it is purely theirs. You made a choice that you felt would benefit you, and judging from their behavior, it was a good choice. As for your father, I don't fight with my own very much, but when I do it tends to be pretty bad. My mother on the other hand, I fight with constantly so I understand where you're coming from. You shouldn't have to do anything. From the sound of it, it seems more like a personal issue going on with himself, especially a sense of shame or regret with his previous exes so he uses you as an outlet because you're the closest thing he has.  I say find an outlet, a healthy one. Sometimes it is best to let them ramble on until they wear themselves out, but remember that self-defense and "talking back" is not always a bad thing just because they are your guardian. It is important to take a stand for yourself. Be respectful, don't sink to their level.
reply about 17 hours